Happy Birthday Judaya!

Even though she has probably already celebrated her birthday, being that Korea is 14 hours ahead of us, we celebrated it today. On our July 1st.

We celebrated with Bulgogi, (Korean BBQ) which I made tonight for dinner. Then brownies.

It's really hard to believe that she's One today and we have just barely sent in our acceptance. When Tootsie was one, we were awaiting our EP approval. Six weeks later we were on a plane to get her.

I thought of Judaya dozens of times in the last day or so. Trying to put together a birthday care package with things that she might like.

There are many things that I am thankful for, even though I am not with her today. She will be celebrating her birthday in her birth country, with her loving Foster parents. She will be more immersed in the culture that we all love. Which will be harder for her to leave, in the end. But I guess a part of me hangs on to the hope that she will retain more of her culture than Joye did.

Celebrating her today felt good. It gives me so much to look forward to.

Will she be home this time next year? No one knows. I hope so, but then I also know that HIS timing is perfect. That is where I rest my trust.

Happy Birthday sweet girl. We love you so very much.

LEGALS! and Baseball

So. . . . . .I guess our acceptance was sent last week, because I got Judaya's legals yesterday! Yay! I knew our acceptance was sent, because my agency told me so. But I didn't know that they already had her legals. I'd like to say that this important piece of the puzzle gets our timeline going, but that would be speaking out of turn. Oh well. I really feel at peace with the whole thing.

Some say that adopting for the second time is the same, but others say it's different. I'm gonna go with different. Everything - every detail has happened TOTALLY different than Joye's adoption. Which is kinda cool. It's kind of like the boys' birth stories. Totally. Different. I LOVE different. And these two little Korean blessings couldn't be any more different. I don't know Judaya yet, but I have a feeling that they are going to be very different. Hoping that Judaya will not be as spicy as Joye. I LOVE my little girls' spunk, but two of them? I feel a headache coming on . . . .

Next Step: Get the immigration fee together and then wait to get fingerprinted. Again.

-------------------

In other news . . . .

We have been dashing to and fro baseball games and practices this summer. What do parents do for an entire summer without baseball? I'm convinced that doesn't exist. And if it did, my oldest would shrivel up and die, just at the thought of no baseball. It's his LIFE.

Abram is in T-Ball this year and his last game is tonight. (A very silent YAY! Please don't tell him!) I love that he loves T-Ball and my heart is so happy that we get to take him to play. But I am really done with dashing, and running and rushing. DONE.

Both boys have different practices at different times, on the same NIGHT. I think I said I liked different, let me retract that statement. Chad and I go separate ways for most of the evening. He takes one and I take the other. That ends tonight, thankfully. (That's why I gave the silent Yay. Ya feel me?!)

Kaleb on the other hand started in the Big Leagues this spring. That's right, I said SPRING. He started mid-April in the 9-10 Cal Ripkin League. Also-known-as Kid Pitch. He LOVES it. And I love that he loves it. He's the one and only catcher on his team, and he's a pretty good one. It's his life. They had a tournament a couple of weeks ago and placed 3rd.

The next day, after the tournament, we learned that he made All-Stars! So now we get to partake in MORE BASEBALL! I can hardly contain my excitement. (Anyone reading the enthusiasm level?!) I am so happy for him, though. He worked really hard for it. He never missed a practice, and gave it his all at every game. He totally deserves it and I cannot be happier. So happy.

In all seriousness, it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for him and all of us. I am so glad that we get to be a part of it. Plus, I don't know what I would do with him if baseball had ended. He already watches it, googles it, talks about it, dreams about it and plays it all day long. What would he do without All-Star practices and scrimmages to keep his mind on baseball? I dunno.

In about two weeks, we will be heading to the opposite side of our state to play in yet-another tournament. Go Panthers! (Hopefully they don't take state, then we head to another state for about a week!) Did I just write that on my Blog? Not me. *wink*

One. Whole. Year.

The day we brought her home.
Last month.

I know she doesn't look like she's changed much, but I assure you, she has.

She came home crawling, now she's running.

She was a whopping 16 pounds in Korea, now she's 22. However, she STILL fits in the same clothes that she came home in. I have to admit, it's easier to carry her in the Beco, being that she's still so tiny. She still loves the Beco, that hasn't changed.

She came home very much a baby, even at 13 months old. Now that she's two, she is doing many things that her toddler counterparts are doing. Like normal two-year-old stuff; tantrums, stomping, fit-throwing, crying at the top of her lungs, you know, regular toddler things.

She came home with MANY sleep issues, now she can fall asleep on her own. In her bed. Without me. (except now as I type, she's wailing in her crib, NOT sleeping - the irony.)

She came home bowing, responding to Dori Dori, and when you said 'sah-rahng-hey-yo' (Korean for 'I love you'), she would put her hands above her head. None of which she responds to now. Sniff, Sniff.

