Tuesday, July 21, 2009

More questions

Well. . . since there is nothing to report as far a list movement, I thought I would answer some lingering questions that I'm sure some of you may have.

When we tell people that we are adopting a little girl from South Korea, we get MANY reactions. Some excited, some apprehensive and some just don't say anything. At all.

For those that are excited, they either know someone personally that is adopted, or they know of someone that has adopted. For those that are apprehensive or quiet, they just don't know much about adoption and so they just don't say much, and may ask an occasional question or two. Here are some questions that I thought I would address today.

Can you not have children of your own?

Believe it or not I was actually asked this question at church, while attending an Adoption Support meeting!

When I went back to the Dr. for my check-up, after we lost the baby, my greatest fear was that he would tell me that this was the end of my pregnancy days. I haven't had the best of times with my pregnancies, let me tell ya! I only have ONE ovary, one was removed while I was pregnant with A, because it swelled up to the size of a football and it was very painful with a 7-month (gestation) baby beside it. (It really was the size of a football, I have pictures!) Anyway, when I went back he said I should have no trouble conceiving. They don't know what went wrong with the baby, the tests were inconclusive. Having another baby was ALL I thought about while grieving. I knew it would take time, and by the time I was ready, God had laid another plan on my heart. Adoption. So to answer the question, yes, we can, but I feel that this is what God destined for our family.

Isn't adoption REALLY expensive?

Well, it isn't cheap! But what is anymore!

People really love to hit on this one. "How much does it cost, anyway?" When I tell them, which I have learned not to do anymore, I get this; "WOW, I don't have that kind of money!" and "I think it's really sad at how the government exploits children like that - someone is getting rich off you!"

First of all, we don't have that kind of money either! When we say we are adopting, people act like we won the lottery and just want to 'give it away.' Yes, adoption is expensive, but to me it's only money. Those same people that think we're nuts, sign on a brand-new truck that's worth more than an adoption. I'm not trying to get poopy on you, but you can't take money with you to heaven, but I will be able to take my daughter!

Secondly, the money spent on adoption is for the paperwork and the process, not the child. It is illegal to 'purchase' a child. However, I think that the government could make it easier and cheaper on all of us. Both agencies and adoptive parents. There is the FACE Act of 2009 petition in place which will enable children being adopted from another country to receive immediate US citizenship instead of the visa process. (click on the link and sign the petition!)

The moral of the story is adoption is totally worth every penny, and if you are lead by the Lord, HE will provide. My God owns cattle on a thousand hills and there is NOTHING He can't do!

You don't have to go over there and get her, do you?

Now, in their defense, the ones who usually ask this are Korean War veterans. The Korea they left, is a very different Korea, now. It is very western-ized. The babies are vaccinated, just like American babies are. The medical capabilities are just as good, if not better, than here. And South Korea is totally safe. We have personally heard hundreds of stories of families traveling to get their babies and having the greatest time ever. Literally, can't wait to go back! Nothing but positive. I bet 80-90% of couples adopting from Korea go and experience the culture and beauty of their childs' birth country. The ONLY thing keeping us from going is the boys. I really want to meet 'baby sister' as a family. Flying all of us over there would not only be hectic but more than we want to spend (or have!) By the way - still haven't decided on which to do yet: escort or travel. We will do what is best for us and best for our little girl.

and last but not least:

Wow, that's quite the process, huh?

Yes! It is! I love the road we are on and thank our Heavenly Father EVERYDAY for it. It takes patience, faith, and trust, but I absolutely love all of it. Well, I don't love that we have been #5 for six weeks! But I would rather be #5 than #15 or #25! How's that for optimism!

I want to tell those of you who have thought about adoption or have even looked into it - don't give it up! Don't say 'it's not for me' or 'it's too expensive!' We said that too, but we pushed on, and God will open doors you never knew existed! God won't leave you alone if He's prompting you. He has great plans for you, you just wait! Email me if you have any questions, I would be happy to help!

Hopefully this time next week we won't be #5! ;)

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

God brought kitty.

There are two kinds of pet people, well actually three kinds, the cat-lovers, dog-lovers and those that choose not to have pets. I am a dog person, my hubby is a cat person. I was raised with dogs and he was raised with cats. So how do two people with such backgrounds choose their first pet? Our first pet was . . . a cat. Yep, he won.

