When we tell people that we are adopting a little girl from South Korea, we get MANY reactions. Some excited, some apprehensive and some just don't say anything. At all.
For those that are excited, they either know someone personally that is adopted, or they know of someone that has adopted. For those that are apprehensive or quiet, they just don't know much about adoption and so they just don't say much, and may ask an occasional question or two. Here are some questions that I thought I would address today.
Can you not have children of your own?
Believe it or not I was actually asked this question at church, while attending an Adoption Support meeting!
When I went back to the Dr. for my check-up, after we lost the baby, my greatest fear was that he would tell me that this was the end of my pregnancy days. I haven't had the best of times with my pregnancies, let me tell ya! I only have ONE ovary, one was removed while I was pregnant with A, because it swelled up to the size of a football and it was very painful with a 7-month (gestation) baby beside it. (It really was the size of a football, I have pictures!) Anyway, when I went back he said I should have no trouble conceiving. They don't know what went wrong with the baby, the tests were inconclusive. Having another baby was ALL I thought about while grieving. I knew it would take time, and by the time I was ready, God had laid another plan on my heart. Adoption. So to answer the question, yes, we can, but I feel that this is what God destined for our family.
Isn't adoption REALLY expensive?
Well, it isn't cheap! But what is anymore!
People really love to hit on this one. "How much does it cost, anyway?" When I tell them, which I have learned not to do anymore, I get this; "WOW, I don't have that kind of money!" and "I think it's really sad at how the government exploits children like that - someone is getting rich off you!"
First of all, we don't have that kind of money either! When we say we are adopting, people act like we won the lottery and just want to 'give it away.' Yes, adoption is expensive, but to me it's only money. Those same people that think we're nuts, sign on a brand-new truck that's worth more than an adoption. I'm not trying to get poopy on you, but you can't take money with you to heaven, but I will be able to take my daughter!
Secondly, the money spent on adoption is for the paperwork and the process, not the child. It is illegal to 'purchase' a child. However, I think that the government could make it easier and cheaper on all of us. Both agencies and adoptive parents. There is the FACE Act of 2009 petition in place which will enable children being adopted from another country to receive immediate US citizenship instead of the visa process. (click on the link and sign the petition!)
The moral of the story is adoption is totally worth every penny, and if you are lead by the Lord, HE will provide. My God owns cattle on a thousand hills and there is NOTHING He can't do!
You don't have to go over there and get her, do you?
Now, in their defense, the ones who usually ask this are Korean War veterans. The Korea they left, is a very different Korea, now. It is very western-ized. The babies are vaccinated, just like American babies are. The medical capabilities are just as good, if not better, than here. And South Korea is totally safe. We have personally heard hundreds of stories of families traveling to get their babies and having the greatest time ever. Literally, can't wait to go back! Nothing but positive. I bet 80-90% of couples adopting from Korea go and experience the culture and beauty of their childs' birth country. The ONLY thing keeping us from going is the boys. I really want to meet 'baby sister' as a family. Flying all of us over there would not only be hectic but more than we want to spend (or have!) By the way - still haven't decided on which to do yet: escort or travel. We will do what is best for us and best for our little girl.
and last but not least:
Wow, that's quite the process, huh?
Yes! It is! I love the road we are on and thank our Heavenly Father EVERYDAY for it. It takes patience, faith, and trust, but I absolutely love all of it. Well, I don't love that we have been #5 for six weeks! But I would rather be #5 than #15 or #25! How's that for optimism!
I want to tell those of you who have thought about adoption or have even looked into it - don't give it up! Don't say 'it's not for me' or 'it's too expensive!' We said that too, but we pushed on, and God will open doors you never knew existed! God won't leave you alone if He's prompting you. He has great plans for you, you just wait! Email me if you have any questions, I would be happy to help!
Hopefully this time next week we won't be #5! ;)