She came home with a deeply-rooted jealous nature toward the boys. They couldn't even come near me. Hugs, kisses, even conversations, would send her into a tornado-tantrum. Now, we see this from time to time, but not at the level it was. Glad that's over.

We were SO in love with our newest addition and yet, so pained by the fact that we took her away from the only 'mother' she knew.

That LOVE has grown so deep, so tangible, so REAL. And she is doing some loving of her own now. I really don't think she knew how to love us at first. How would she? She barely knew us.

She calls out for Chad and I, and prefers us to all others.

I have been reflecting back to a year ago, and it's amazing how far we, and Joye, have come. What a difference. I wouldn't trade this past year for anything in the world.

For the record, it hasn't been rainbows and Popsicle's.

It's been HARD.

But if it wasn't hard, I don't think I would have learned what I needed to learn, forgot what I needed to forget, and loosened the grip on what I held tight.

I am looking forward to many more years with my little Tootsie. (Even though she hasn't been the most delightful little person to be around lately.)

:)

Ummmm......Nevermind!

JUST as I posted that we had Acceptance to Korea, our agency emailed to tell me that our SW hadn't sent our Homestudy to them yet. WHAT?! Wonderful. They also suggested us to contact her (SW) via phone and give her a 'friendly reminder.' Happily!!! So I sent Chad to do the dirty work and she called us back on Sunday. It should be ready this week. So we SHOULD have acceptance to Korea by next week. Either way, things are moving in that direction. It's totally out of our control, there's nothing we can do about any of it. I keep putting it in God's hands. He's the only One who has control anyway, right?

We also heard that Judaya had her eye surgery and that everything went well. It was an out-patient type of deal, but I was still relieved to know that everything went well. She is Joye's size currently, and very close to walking. Judaya will be bigger and Joye will be older. Who would have thought? Interesting, huh?

I'll keep you posted on when the 'official' acceptance is. :)

ATK! A.K.A. Officially Matched!

This past week our acceptance papers made their way to us. Then we notarized them and then realized that the notary expired next month. Yeah, THAT's not gonna work. So we had to have them RE-notarized. *Sigh*

But the GOOD NEWS is that our acceptance is on it's way to KOREA! YAY! So we are now 'officially' matched with our little girl! Next on the docket - care package!

The big question we've been answering is . . . "so . . . when are you looking at bringing her home?"

When we initially got on the list with our agency, we knew things in Korea were slowing down. So when we said "YES!" to our little precious, we knew it was going to be a while before we would get her home. We found out last week that the EP's are filled for this year. Which basically means that we won't have her home for another year, minimum. This wasn't a big surprise to Chad and I. We kind of figured. Miracles still happen, but it's going to take just that - a miracle. So in the mean time, I am enjoying the children I have, and reading up on Toddler Adoption. It will be different from Tootsie's adoption, and I'm not gonna lie, that makes me a little scared but also a little excited.

Those of you who have adopted a toddler in the 2-3 year old range, please share! Joye was 13 months old when she came home and still very much a baby. Judaya (which is the name we have chosen for our little one) will be 2, maybe even 3! Load me up with pointers and things that worked for you and your family. I'm all ears!

Otherwise we are SO GLAD to have our acceptance in, and are on our way to getting the state-side stuff done!

I want to say a heart-felt thank you to our friends and family. You donated $1800 towards our adoption which doubled to $3600! Without you, we would still be waiting to accept. So thank you! Words will never convey how thankful we are!

God. IS. Good.

Happy Birthday Tootsie!

My little Tootsie turns TWO today! Can you believe it?! I can't. We actually had her cupcake party on Saturday, because Mondays are really not a good day to have a party. AND because we have Baseball practice. :) We invited friends and family over to celebrate. She greeted her guests in her adorable Hanbok that Foster Mom gifted us with.

Last year, we missed her first birthday, and I kept catching myself putting just one candle out for her cupcake. In my mind she's only one still. But no, she's really two.

It's been a while since I have updated our progress, so I thought her birthday post would be a great way to play catch-up.

She's sleeping in her own bed now! That's the biggest news of the day. She slept with Chad and I for a good 10 months and we (I) finally decided that she was ready. However, she is still in our bedroom. Which is OK. She needs to know that we are still near, and we all get better sleep this way. She still fights sleep and although it's still incredibly frustrating for me, it is getting better. There has been MAJOR progress in this area, and I remind myself of that daily.

Her language is exploding and she's talking and communicating more. There are still times when I am confused as to what she wants and it ends with a tantrum. But overall, it's MUCH better.

She plays with dolls more, and loves to cook with her pots and pans when I am cooking. She's more lovable and secure. She plays more independently and has less fits. She has grown incredibly attached to both of her brothers and is more affectionate to them.

Many of you are probably wondering about Sister. We are working on getting our Acceptance together and our money in. Until that happens, our timeline to bring her home doesn't begin. So we are getting close!

