You will fill me with Joy . . .

Happy Birthday Judaya!

2011-07-01T19:11:00.000-07:00

Even though she has probably already celebrated her birthday, being that Korea is 14 hours ahead of us, we celebrated it today. On our July 1st.

We celebrated with Bulgogi, (Korean BBQ) which I made tonight for dinner. Then brownies.

It's really hard to believe that she's One today and we have just barely sent in our acceptance. When Tootsie was one, we were awaiting our EP approval. Six weeks later we were on a plane to get her.

I thought of Judaya dozens of times in the last day or so. Trying to put together a birthday care package with things that she might like.

There are many things that I am thankful for, even though I am not with her today. She will be celebrating her birthday in her birth country, with her loving Foster parents. She will be more immersed in the culture that we all love. Which will be harder for her to leave, in the end. But I guess a part of me hangs on to the hope that she will retain more of her culture than Joye did.

Celebrating her today felt good. It gives me so much to look forward to.

Will she be home this time next year? No one knows. I hope so, but then I also know that HIS timing is perfect. That is where I rest my trust.

Happy Birthday sweet girl. We love you so very much.

LEGALS! and Baseball

2011-06-28T13:26:00.000-07:00

So. . . . . .I guess our acceptance was sent last week, because I got Judaya's legals yesterday! Yay! I knew our acceptance was sent, because my agency told me so. But I didn't know that they already had her legals. I'd like to say that this important piece of the puzzle gets our timeline going, but that would be speaking out of turn. Oh well. I really feel at peace with the whole thing.

Some say that adopting for the second time is the same, but others say it's different. I'm gonna go with different. Everything - every detail has happened TOTALLY different than Joye's adoption. Which is kinda cool. It's kind of like the boys' birth stories. Totally. Different. I LOVE different. And these two little Korean blessings couldn't be any more different. I don't know Judaya yet, but I have a feeling that they are going to be very different. Hoping that Judaya will not be as spicy as Joye. I LOVE my little girls' spunk, but two of them? I feel a headache coming on . . . .

Next Step: Get the immigration fee together and then wait to get fingerprinted. Again.

-------------------

In other news . . . .

We have been dashing to and fro baseball games and practices this summer. What do parents do for an entire summer without baseball? I'm convinced that doesn't exist. And if it did, my oldest would shrivel up and die, just at the thought of no baseball. It's his LIFE.

Abram is in T-Ball this year and his last game is tonight. (A very silent YAY! Please don't tell him!) I love that he loves T-Ball and my heart is so happy that we get to take him to play. But I am really done with dashing, and running and rushing. DONE.

Both boys have different practices at different times, on the same NIGHT. I think I said I liked different, let me retract that statement. Chad and I go separate ways for most of the evening. He takes one and I take the other. That ends tonight, thankfully. (That's why I gave the silent Yay. Ya feel me?!)

Kaleb on the other hand started in the Big Leagues this spring. That's right, I said SPRING. He started mid-April in the 9-10 Cal Ripkin League. Also-known-as Kid Pitch. He LOVES it. And I love that he loves it. He's the one and only catcher on his team, and he's a pretty good one. It's his life. They had a tournament a couple of weeks ago and placed 3rd.

The next day, after the tournament, we learned that he made All-Stars! So now we get to partake in MORE BASEBALL! I can hardly contain my excitement. (Anyone reading the enthusiasm level?!) I am so happy for him, though. He worked really hard for it. He never missed a practice, and gave it his all at every game. He totally deserves it and I cannot be happier. So happy.

In all seriousness, it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for him and all of us. I am so glad that we get to be a part of it. Plus, I don't know what I would do with him if baseball had ended. He already watches it, googles it, talks about it, dreams about it and plays it all day long. What would he do without All-Star practices and scrimmages to keep his mind on baseball? I dunno.

In about two weeks, we will be heading to the opposite side of our state to play in yet-another tournament. Go Panthers! (Hopefully they don't take state, then we head to another state for about a week!) Did I just write that on my Blog? Not me. *wink*

One. Whole. Year.

2011-06-17T12:27:00.000-07:00

The day we brought her home.
Last month.

I know she doesn't look like she's changed much, but I assure you, she has.

She came home crawling, now she's running.

