Sunday, August 22, 2010


I guess it might be time for a post. Since it's been forever.

Last time I left you, our loving Social Worker was coming over for our first visit. It was GREAT. She is an awesome person to talk to and I feel like she totally understood everything. Our main topic of conversation was getting Joye to NOT scream before naps and bedtime. What could it possibly be? Why is she doing this? I then explained our troubles and she said that what I was doing, was the best fit for the situation. Whew! Big relief! I felt like an Angel flew into my living room right at that moment.

I had doubt, guilt and low confidence and she restored all of that in one brief hour of talking.

So what am I doing, you ask? Joye is happy about 99% of the time. The 1% is when you are trying to get her to fall asleep. Once she's asleep, she's good. It's getting her there. I've mentioned this before, and it's not new to many of you.

I have found that holding her tight, while rocking her, helps a lot. She fights it, but she fights sleep anyway. I brought this up with SW, and she said that it's exactly what Joye needs. She needs to feel safe and that I am never going away, no matter how much she screams and fights.

To me, it's better than putting her in her crib and letting her scream by herself. Some kids need that, Joye wouldn't do very well. I have tried to let her 'put herself to sleep' or self-soothe and she doesn't do it. THREE HOURS goes by before I have to finally go in and hold her to get her to sleep. She doesn't cry the whole time, she just does EVERYTHING she can to keep herself awake. It's painful - on ME! I would rather hold her and inadvertently 'teach' her to fall asleep. Something I felt was true, but SW confirmed it. I feel horrible sometimes because she fights it SO bad and gets herself worked up, but after she's calm, she wants kisses and drifts off to sleep.

It's really hard, but I see it getting better. I hold her in a loving, calm manner. I Talk to her and tell her how much I love her. We have had the same routine for over two months now, so she knows what nigh-nigh-time is all about. She's just stubborn and doesn't want to be told when to go to bed. I'm pretty sure she was responsible for when she fell asleep on her own in Korea.

All in all, I am SO thankful for our Social Worker and our meeting.


Then we headed to the Big City for a Rockies game and to partake in our agency's Annual Picnic. We LOVED the game and Joye did amazingly well! The game ended at 11:00 p.m. and since she hates the act of being put to sleep, she stayed up for the ENTIRE thing! But getting her to sleep was that much harder once we got back to the Hotel. :(

The next morning, we headed to Berthoud and met all of our agency/blog friends for the first time. It was AWESOME! So glad we made the trip over! We got to see where AAC HQ was and actually meet the people that I have talked on the phone with for the past two years! Then we headed to Chad's Uncle and Aunt's for the night and then headed home the next morning. Joye did great, but she doesn't get excessively cranky when she's SOOOO tired and we are out and about. (At home it's another story.)


This last week we caught up on sleep :) and settled into our normal school routine.

Well I just thought I would let you know that we are indeed alive and doing pretty well. Just living through the up's and down's and trying to be thankful for ALL the moments! ;)


Larsen Family said...

I understand about her going to sleep WHEN she wanted to in Korea. Same situation here. Night time has gotten sooooo much better; major routines. However, we don't even try to nap, even though it would do us all a world of good. We have our 2nd visit in a couple of weeks. Hoping it goes well.

Allen and Kala said...

Thanks for the update. I hope the sleeping get better :)

Michelle said...

Good to hear from the social worker's mouth that you're doing all the right things. Awesome news! Hang in there mama. Just when we think we've got the naps licked, we have a poopy day. It'll all come. Routine, routine, routine is what I keep telling myself. So glad that you were able to go to the picnic. Joye sounded like a trooper on the trip. She's such a doll. We need some more pictures soon - LOVE that sweet face :)

Steve and Karen said...

Sorry we missed the picnic. I would have loved to meet you and your family. Thanks for sharing.

Marcus/Tash said...

It was great meeting you guys last weekend. You have a really nice family and it's to bad we didn't live closer to each other. Best of luck with Joye's sleeping.

Kelly said...

We had a really hard time with Lindsey when we got home from China. She still is not a great sleeper, but as least will fall asleep in her bed (then usually comes in ours early morning to go back to sleep). I remember how functioning during the day was sometimes painful!! Hang in there--this season will pass. And be encouraged that a lot of moms have been where you are!