Anyway . . . Happy Birthday to my sweet Joye!

Getting there . . .

I just wanted to update you all on our progress to getting little sister home. STILL don't have Acceptance to Korea yet, but we are getting closer. This past week we have mailed out letters to our friends and family asking them to help in any way possible. Last Tuesday, Lifesong called and granted us a covenant loan for $4000 and a matching grant for $3500. Woooohooooo! We are THAT much closer to getting the funds to send our paperwork to Korea!!!

THEN, I got an email today saying that we have been granted $2000. This was totally unexpected that literally fell out of the sky. I'm not kidding. I knew if we were obedient, that God would provide, He always does.

Here is the letter we sent out, just in case you were not blessed to receive one. ;) Only kidding.

Hoping this letter finds you enjoying the New Year! Sorry we didn't get Christmas cards out this year. It was a busy ending to a busy year. Speaking of busy, our lives are going to get a little busier. As most of you know, we brought home Joye last June from South Korea. We have enjoyed her so much and she is such a blessing to our lives. After bringing her home, the Lord began to stir up thoughts of adopting again. We rationalized and talked, prayed and doubted. After we finalized in court with Joye, we finally bit the bullet and signed on with our agency, again. We were told to expect a 3+ year wait. Well, Our Heavenly Father had other plans.

We told our agency that we would accept a child that had special considerations. After many emails, phone calls between our agency and us, there is now a little girl in Korea that is waiting to become a part of our family. It’s a leap of faith. It's super crazy, but we know that this is what God has intended for our family.

The biggest mountain that we are facing is the finances to get her home, about $20,000+. We KNOW that God will provide. He provided every penny for Joye's adoption. However we had two years of praying and waiting. We don't have that long with little sister. She turns a year old on July 1, and we want to get her home as soon as possible.

So we will just get to the point . . . We have partnered with an organization, LifeSong, that helps out adoptive families financially. We have received a generous Covenant Loan for $4,000 and a matching grant worth $3,500. Please pray about giving to our fund. I am not asking for money. I am asking that you search for His Holy Spirit and genuinely ask about partnering with us and LifeSong, to help us bring home a little girl that needs a loving family. Everything that you give will be matched dollar-for-dollar. Whatever you felt led to give, will be more than we have right now. I know that many have fallen on hard times, and I am in no way discounting that, Chad and I felt led to just ask, and see how God mightily moves our gigantic mountain.

Chad and I have been called to adopt, and by stepping out in obedience, we know that God will meet us. If you can't give, please know that we understand, and we ask that you would consider praying for us and our new little one. Prayer is just as important, if not more important than money. You praying for us is a huge help and we appreciate every one.

Please send your donations to:

Lifesong for Orphans

P.O. Box 40 / 202 N. Ford St.

Gridley, IL 61744

Be sure to put Baxter/#1901 in the memo line to reference it to the right account. Thank you!

May God richly bless you all!

I have omitted her name (for the blog), but have added that you can also pay through Paypal. You can do that here. Just make sure you enter in our name and account #.

Thanks again!

Kinda Wordless Wednesday

Fake smile.

Fake Smile.

There's the real one.

Is it just me, or does this girl have natural beauty? We're gonna have to keep her locked up during her high school years. ;)

She was coming near me (while talking) because she wanted to see the pictures. Far cry from the 'camera scrunch' she has had in the months prior.

새해 복 많이 받으세요!!!!

새해 복 많이 받으세요(saehae bok man-hi ba-deu saeyo) or for us Westerners - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Today is Seolnal or Korean New Year. It's also Chinese New Year, Mongolian New Year, Tibetan New Year and . . . you get the picture.

I can't help but wonder what Tootsie was doing this time last year. Obviously celebrating the New Year with her Foster Parents, but what were the actual activities that she witnessed and took part in? Did she wear her Hanbok? Did she get money? I bet they had the traditional meals. How different her two worlds are today.

We will be doing our own celebrating tonight. No hanboks, no money. But we will have a Korean dish for dinner that I just happened to have on-hand. Beef with noodles. Korean noodles. We will be thinking of Tootsie's beautiful birth country. The people that we have fallen in love with. Wondering what our New Year will look like next year when we celebrate Seolnal.

So HAPPY NEW YEAR, from our American-Korean family to yours!

새해 복 많이 받으세요(saehae bok man-hi ba-deu saeyo)

Radical Craziness

What I didn't disclose in my last post, as to why I haven't been posting much, is that right after Joye's finalization we felt called to adopt again. We rationalized, prayed and tried to talk ourselves right out of it. We just brought Joye home and were dealing with bonding, tantrums, boundary setting, tantrums, sleeping issues, tantrums. You get the idea, and the place we found ourselves.

