All About Avery Cake
1 year ago
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Bloggy friend Referral!
Shelley, a sweet bloggy friend that I have met through the blessing of adoption, recieved her referral of a beautiful baby girl yesterday! HUGE CONGRATS TO HER AND HER FAMILY! We have waited together since last fall and have supported each other through the tough times of waiting. We are also through the same agency. She is SO supportive of everyone and gives to others continually. Pop on over to her blog and take a gander and her beautiful daughter, she's a REAL cutie! I hope the wait to bring her home is VERY short!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Questions: Answered
We sent out a letter at the beginning of January to friends and family, explaining our exciting journey toward adoption. Since then, I have had a few inquire about the details. And, really, that's kind of why I started this blog, to inform our friends and family and whoever else that happened upon it (the blog). So today, I want to do a post entirely on the details of why, how and how old, which seem to be the ones asked most recently.
Why Korea?
I may have touched on this already, but Korea kind of chose us. We first looked into China, but I wasn't 30 years old yet and we really didn't want to wait to apply. Then wait for another 3-4 years to bring her home. Plus the qualifications were ALOT harder. So we began researching other Asian countries and even Africa. The age requirement (less than 30 years) really helped us narrow countries down. South Korea really popped out at us. It was the oldest and most solid program (it began in the mid-1950's) which really comforted us. The babies were cared for in Foster homes, instead of orphanages, and were typically younger in age than most other countries that we looked into. I then found AAC in our Yellow pages (a miracle, I believe) and the rest is history! They are based in Berthoud (Denver area) and have two Social Workers here on the Western Slope to do homestudies and Training. Perfect. Looking back, I truly believe God has His Hands on the WHOLE thing! We absolutely LOVE our agency and I am SO thankful to be a part of it all.
Why not Domestic (inside the US) Adoption?
Chad and I discussed Domestic for about three minutes, and mutually decided it really wasn't for us. We have since discussed it, and have remained confident in our decision. Mainly, having just lost our baby, the probability of having a birthmother change her mind didn't appeal to us. We wanted something more concrete. Don't get me wrong, things go wrong in International Adoption - governmental changes, countries closing, more restrictions - but overall the South Korean Program has been around for a long time, and we found it very appealing. Same conclusion with Foster Care/Foster-to-adopt. Didn't feel like it was the path we were to take at this particular time.
How old will she be when you get her?
Remember those regulations I mentioned in the previous question? Well South Korea used to adopt their babies out at birth, and were usually united with their forever families at about 4-5 months of age. Beginning in 2007, that changed, and South Korea started a new initiative of Domestic Adoption. So now, our little girl will be matched with us when she is about five months old. S. Korea gives the children a chance to be adopted within their birth country first, then internationally.
Once we become #1, our agency gets a packet from Korea, with all of our little ones medical info., pictures, and such, and gives us A CALL (I get butterflies just writing this). They say "we have a little girl for you to look at," followed by me screeeeaaaming to the top of my lungs and crying uncontrollably (that's how I envision it, anyway). AAC then sends us her information via email and we fall madly in love. We typically have 24-48 hours to accept our referral. During this time, we give her file to an IAP (international adoption physician) to review and tell us what he thinks, and a brief medical history explained in layman's terms. The babies are usually very healthy.
We then give our agency a call back and say "she's ours, we accept!" After that all of our information (homestudy) is sent to Korea and then 1-4 weeks later our "Legals" arrive. Which is just the legal paperwork stating that we intend to adopt this little girl. After that, there is a series of (MANY) steps to get her home. We will deal with those, and I'm sure will have another LONG post (like this one) stating that process, after we get our referral. Typically, the timelines from referral to travel (bringing her home) average around 4 months. Some are longer, some are quicker. Depends on the paperwork and how quickly it gets done, both in Korea and here in the US.
So a VERY long answer to a VERY short question is 8-9 months, ideally. Some are closer to a year. It really varies.
What is her name?
We have a very beautiful name already picked out, but I will announce it once we announce her. Her middle name will be the name she was given at birth, her Korean name. Some babies are named by their birthmother and others are named by their Social Worker in Korea. Either way, we want to keep it.