Actually, I loved our kitty, Phoebe (he also picked the name). She was very independent and never listened to a word I said. I quickly found out that cats aren't really trainable, well unless they think it's worth it. So when our beloved kitty passed on (she had really bad skin cancer) I didn't plan on having another one. We got a little dog for the boys and we were good with just one pet.
My youngest son is a cat-lover. He has begged for a kitty for the past year. Literally. My parents and my in-laws both have a cat and I said "you have a kitty honey, at Nanny's and Grandma's." Um, not very convincing, I guess. I have came to the conclusion that my little boy prayed for God to bring us a kitty.

On the morning of our 10th wedding anniversary, a tiny, malnourished, scared, wild kitty found itself under our bay window. It took us about an hour to finally reach her and pull her out. She was extremely skinny and barely alive.

She was so little and could barely meow or even eat. We fed her warm milk and she acted like she hadn't eaten for a long while. Within minutes, she was purring.

That night we kept her in a big box inside the house and she cried alot through the night. She was really scared and was very unsure of her surroundings. She was NOT used to being around humans. My oldest son asked "why is she crying and meowing so loud?" and I said "she's calling for her mommy."

Four weeks later, she is a VERY different kitten. She prefers me over anyone else. She's playful, curious, healthy, and brings so much happiness to our family. I go out to greet her and feed her and she comes right up to me and purrs the loudest purr I have heard a little kitten do. Where before, she wouldn't come near any of us and she was petrified of everything.

Here she is about two weeks ago. She is now twice this size.
I now know why God sent us this kitty. The path of our kitty parallels the path of life that begins when our little girl comes home. She won't be malnourished and afraid of humans. But she will cry and mourn for her Foster mother. She will be unsure and maybe fearful of her new surroundings. And although we won't nurse her back to health, we will begin the attachment process. Kittens don't purr unless they feel safe, and I believe that our baby girl will supernaturally know that she was meant to be in our arms and in our family from day one. It will feel "natural" to her, just like kitty felt naturally safe.
I don't equate the "saving" of a kitty to that of "saving" our daughter. God has shown me through this instance that animals, just like people, are born with instinct. And our little princess will instinctively know that I am her mother. It will feel right to her. This little lesson that God gave me really put me at peace. I will instinctively know what to do and how to attach, with Him right by my side. There is alot to adoption, but I wouldn't have it any other way and I am so thankful for these gifts that HE has given us.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Update(s) with butterflies

Adoption: Absolutely NO movement, what-so-ever, on the list since June 8th! I know, what is up, huh? Bring us some babies already! This is sheer torture and I can't imagine what life is like when you're #1 and waiting. Jumping. every. time. the. phone. rings. That will be me, well, I already jump when the phone rings and I'm only #5! It will be soon, though, July is our month for FOUR referrals, I can feel it! ;)

Baseball: The Machine-Pitch season is over. No more cheering. No more Wednesday night practices. No more games. What will I do with my summer now? I'm sure I will find something! ;) We finished at First Place, 7-1. Not bad, but I am sad for it to be over. It was a great year and K. (our oldest) really improved on his skills. Can't wait for next year!

Waiting: Doing anything and everything to keep my mind off of that darn referral call. Just thinking about that phone call sends my whole stomach into butterflies. I can't wait! NO, REALLY, I literally can't wait! Actually, I CAN, and I will! Being able to tell our number on the list with ONE hand really does something to a person. One word, Butterflies.

Festivities for the Weekend (the Fourth of July): BIG plans for the fourth. Well, unless you count a really small town parade, a lunch BBQ, then a dinner BBQ and fireworks BIG, then ok, BIG plans. We do it every year. And every year we say "I wonder what we will be/have/do next year at this time?" Well, hold on folks, I can say with assurance (I hope) that our little girl will be watching the parade with us next year! (Butterflies, yet again)

Last year at this time we were praying and seriously considering adopting a little girl from South Korea. It was at the end of July that we officially filled out the Preliminary Application and received the ENORMOUS package in the mail. I was at a family reunion in Kansas when Chad got the packet. Overwhelmed, he called me and asked, "what are we doing again?"

Once I got back, we trudged through each piece of paperwork. On August 4th, 2008 we mailed off our official Application and the money it took to get us started. Our agency received the check, packet and put us on the girl's list on August 14, 2008 at #25. That's the day we became a waiting family. I anxiously await the day that we finally become a forever family.
Oooh, a familiar feeling, butterflies.