Since November, I have been in contact with our agency. For various reasons. Stuff to get Joye's Birth Certificate, and loose ends to close her case. Among those conversations, we asked how long the wait was for another little girl. We were told to expect 2.5-3 years. Ok. Well, if we got on the list now, then once our other little bundle arrived, we would be nice and prepared. So we got on the list.

Wait . . . there's more. Hang with me.

We (our agency and I) have had subsequent conversations since then. One in particular referenced a little girl that had some background information that could invoke some potential problems later on. (You catch my drift)

When God placed adoption on our hearts again, he also mentioned that minor special needs is something that we need to be open to. Really? So we filled out our little sheet of what we would accept, leaving it all open. (i know, crazy. right?)

So back to this little girl. We inquired about her from an email, and there was a list of families wanting to view her file. So I thought "oh, well, she will be placed. She's not meant for our family." Or so I thought.

A couple weeks later, our agency called asking if we wanted our post-placement retainage to be cut to us, or to just minus it off the fees due for the next adoption. We chose just to have it go towards the next adoption. She then mentioned that the little girl we had inquired about still hadn't been placed. My heart sank. My stomach flipped over. "Are you still interested in taking a look at her file?" she asked.

After a weekend of prayer, and much peace, we are adding this adorable little girl to our family. That's right. You might want to read it again, to let it sink in. Radical. Craziness.

We have not. one. dime. saved. All the assignment fees are due NOW. Our homestudy has to updated, fingerprints re-done, paperwork galore. I can't share her picture, tell much about her, because we haven't sent our acceptance to Korea yet. All the above HAS to be done before that. I just wanted to keep you all updated and ask for your prayers. The girls (oh ,wow, that sounds weird - GIRLS) will be 14 months apart. Yikes!

Like I said, we have total peace about this. We know He will provide the money. We know His timing is perfect. We know that He is in all of this. It makes absolutely NO sense. But what does when you are following Him? Right? Everything points to this being right for our family.

Radical.


Craziness.

So if you find yourself thinking of us. Would you do us a favor? PRAY. Pray that all the balls that are now in the air, will fall into place, so we can get this little precious peanut home to her forever family.

Thank you. We appreciate every one.

Where'd you go?

I totally forgot I had a blog! I had a feeling that something vital was missing, but just couldn't quite put my finger on it! (Just kidding)

I have had every intention of updating, but just couldn't find the time.

Wow, what a break!

Many things have happened since we last chatted.

Abram turned 6. We spent the day (Dec. 1) out and about just doing everything he wanted to do on his special day.

Kaleb turned 9. I know, I can't believe he's going to be a decade-old next year. I have to purposely block out that he's more than half-way to his drivers license. Yikes. *Blocking it OUT!* We spent the day (Dec. 27) out and about doing what he wanted to do for his special day which was watching the new Narnia. FAVORITE! It's my favorite-by far. It's going to be hard to top that one!

Tootsie had her first Christmas. She LOVED it all. Loved the presents. Loved the attention. Loved the busyness of it all.

We went through puppy training . . . with Tootsie. She had a bad habit of throwing temper tantrums at the drop of a dime. So we had a couple rough months, being consistent with her on what was allowed and what wasn't. Did I mention it was rough? Well it was. Really. Rough. Whew. But the cloud has lifted (for the most part) and we are back on track.

We've gone back and forth with the sleeping thing. Have good weeks, bad days. She's still learning to trust. Getting more comfortable. Laughing more. Talking a bit more. Communicating more.

We had our last post-placement visit. It was really good to get that done and to answer some lingering questions. Get some positive feedback. I want to reiterate - I LOVE OUR SOCIAL WORKER. She's awesome.

Joye's Birth Certificate is on it's way. Like blogging I slacked MAJORLY on that, and now I'm scrambling to get it here so I can get her SS card so we can get our taxes done. That's a mouth-full.

Well, I better start on supper. I am going to try my hardest to keep up and get back to blogging. Be patient with me, it's on the bottom of my long list of to-do's. I'm sure there are many that can relate. :)

Journey to Joye Montage

Adoption Truth #1

In light of National Adoption Awareness Month, I felt led to share how adoption has touched our lives and correct some misconceptions. I really don't know how many "truth's" I plan to do this month, but this one has been lain (very heavily) upon my heart and I would like to get rid of it, so to speak.

I don't believe that everyone is called to adopt. There are some that are meant to adopt, and some that are meant to pray for those who adopt and some are meant to financially support or help those that are called to adopt. All are beautiful.

I feel many are called to adopt, but discount that calling. Many things can pop up and steal the faith that it takes to start the process. One of those things is . . . the money. Everyone needs money. You have to have it to survive. Some people have a lot of it and some don't have enough. One lie that most believe is that only those who have a lot of money can adopt. NOT TRUE. Does it take a lot of money to adopt? It can. Depends on where you adopt from.