She'll be American, so why would you include her culture?
She was born in Korea, and so her culture will be a huge part of who she is as a person. Yes, she will reside in the United States, but a part of her heart will always be in Korea. Her birthparents are there, her Foster parents that raised her for the first 8-9 months of her life, are in Korea. The sounds, smells, language will all be a part of her - forever. She may not retain alot of it, but she will always connect to Korea in a very special way. That is why we are really praying about going to Korea to get her. We will be able to bring things back, tell her of the wonderful counrty Korea is, and to meet her Foster Parents. All priceless.
Ok, those were the ones that I felt led to touch on. I'm sure there will be more, and I welcome any questions anyone may have.
Why Korea?
I may have touched on this already, but Korea kind of chose us. We first looked into China, but I wasn't 30 years old yet and we really didn't want to wait to apply. Then wait for another 3-4 years to bring her home. Plus the qualifications were ALOT harder. So we began researching other Asian countries and even Africa. The age requirement (less than 30 years) really helped us narrow countries down. South Korea really popped out at us. It was the oldest and most solid program (it began in the mid-1950's) which really comforted us. The babies were cared for in Foster homes, instead of orphanages, and were typically younger in age than most other countries that we looked into. I then found AAC in our Yellow pages (a miracle, I believe) and the rest is history! They are based in Berthoud (Denver area) and have two Social Workers here on the Western Slope to do homestudies and Training. Perfect. Looking back, I truly believe God has His Hands on the WHOLE thing! We absolutely LOVE our agency and I am SO thankful to be a part of it all.
Why not Domestic (inside the US) Adoption?
Chad and I discussed Domestic for about three minutes, and mutually decided it really wasn't for us. We have since discussed it, and have remained confident in our decision. Mainly, having just lost our baby, the probability of having a birthmother change her mind didn't appeal to us. We wanted something more concrete. Don't get me wrong, things go wrong in International Adoption - governmental changes, countries closing, more restrictions - but overall the South Korean Program has been around for a long time, and we found it very appealing. Same conclusion with Foster Care/Foster-to-adopt. Didn't feel like it was the path we were to take at this particular time.
How old will she be when you get her?
Remember those regulations I mentioned in the previous question? Well South Korea used to adopt their babies out at birth, and were usually united with their forever families at about 4-5 months of age. Beginning in 2007, that changed, and South Korea started a new initiative of Domestic Adoption. So now, our little girl will be matched with us when she is about five months old. S. Korea gives the children a chance to be adopted within their birth country first, then internationally.
Once we become #1, our agency gets a packet from Korea, with all of our little ones medical info., pictures, and such, and gives us A CALL (I get butterflies just writing this). They say "we have a little girl for you to look at," followed by me screeeeaaaming to the top of my lungs and crying uncontrollably (that's how I envision it, anyway). AAC then sends us her information via email and we fall madly in love. We typically have 24-48 hours to accept our referral. During this time, we give her file to an IAP (international adoption physician) to review and tell us what he thinks, and a brief medical history explained in layman's terms. The babies are usually very healthy.
We then give our agency a call back and say "she's ours, we accept!" After that all of our information (homestudy) is sent to Korea and then 1-4 weeks later our "Legals" arrive. Which is just the legal paperwork stating that we intend to adopt this little girl. After that, there is a series of (MANY) steps to get her home. We will deal with those, and I'm sure will have another LONG post (like this one) stating that process, after we get our referral. Typically, the timelines from referral to travel (bringing her home) average around 4 months. Some are longer, some are quicker. Depends on the paperwork and how quickly it gets done, both in Korea and here in the US.
So a VERY long answer to a VERY short question is 8-9 months, ideally. Some are closer to a year. It really varies.
What is her name?
We have a very beautiful name already picked out, but I will announce it once we announce her. Her middle name will be the name she was given at birth, her Korean name. Some babies are named by their birthmother and others are named by their Social Worker in Korea. Either way, we want to keep it.
She'll be American, so why would you include her culture?