She was a whopping 16 pounds in Korea, now she's 22. However, she STILL fits in the same clothes that she came home in. I have to admit, it's easier to carry her in the Beco, being that she's still so tiny. She still loves the Beco, that hasn't changed.

She came home very much a baby, even at 13 months old. Now that she's two, she is doing many things that her toddler counterparts are doing. Like normal two-year-old stuff; tantrums, stomping, fit-throwing, crying at the top of her lungs, you know, regular toddler things.

She came home with MANY sleep issues, now she can fall asleep on her own. In her bed. Without me. (except now as I type, she's wailing in her crib, NOT sleeping - the irony.)

She came home bowing, responding to Dori Dori, and when you said 'sah-rahng-hey-yo' (Korean for 'I love you'), she would put her hands above her head. None of which she responds to now. Sniff, Sniff.

She came home with a deeply-rooted jealous nature toward the boys. They couldn't even come near me. Hugs, kisses, even conversations, would send her into a tornado-tantrum. Now, we see this from time to time, but not at the level it was. Glad that's over.

We were SO in love with our newest addition and yet, so pained by the fact that we took her away from the only 'mother' she knew.

That LOVE has grown so deep, so tangible, so REAL. And she is doing some loving of her own now. I really don't think she knew how to love us at first. How would she? She barely knew us.

She calls out for Chad and I, and prefers us to all others.

I have been reflecting back to a year ago, and it's amazing how far we, and Joye, have come. What a difference. I wouldn't trade this past year for anything in the world.

For the record, it hasn't been rainbows and Popsicle's.

It's been HARD.

But if it wasn't hard, I don't think I would have learned what I needed to learn, forgot what I needed to forget, and loosened the grip on what I held tight.

I am looking forward to many more years with my little Tootsie. (Even though she hasn't been the most delightful little person to be around lately.)

:)

Ummmm......Nevermind!

2011-05-24T12:02:00.000-07:00

JUST as I posted that we had Acceptance to Korea, our agency emailed to tell me that our SW hadn't sent our Homestudy to them yet. WHAT?! Wonderful. They also suggested us to contact her (SW) via phone and give her a 'friendly reminder.' Happily!!! So I sent Chad to do the dirty work and she called us back on Sunday. It should be ready this week. So we SHOULD have acceptance to Korea by next week. Either way, things are moving in that direction. It's totally out of our control, there's nothing we can do about any of it. I keep putting it in God's hands. He's the only One who has control anyway, right?

We also heard that Judaya had her eye surgery and that everything went well. It was an out-patient type of deal, but I was still relieved to know that everything went well. She is Joye's size currently, and very close to walking. Judaya will be bigger and Joye will be older. Who would have thought? Interesting, huh?

I'll keep you posted on when the 'official' acceptance is. :)

ATK! A.K.A. Officially Matched!

2011-05-15T19:50:00.000-07:00

This past week our acceptance papers made their way to us. Then we notarized them and then realized that the notary expired next month. Yeah, THAT's not gonna work. So we had to have them RE-notarized. *Sigh*

But the GOOD NEWS is that our acceptance is on it's way to KOREA! YAY! So we are now 'officially' matched with our little girl! Next on the docket - care package!

The big question we've been answering is . . . "so . . . when are you looking at bringing her home?"

When we initially got on the list with our agency, we knew things in Korea were slowing down. So when we said "YES!" to our little precious, we knew it was going to be a while before we would get her home. We found out last week that the EP's are filled for this year. Which basically means that we won't have her home for another year, minimum. This wasn't a big surprise to Chad and I. We kind of figured. Miracles still happen, but it's going to take just that - a miracle. So in the mean time, I am enjoying the children I have, and reading up on Toddler Adoption. It will be different from Tootsie's adoption, and I'm not gonna lie, that makes me a little scared but also a little excited.

Those of you who have adopted a toddler in the 2-3 year old range, please share! Joye was 13 months old when she came home and still very much a baby. Judaya (which is the name we have chosen for our little one) will be 2, maybe even 3! Load me up with pointers and things that worked for you and your family. I'm all ears!

Otherwise we are SO GLAD to have our acceptance in, and are on our way to getting the state-side stuff done!

I want to say a heart-felt thank you to our friends and family. You donated $1800 towards our adoption which doubled to $3600! Without you, we would still be waiting to accept. So thank you! Words will never convey how thankful we are!