Now, I know nothing about people's circumstances. All I know is our circumstances went against the "only the rich can adopt" theory. We are self employed and live a VERY simple life. We didn't have the money laying around to start Joye's adoption. In fact, we put the first fees on our credit card. Which was about $4,000. Was that smart? Not entirely. Our CC company hiked the fees and made it really hard to pay back. However, I can say with certainty that we no longer have that Credit Card and that it was paid off. Not sure how though, I don't remember. (I am not advocating going into debt to pay for an adoption - just stating our journey and how it all worked out.) We then opened up a savings account and got to work praying daily for God's Mighty provision. We did a few fundraisers. Raised about $4,000 and were touched so deeply by our community who helped out A LOT. Where did the rest come from? I have no idea. Our savings account just kept growing and growing and growing. When we received the phone call that changed our lives forever, all the money was in there to accept Joye's referral. Actually, we had a whopping $.69 left over.

Then we were wondering if we could afford to go to Korea. All we had was $.69! Again, by the time we were ready to travel, we had saved enough to go and pick up our baby girl. To recall, I really don't know where the money came from. I know we saved here and there, used a tax return or two, but does it make ANY sense that we (we didn't; HE did) had accumulated $20,000+ in a little over a year? Not one iota.

But God.

He knew.

He knew, right down to the nickels and dimes.

I know that if you step out in faith and trust Him, he will provide. I know it!

So that is my Truth for today. If God calls you to adopt, trust that He will provide EVERYTHING you need to get you through. Because He will. I promise. If you read any of the Gospels you will see how enamored Jesus is with the act faith. It's the only thing that shocks him! The Bible says "you cannot serve two masters . . . you cannot love both God and money." (Matt. 6:24) Who are you going to believe and love more? I LOVE the verse that is just a few above, which I think is eloquently placed together with the money verse, "store up your treasures in heaven" Matt. 6:20. You can't take money with you to heaven, it's no good there. But you can take some beautiful children. Amen?

FINALIZED!!

In case you blow up the picture, yes, my neck is red. I was really nervous with the third-degree questioning I received about being Joye's forever mom. (Not really, but he did ask some really weird questions, none that I expected, but legit.) My neck gets red when I get nervous and I HATE it! Just so you know. :)

Chad "swearing" to take good care of Joye.

"Our Day" in court.

The three Amigos.

Kaleb and Tootsie.

We were scheduled for Finalization on Friday. I got a call yesterday that there was a "conflict" and that they had an opening for today at 4:30 or we could possibly reschedule for next week. Since they had an opening, we took the 4:30! Sooooo, it's official! She's ours! Forever!

Today, she also turns 18 months AND it was this day a year ago that we formally accepted!!! How cool is THAT!?

Speaking of official, she has officially started walking and chooses that mode of transportation about 85% of the time. It's really cute to see her walk. The last two days she just decided that it was time!

See the pic of her and I? Cute, right? Well, she and I didn't get along today. At. All. It took me THREE HOURS to feed her breakfast. It was oatmeal, for crying out LOUD! I have fed her oatmeal for the past 2-3 weeks. Loves oatmeal. Never a problem. She woke up yesterday morning ready to rumble in the eating department. And rumble we did. Same thing for lunch. She sits with a mouth full of food and won't swallow! She will, when she darn-well feels like it! Seriously! She's sat up to 30 minutes with a bite STILL in her mouth. One thing that she knows only SHE can control, I guess. Highly frustrating - to say the least. Like I have time to sit around in the kitchen for three hours! I think her appetite has shrunk, so for the meantime, I think I will feed her when she shows signs of being hungry. I honestly do NOT have the slightest idea of what is going on in her little noggin. It's a battle, that's all I know. One of many in the career of parenting, I'm afraid. So we look like buds for the camera, but it's a facade. Hate to say it, but oh-so-true.

Love her to death, my little Tootsie, but the terrible two's have came earlier than expected. Oy.

Referral-versary!!!!!

It's been one whole year since I saw this sweet face for the first time. Can you believe it?!! I sure can't. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was surprised and shocked, and totally ready to begin the wait to bring her home. We studied her picture for countless hours. (she still, to this day, does the confused eye brow look when you bust out a camera!) That's my baby!
Seeing her face for the first time in my email was intoxicating! The sad part was is that I couldn't wait for Chad to open it up with me! I told him that I would wait but, he told me to go ahead. I tried sending it to his phone but no avail. I was the first to see her. Then the boys. They were excited and proud to finally be big brothers.

We went over her file with a fine-toothed comb when Chad came home from work that night. We fell in love with her immediately. Hook. Line. And Sinker.

There was a little part to her background that made us worry a bit. Nothing big. Nothing alarming, but we did wonder. What if? We talked about that 'blip' many times over the night and throughout the weekend. Satan really dug in his heals and made us fear. He tried to make us give up on her. But we couldn't. We couldn't let her go. She was ours.

So we took a leap of faith, and accepted Monday morning. It was done, she was ours and we prayed endlessly that the 'blip' would be non-existent. So far, we have yet to see any implications of the 'blip.' Not one.