She was born in Korea, and so her culture will be a huge part of who she is as a person. Yes, she will reside in the United States, but a part of her heart will always be in Korea. Her birthparents are there, her Foster parents that raised her for the first 8-9 months of her life, are in Korea. The sounds, smells, language will all be a part of her - forever. She may not retain alot of it, but she will always connect to Korea in a very special way. That is why we are really praying about going to Korea to get her. We will be able to bring things back, tell her of the wonderful counrty Korea is, and to meet her Foster Parents. All priceless.
Ok, those were the ones that I felt led to touch on. I'm sure there will be more, and I welcome any questions anyone may have.
Friday, May 8, 2009
HS update and Last day of School!
Our Social Worker called yesterday and our Homestudy is officially typed up and completed. I know I posted that it was already done, which it was, but it needed to be typed up sent to AAC for revisions and then reviewed by us. So we will meet with her next week and then I believe it's off to the State to be approved. We're getting CLOSER! I am going to call AAC next week and see if there is anything we need to be doing and make sure that we are "paper ready." I've done everything on my checklist and now we just . . . wait.
I'm feeling that we will see our little girl's face sometime in July. There were three referral's each in March and April. So if we have three in May and three in June, that puts us at #2 in July! As we have found out with our Homestudy, it's all in His Timing.
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Today is the last day of school for Kaleb and I. Wahoooo! We start pretty early in the fall so we can have an early summer. Next year, I will have a 3rd Grader and a Kindergartener plus a 8-9 month old to entertain! I can't wait! It will be very different schooling two and having a little one. But I wouldn't have it any other way. It won't be easy, but in the end I believe that this is what is best for our family. I LOVE having them home and being able to give them a solid foundation. I have scheduled a month-long break from school, next year, once baby sister comes home. It will give us some adjustment time and getting a schedule in place. I hope. It will be interesting, to say the least! Relying on His power, and I'm sure He will get me through!
I'm feeling that we will see our little girl's face sometime in July. There were three referral's each in March and April. So if we have three in May and three in June, that puts us at #2 in July! As we have found out with our Homestudy, it's all in His Timing.
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Today is the last day of school for Kaleb and I. Wahoooo! We start pretty early in the fall so we can have an early summer. Next year, I will have a 3rd Grader and a Kindergartener plus a 8-9 month old to entertain! I can't wait! It will be very different schooling two and having a little one. But I wouldn't have it any other way. It won't be easy, but in the end I believe that this is what is best for our family. I LOVE having them home and being able to give them a solid foundation. I have scheduled a month-long break from school, next year, once baby sister comes home. It will give us some adjustment time and getting a schedule in place. I hope. It will be interesting, to say the least! Relying on His power, and I'm sure He will get me through!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Waiting
I was brousing the Holt BB this morning and found this video. I was feeling discouraged this past weekend because I don't feel like we will get our little girl home before Christmas. I was really hoping we could. This video put everything into perspective. Plus, the time we wait is very minimal compared to the time - lifetime - we get to spend with her. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y
Thursday, April 30, 2009
God chose Mary
Kaleb and I were reading our Bible lesson yesterday morning and what he read out loud struck me:
"Jesus was born into a very special family. Mary, his mother, was chosen by God."
I guess I always knew this, but thinking like an adoptive mother, the meaning of it all really hit me. I'm not saying that I am Mary, and am not equating my situation to that of Mary's, but it made me think . . .
"God chose me to be the mother of a very special little girl in Korea, and He chose her to be a part of our family."
This revelation made me think of Joseph's relationship to Jesus. God was Jesus' father, and yet Joseph loved him just like a father would. Amazing isn't it?! God didn't wait until Mary and Joseph had been married and concieved a child together, and then say "this child within you is Jesus, the Son of God."(that wouldn't have worked, but you get the point) He designed it all as an Adoption story.
So when my little brown-eyed beauty begins to ask me all the questions about her birth family, why we decided to adopt and how she came to be "ours" I will refer to this story and tell her "God picked us all out like flowers, put us in a vase, which is our family, and He is the water that keeps us growing, together."