God. IS. Good.

Happy Birthday Tootsie!

2011-05-02T11:30:00.001-07:00

My little Tootsie turns TWO today! Can you believe it?! I can't. We actually had her cupcake party on Saturday, because Mondays are really not a good day to have a party. AND because we have Baseball practice. :) We invited friends and family over to celebrate. She greeted her guests in her adorable Hanbok that Foster Mom gifted us with.

Last year, we missed her first birthday, and I kept catching myself putting just one candle out for her cupcake. In my mind she's only one still. But no, she's really two.

It's been a while since I have updated our progress, so I thought her birthday post would be a great way to play catch-up.

She's sleeping in her own bed now! That's the biggest news of the day. She slept with Chad and I for a good 10 months and we (I) finally decided that she was ready. However, she is still in our bedroom. Which is OK. She needs to know that we are still near, and we all get better sleep this way. She still fights sleep and although it's still incredibly frustrating for me, it is getting better. There has been MAJOR progress in this area, and I remind myself of that daily.

Her language is exploding and she's talking and communicating more. There are still times when I am confused as to what she wants and it ends with a tantrum. But overall, it's MUCH better.

She plays with dolls more, and loves to cook with her pots and pans when I am cooking. She's more lovable and secure. She plays more independently and has less fits. She has grown incredibly attached to both of her brothers and is more affectionate to them.

Many of you are probably wondering about Sister. We are working on getting our Acceptance together and our money in. Until that happens, our timeline to bring her home doesn't begin. So we are getting close!

Anyway . . . Happy Birthday to my sweet Joye!

Getting there . . .

2011-03-09T16:13:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to update you all on our progress to getting little sister home. STILL don't have Acceptance to Korea yet, but we are getting closer. This past week we have mailed out letters to our friends and family asking them to help in any way possible. Last Tuesday, Lifesong called and granted us a covenant loan for $4000 and a matching grant for $3500. Woooohooooo! We are THAT much closer to getting the funds to send our paperwork to Korea!!!

THEN, I got an email today saying that we have been granted $2000. This was totally unexpected that literally fell out of the sky. I'm not kidding. I knew if we were obedient, that God would provide, He always does.

Here is the letter we sent out, just in case you were not blessed to receive one. ;) Only kidding.

Hoping this letter finds you enjoying the New Year! Sorry we didn't get Christmas cards out this year. It was a busy ending to a busy year. Speaking of busy, our lives are going to get a little busier. As most of you know, we brought home Joye last June from South Korea. We have enjoyed her so much and she is such a blessing to our lives. After bringing her home, the Lord began to stir up thoughts of adopting again. We rationalized and talked, prayed and doubted. After we finalized in court with Joye, we finally bit the bullet and signed on with our agency, again. We were told to expect a 3+ year wait. Well, Our Heavenly Father had other plans.

We told our agency that we would accept a child that had special considerations. After many emails, phone calls between our agency and us, there is now a little girl in Korea that is waiting to become a part of our family. It’s a leap of faith. It's super crazy, but we know that this is what God has intended for our family.

The biggest mountain that we are facing is the finances to get her home, about $20,000+. We KNOW that God will provide. He provided every penny for Joye's adoption. However we had two years of praying and waiting. We don't have that long with little sister. She turns a year old on July 1, and we want to get her home as soon as possible.

So we will just get to the point . . . We have partnered with an organization, LifeSong, that helps out adoptive families financially. We have received a generous Covenant Loan for $4,000 and a matching grant worth $3,500. Please pray about giving to our fund. I am not asking for money. I am asking that you search for His Holy Spirit and genuinely ask about partnering with us and LifeSong, to help us bring home a little girl that needs a loving family. Everything that you give will be matched dollar-for-dollar. Whatever you felt led to give, will be more than we have right now. I know that many have fallen on hard times, and I am in no way discounting that, Chad and I felt led to just ask, and see how God mightily moves our gigantic mountain.

Chad and I have been called to adopt, and by stepping out in obedience, we know that God will meet us. If you can't give, please know that we understand, and we ask that you would consider praying for us and our new little one. Prayer is just as important, if not more important than money. You praying for us is a huge help and we appreciate every one.

Please send your donations to:

Lifesong for Orphans

P.O. Box 40 / 202 N. Ford St.