It helped us to realize how faithful God is, and how grateful we are that we took that leap. She was meant to be in our family. From the beginning, she was meant to be ours. May the glory be to God, because He is the only one who is responsible.

One year. How time flies . . .

Final Finalization and Molars

WOW. It has been a looonnnggg time since I posted. I wish I could say that something MAJOR has kept me from blogging, but truthfully, nothing really has. Time has just flown by, as usual.

First things first, we got our Finalization date! Almost a year to the day that we sent our acceptance to AAC! It's Friday, November 5th! YAY! I really didn't look at this date, in the beginning of the process, as something special. I guess I just had my 'eye on the prize' of just getting her home. Now, I really view it differently. It's the end and a beginning. It's the end of the process, paperwork and the end of waiting. It's the beginning of her life with us. Her name will legally change, and she is all ours! She's been ours and has been with us for four months, but it will be legal and final. We will still need to get her a passport, and Certificate of Citizenship, but the 'adoption' part is pretty much over, come November 5th. Yipeeeeee!

In the last two Progress Reports, I have put that Joye is teething, but no physical evidence has erupted yet. (I wonder if they actually believe me that she is actually teething) Well, I am happy to report that those nasty molars have finally made their way to the top. Although we haven't seen the white's of their pearly being, they are almost through the gum. However, we have three more to go. Just the lower right has made it's way home. I am so looking forward to more fevers and clingy-ness for the next three. Not really.

We also celebrated Joye turning 17 months old (on the 2nd of October) in my blogging absence, AND being home for 16 weeks. Our four-month mark will be on the 16th of October. Can't believe it.

I have also been working on our "Journey to Joye" video and taking recent pictures for that. It's been fun to see the pictures of us first together and the pictures of us now. I will *hopefully* have that done soon, but no promises.

We've had progress in the walking department! Joye has taken 11 steps to date, and is getting stronger and more stable. She still has days where she crawls the majority of the day, and walks a few steps. But then there are days when she tries and tries and tries and gets herself all worn out. LOVE IT! She's sleeps better on those days. :)

She's getting more verbal and expressive with her words and we see the 'wheels turning' all the time. Her progress is more visible each day.

There are days when she thinks that she's in charge and that we are all here to serve her. Those are the fun days. Then there are days when she is just sweet as pie. I seemed to have forgotten the wonderful seasons of Toddler-hood. Or maybe I just blocked them out. I can't recall what happened to those blessed memories. :)

Otherwise we have just been hanging out, doing school and enjoying the nice fall weather. Buckling down for the ever-present existence of winter approaching. Yuck.

Tootsie's Progress (and more)

This past week we celebrated being home for three months. YAY! We also sent in our second Progress Report and our $$ to begin the Finalization process. In the County we live in you don't have to have all three Progress Reports in to finalize, in case some were wondering. We should get a call with our Finalization date soon. Yay for THAT! It's just a piece of paper, which says what we already know - Joye is ours forever.




There is also something that I have been wanting to share for a while now, but haven't had the time. We are making BIG progress with the sleeping issue. Let me give you a little background first:

When we first brought Joye home, I was planning to parent just like I parented the boys. Same rules, same expectations. Although I had read MANY books on adoption and what to expect, I still had it in my mind that it all was the same. Relatively. I mean, I didn't expect her to be left with a stranger and be ok. I knew and planned for adoption-related issues and was planning on dealing with them as they arrived.

One thing I did NOT plan on was sleeping issues. I don't know why, I just never thought much about it. (I must have skipped that chapter in the books ;) I expected sleeping problems for the first month, when we were getting used to her and to allow for Jetlag. By month two, I was stumped and frustrated. "Sleeping and getting tired are an INSTINCT, like hunger and the ability to fill a diaper!" I told myself and others. What is the big deal?!
I was expecting her to be independent, fall asleep on her own, and be able to be secure when I wasn't in the room. Just like the boys were at 15-16 months of age. The boys didn't go through the loss that Joye has, and I began to realize other specific things that helped me be more compassionate.

I bought a book while we were waiting, "Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child" by Patty Cogen. I briefed through it and read a chapter here and there. I found it incredibly depressing at times. I put it down and decided that it wasn't positive enough, and my daughter was going to different than the child/children that she describes in the book. (To some point I still believe this, some of the material is pretty bleak, but the majority of it is very helpful)

After I fought Joye to sleep for an hour-and-a-half one night, I decided to crack it open. Turned right to the chapter about sleep. My eyes were opened. The reason why she cried 15 minutes after I put her down, was because she wanted to be near me and was getting attached to me. Never thought about that.

It's apparent that she had sleep issues in Korea, as well. She had NO nap and went to bed at 11pm and woke at 8am. FM said that she didn't like to go to sleep. I also think that she dreams about FM and Korea too. This is where she grieved.