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Memorial Box Wednesday
Linn, and many of her bloggy friends, host Memorial Box Monday and Thankful Thursday. So Monday I had Thankful Monday and today I'm having Memorial Box Wednesday. I'm all mixed up . . . but you all get the point, thankfully. I don't think I have done a Memorial Box Monday post yet, because I don't actually have a Memorial Box to remember from. In light of that, I will explain what a "Memorial Box" is and why I chose to write about it today. A Memorial Box is really anything that holds reminders of God's faithfulness. Linn has had her Memorial Box for many years and has inspirational story after heart-warming story of God's wonderful faithfulness. Like I said, I don't have a box, but if I did, there would be something in there reminding me of this story.
Since the beginning of our Adoption process I learned that when you get your referral, you have about 24-48 hours to review the information and decide whether to accept or deny. During that period, you are to contact your Doctor, send him/her all the medical information and then they are to review the medical issues (if any). You then decide if this is the little one meant to be in your family. (For the record, I don't know if I could say "no")
I love our family Doctor and he has been a perfect fit for our needs. However, he's not the one that I would look to for a review of our referral. When we went in for our physicals he asked what we were doing this for and I told him. He isn't even familiar with Adoption, nonetheless International Adoption. So for months I researched, asked other Adoptive families and obsessed that there would be no one to review our baby' file. I ended up finding some contacts but they were either very expensive and couldn't guarantee a timeframe. It was something that was on my mind alot. Not to mention in my prayers alot.
Well about a month ago, a gentle whisper told me "why don't you email that couple, from your training class?" This particular couple are both Family Physicians, and have twin girls from Korea and had just had their baby boy escorted about a week before we met them. Hmmm . . International Adoption experience . . . with Korea! I was also on this, what if twins were offered and we were #1, kick so, I decided to email them, ask about their twins and see if they wouldn't mind reviewing our referral when we were blessed with one. He was the nicest and most awsome man. He told me that they were actually #3 or 4 when they got the call for their twin girls. The other families ahead of them passed. And then said that he and his wife would LOVE to look at our referral and actually he's a consult for our agency!! I was giddy for a good week!!! Everything with this process has been blessed by the hands of God and I am in awe! He's also relatively close (about 40 miles) and if I feel the need, I could take our baby girl there for check-up's and such. It was just too awesome of a story to not tell. (I'll have to share my what-if-twins' story later, it's a pretty good one too!) God is GOOD . . . all the time.
Since the beginning of our Adoption process I learned that when you get your referral, you have about 24-48 hours to review the information and decide whether to accept or deny. During that period, you are to contact your Doctor, send him/her all the medical information and then they are to review the medical issues (if any). You then decide if this is the little one meant to be in your family. (For the record, I don't know if I could say "no")
I love our family Doctor and he has been a perfect fit for our needs. However, he's not the one that I would look to for a review of our referral. When we went in for our physicals he asked what we were doing this for and I told him. He isn't even familiar with Adoption, nonetheless International Adoption. So for months I researched, asked other Adoptive families and obsessed that there would be no one to review our baby' file. I ended up finding some contacts but they were either very expensive and couldn't guarantee a timeframe. It was something that was on my mind alot. Not to mention in my prayers alot.
Well about a month ago, a gentle whisper told me "why don't you email that couple, from your training class?" This particular couple are both Family Physicians, and have twin girls from Korea and had just had their baby boy escorted about a week before we met them. Hmmm . . International Adoption experience . . . with Korea! I was also on this, what if twins were offered and we were #1, kick so, I decided to email them, ask about their twins and see if they wouldn't mind reviewing our referral when we were blessed with one. He was the nicest and most awsome man. He told me that they were actually #3 or 4 when they got the call for their twin girls. The other families ahead of them passed. And then said that he and his wife would LOVE to look at our referral and actually he's a consult for our agency!! I was giddy for a good week!!! Everything with this process has been blessed by the hands of God and I am in awe! He's also relatively close (about 40 miles) and if I feel the need, I could take our baby girl there for check-up's and such. It was just too awesome of a story to not tell. (I'll have to share my what-if-twins' story later, it's a pretty good one too!) God is GOOD . . . all the time.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Thankful Monday
First of all, we are now #8! Other waiting Mom's, that are closer, have said after you are #10 it really tends to go fast. I'm so thankful they're right! A couple with our agency that has been on hold for a while finally got their referral on Friday! HUGE Congrats to them!!!