"She needs to self-soothe!" I would tell myself. Then I read the chapter on self-soothing. After reading, I found that Joye didn't know how to self-soothe. She needed help to know what were good pre-bedtime habits and what were not. Pulling hair - NOT a good habit. Pinching herself - NOT a good habit.
I was told that Joye DID NOT accept "fake nipples" or pacifiers. However, I have picture from Korea with one in her mouth. ???? I never got a pacifier from FM. If it was vital, I KNOW FM would have given it to us. I think maybe she had one, and then weaned herself off and then maybe regressed a little when she came home. I don't know, just guessin'.

After she fell asleep (which took a while), she had the suckle thing going on. Well, she fell asleep with bottles in Korea, which I eliminated shortly after arriving home. Because once they were gone and out of her mouth, she would wake, FLIP OUT and scream because it was gone. It was making the sleep thing WAY WORSE.

I took all these pieces of the sleep puzzle and started putting them together.

For the record, I was adamantly opposed to introducing a pacifier at 16 months of age (before I read Cogen's chapter on self-soothing, and realized that she *might* have had one in Korea). I would have NEVER introduced a paci to the boys at 16 months! Neither of the boys had paci's past 12 months. Because they didn't NEED them. Joye needed something to help comfort her and put a different spin on falling to sleep.

So I relented, and busted a puggy out of the archives. Let's see what happens?

I *showed* her the pacifier and she pointed to it and went "uh, uh, uh!" She knew exactly what it was and wanted it REALLY bad. Ever since, we have absolutely NO problems going to sleep. I followed Cogen's advice and give it to her when we start the pre-sleep process. No fighting, no crying, just peaceful drift into restful sleep. !!!!!

She wakes up fewer times in the night (hardly ever). Rarely wakes from her naps and is sleeping 1.5 hours almost everyday! It's like a magic button! When she wakes, she hands it to me as if to say "here, take it, I'm done, for now."


The purpose of this post was to remind myself that sometimes I have to be more open-minded as a parent and as a person. I want to do what is best for Joye. If she needs a pacifier, then she needs one. Right now she needs A LOT. And I am totally ok with that. My expectations are more aligned with what is best for Joye and what she needs right now. I'm finding that parenting her is pretty different from when the boys were her age. But then the boys were (and still are) very different from each other and parenting them is still different.

Having Joye has been a wonderful experience for me. I have learned SO much from her. She's made me a better mom (not meant to be a compliment to myself, just that I have had to think outside 'the box' and it's been good for me).

Another thing is that we have been home for only 3 months! A lot of progress has been made in this short time! Our Heavenly Father has taught me a lot about finding the good in the trials. As hard as it is to look past the bad, it's really encouraging to see the good.

- - - - - - - -
In other news . . .

Tootsie started standing, from a squat in the middle of the room, for the first time today! She will be walking VERY soon. Yikes! I'm not sure I'm ready for this! Batten down the hatch!

She caught her first cold, and the poor little thing is a trooper. Not much seems to get her down. That and she has the tiniest little nose on the planet! Where does all the green gooey stuff come from? (Probably TMI)

She can say "poo poo" which is our nickname for the dog.

She says "ow" for when she gets hurt, but says it when she's not.

She says "uh-oh" when something falls or drops.

"da da" for belly button.

When I hand her the prune juice bottle every morning she says "deet, deet" for thank you. Doesn't say it again until the next morning when I give her the same bottle.

When I look at her picture that we got from Korea, before we went to get her, I see a different baby. Even the pictures of us together as a family for the first time. She has changed SO much. Some good, some bad. The good is that she's growing like a weed and doing more things. The bad is that I feel her culture, language and a part of her is leaving. As she adapts to America, I feel less of Korea. It breaks my heart. It's inevitable, I guess. But it still makes me sad.

16 months!

Would you believe me if I told you that our baby girl will be 18 months is just another two months?

Where did the time go?I see more and more of her sweet personality every day. We're coming up on being home for three months, soon, and I can't believe it's been that long. Like I said in her 15-month-old-post, sometimes it seems like she's been here longer than just three months.


Things that are new; well relatively new as we go into her 16th month of life.

- The sippy is her new friend. We had a hard time adjusting her to the sippy and now she LOVES it. She still has a small bottle of formula at night and then a bottle full of prune juice/water in the morning. She just needs that bottle time still. It soothes her soul.

- I saw her putting big lego's together and so I busted out a block bin (that I put away when the boys got tired of them) and she plays with those blocks all. day. long. She can already stack them!

- Sleep is getting better. She sleeps harder at night and doesn't wake up as often during her nap. It's just getting her to sleep that's hard. Working on that still. That's a whole 'nother post.
-She can say "dog" and now knows the difference between the dog and the cats. In her defense, Sadie is a Yorkie and does kinda resemble that of a cat. KINDA.

-She's not as needy, but still has needy moments.

-She goes to family members easier.

-She knows what a snake says. (Working on other animals because snakes are creepy) When you say "what does the snake say?" She will put her little tongue against her front teeth and make THE CUTEST "sssssssssss" sound. It's extremely adorable. Picked that up in about a minute. (So why doesn't she get the sleep thing, you ask? GREAT question!)

-She and Abram play really well together. Every morning when Kaleb and I are getting his heavy-duty 4th grade stuff done, Joye and Abram play. It's really cute. He has grown to love his little sister SO much. He loves on her and kisses her and tells her he loves her the whole time. My heart just melts.
-She cuddles more. She gets more satisfaction from me and I see her settling "into" me more. She's always been lovable and snuggly, but I see more of that as time goes on.

-She still isn't walking, but I am confident that she won't be 5 and not walking. She'll learn it and do it in her own time and we are not forcing it right now. (For the record, she totally could walk, she just doesn't know it yet. She's very stable, has her balance, she just doesn't have the whole mobile balance yet.)

-She's a pleaser. She listens VERY well and knows what she's allowed to touch/do and not allowed to touch/do. She's a really good girl. (it took time to get here, but she realizes who's boss now. YAY for that!)

-She giggles more. It's really cute*. (*I'm pretty sure I have used that phrase many times)

-She loves to play, explore, find new things, pretend to cook, put lids on things, wrestle, dance to music, throw the ball for the boys, laugh at herself, EAT and mimic the dog and everyone else.

Her name fits her. She brings so much joy to everyone she's around.

Happy Sixteen Months Baby Girl!!!! We LOVE you!

Wordless Wednesday {Working with Daddy}

{He's MY Daddy, just so you know. That way there's no confusion - on your part. *glare* See the awesome pen that he gave me?}

{I'm helping, right Daddy?}

{Of course! I couldn't do an Estimate without YOU!}

{Let me make sure that this blue stuff is ALL OVER both of my hands!}

Catch-up

I guess it might be time for a post. Since it's been forever.

Last time I left you, our loving Social Worker was coming over for our first visit. It was GREAT. She is an awesome person to talk to and I feel like she totally understood everything. Our main topic of conversation was getting Joye to NOT scream before naps and bedtime. What could it possibly be? Why is she doing this? I then explained our troubles and she said that what I was doing, was the best fit for the situation. Whew! Big relief! I felt like an Angel flew into my living room right at that moment.

I had doubt, guilt and low confidence and she restored all of that in one brief hour of talking.

So what am I doing, you ask? Joye is happy about 99% of the time. The 1% is when you are trying to get her to fall asleep. Once she's asleep, she's good. It's getting her there. I've mentioned this before, and it's not new to many of you.

I have found that holding her tight, while rocking her, helps a lot. She fights it, but she fights sleep anyway. I brought this up with SW, and she said that it's exactly what Joye needs. She needs to feel safe and that I am never going away, no matter how much she screams and fights.

To me, it's better than putting her in her crib and letting her scream by herself. Some kids need that, Joye wouldn't do very well. I have tried to let her 'put herself to sleep' or self-soothe and she doesn't do it. THREE HOURS goes by before I have to finally go in and hold her to get her to sleep. She doesn't cry the whole time, she just does EVERYTHING she can to keep herself awake. It's painful - on ME! I would rather hold her and inadvertently 'teach' her to fall asleep. Something I felt was true, but SW confirmed it. I feel horrible sometimes because she fights it SO bad and gets herself worked up, but after she's calm, she wants kisses and drifts off to sleep.

It's really hard, but I see it getting better. I hold her in a loving, calm manner. I Talk to her and tell her how much I love her. We have had the same routine for over two months now, so she knows what nigh-nigh-time is all about. She's just stubborn and doesn't want to be told when to go to bed. I'm pretty sure she was responsible for when she fell asleep on her own in Korea.

All in all, I am SO thankful for our Social Worker and our meeting.

---------

Then we headed to the Big City for a Rockies game and to partake in our agency's Annual Picnic. We LOVED the game and Joye did amazingly well! The game ended at 11:00 p.m. and since she hates the act of being put to sleep, she stayed up for the ENTIRE thing! But getting her to sleep was that much harder once we got back to the Hotel. :(

The next morning, we headed to Berthoud and met all of our agency/blog friends for the first time. It was AWESOME! So glad we made the trip over! We got to see where AAC HQ was and actually meet the people that I have talked on the phone with for the past two years! Then we headed to Chad's Uncle and Aunt's for the night and then headed home the next morning. Joye did great, but she doesn't get excessively cranky when she's SOOOO tired and we are out and about. (At home it's another story.)

--------

This last week we caught up on sleep :) and settled into our normal school routine.

Well I just thought I would let you know that we are indeed alive and doing pretty well. Just living through the up's and down's and trying to be thankful for ALL the moments! ;)