Then, this morning our SW called with a couple of questions about our Homestudy - which is a really good sign towards completion! God is faithful! The next step is reviewing our HS and then it gets sent to our agency. It then gets sent to the State (CO) and then off to Korea. If I understand it right, our agency usually sends the HS off to Korea very close to our expected referral. I am so thankful.
This weekend, my sister-in-law and brother came home for his birthday. It was so great to see the both of them. They don't live far, but it was great to be together and laugh. They both are such awesome people and I am so thaknkful for the time spent with them.
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I absolutlely LOVE our church. Our Pastor was the vehicle who started the "Adoption Ball" rolling with us. He has a little girl from China and is adopting again through Haiti. Like I've mentioned before, Chad had the desire to adopt a few months after we lost the baby, and I wasn't really on board. I had alot of " soul searching" to do. I then caught on, and God really spoke to my heart. Pastor K had a series of messages (three, actually) that really tugged on me. After the third one, Chad and I looked at each other and we both knew it was time. God was calling both of us to adopt.
At about that time, an Adoption Ministry was beginning to take root. (How divine is that?!) We started meeting some really cool couples. They have Adoption support meetings every month, and we've made just one. We live 40 miles away and they sometimes coincide with Kaleb's Pack Meetings. We have couples adopting from China, Haiti, Domestic and some Foster-to-Adopt. We are the only family adopting from Korea, though. I'm really trying to spread the word! Anyways, our church has a goal to adopt 100 children before December 2010. This past weekend was #1! A couple adopted a beautiful baby boy via domestic. And another couple is very close to getting their baby as well. They are both through the same agency in Salt Lake. Once their file opens it takes about 2-4 weeks to get their little one!
I think it is so great to have a Pastor that has a heart for Orphans. We've been with our church for over 10 years and I have never seen such a movement to reach out to children like this. I believe there are over 60 couples involved with the Adoption Ministry and are somewhere in the process. Not to mention the many couples that have already adopted and make up an AWESOME support system. I am so thankful.
Then, this morning our SW called with a couple of questions about our Homestudy - which is a really good sign towards completion! God is faithful! The next step is reviewing our HS and then it gets sent to our agency. It then gets sent to the State (CO) and then off to Korea. If I understand it right, our agency usually sends the HS off to Korea very close to our expected referral. I am so thankful.
This weekend, my sister-in-law and brother came home for his birthday. It was so great to see the both of them. They don't live far, but it was great to be together and laugh. They both are such awesome people and I am so thaknkful for the time spent with them.
---------------
I absolutlely LOVE our church. Our Pastor was the vehicle who started the "Adoption Ball" rolling with us. He has a little girl from China and is adopting again through Haiti. Like I've mentioned before, Chad had the desire to adopt a few months after we lost the baby, and I wasn't really on board. I had alot of " soul searching" to do. I then caught on, and God really spoke to my heart. Pastor K had a series of messages (three, actually) that really tugged on me. After the third one, Chad and I looked at each other and we both knew it was time. God was calling both of us to adopt.
At about that time, an Adoption Ministry was beginning to take root. (How divine is that?!) We started meeting some really cool couples. They have Adoption support meetings every month, and we've made just one. We live 40 miles away and they sometimes coincide with Kaleb's Pack Meetings. We have couples adopting from China, Haiti, Domestic and some Foster-to-Adopt. We are the only family adopting from Korea, though. I'm really trying to spread the word! Anyways, our church has a goal to adopt 100 children before December 2010. This past weekend was #1! A couple adopted a beautiful baby boy via domestic. And another couple is very close to getting their baby as well. They are both through the same agency in Salt Lake. Once their file opens it takes about 2-4 weeks to get their little one!
I think it is so great to have a Pastor that has a heart for Orphans. We've been with our church for over 10 years and I have never seen such a movement to reach out to children like this. I believe there are over 60 couples involved with the Adoption Ministry and are somewhere in the process. Not to mention the many couples that have already adopted and make up an AWESOME support system. I am so thankful.
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