Gridley, IL 61744

Be sure to put Baxter/#1901 in the memo line to reference it to the right account. Thank you!

May God richly bless you all!

I have omitted her name (for the blog), but have added that you can also pay through Paypal. You can do that here. Just make sure you enter in our name and account #.

Thanks again!

Kinda Wordless Wednesday

2011-02-16T14:59:00.000-08:00

Fake smile.

Fake Smile.

There's the real one.

Is it just me, or does this girl have natural beauty? We're gonna have to keep her locked up during her high school years. ;)

She was coming near me (while talking) because she wanted to see the pictures. Far cry from the 'camera scrunch' she has had in the months prior.

새해 복 많이 받으세요!!!!

2011-02-03T13:51:00.000-08:00

새해 복 많이 받으세요(saehae bok man-hi ba-deu saeyo) or for us Westerners - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Today is Seolnal or Korean New Year. It's also Chinese New Year, Mongolian New Year, Tibetan New Year and . . . you get the picture.

I can't help but wonder what Tootsie was doing this time last year. Obviously celebrating the New Year with her Foster Parents, but what were the actual activities that she witnessed and took part in? Did she wear her Hanbok? Did she get money? I bet they had the traditional meals. How different her two worlds are today.

We will be doing our own celebrating tonight. No hanboks, no money. But we will have a Korean dish for dinner that I just happened to have on-hand. Beef with noodles. Korean noodles. We will be thinking of Tootsie's beautiful birth country. The people that we have fallen in love with. Wondering what our New Year will look like next year when we celebrate Seolnal.

So HAPPY NEW YEAR, from our American-Korean family to yours!

새해 복 많이 받으세요(saehae bok man-hi ba-deu saeyo)

Radical Craziness

2011-01-28T08:50:00.000-08:00

What I didn't disclose in my last post, as to why I haven't been posting much, is that right after Joye's finalization we felt called to adopt again. We rationalized, prayed and tried to talk ourselves right out of it. We just brought Joye home and were dealing with bonding, tantrums, boundary setting, tantrums, sleeping issues, tantrums. You get the idea, and the place we found ourselves.

Since November, I have been in contact with our agency. For various reasons. Stuff to get Joye's Birth Certificate, and loose ends to close her case. Among those conversations, we asked how long the wait was for another little girl. We were told to expect 2.5-3 years. Ok. Well, if we got on the list now, then once our other little bundle arrived, we would be nice and prepared. So we got on the list.

Wait . . . there's more. Hang with me.

We (our agency and I) have had subsequent conversations since then. One in particular referenced a little girl that had some background information that could invoke some potential problems later on. (You catch my drift)

When God placed adoption on our hearts again, he also mentioned that minor special needs is something that we need to be open to. Really? So we filled out our little sheet of what we would accept, leaving it all open. (i know, crazy. right?)

So back to this little girl. We inquired about her from an email, and there was a list of families wanting to view her file. So I thought "oh, well, she will be placed. She's not meant for our family." Or so I thought.

A couple weeks later, our agency called asking if we wanted our post-placement retainage to be cut to us, or to just minus it off the fees due for the next adoption. We chose just to have it go towards the next adoption. She then mentioned that the little girl we had inquired about still hadn't been placed. My heart sank. My stomach flipped over. "Are you still interested in taking a look at her file?" she asked.

After a weekend of prayer, and much peace, we are adding this adorable little girl to our family. That's right. You might want to read it again, to let it sink in. Radical. Craziness.

We have not. one. dime. saved. All the assignment fees are due NOW. Our homestudy has to updated, fingerprints re-done, paperwork galore. I can't share her picture, tell much about her, because we haven't sent our acceptance to Korea yet. All the above HAS to be done before that. I just wanted to keep you all updated and ask for your prayers. The girls (oh ,wow, that sounds weird - GIRLS) will be 14 months apart. Yikes!

Like I said, we have total peace about this. We know He will provide the money. We know His timing is perfect. We know that He is in all of this. It makes absolutely NO sense. But what does when you are following Him? Right? Everything points to this being right for our family.

Radical.

Craziness.

So if you find yourself thinking of us. Would you do us a favor? PRAY. Pray that all the balls that are now in the air, will fall into place, so we can get this little precious peanut home to her forever family.

Thank you. We appreciate every one.

Where'd you go?

2011-01-18T14:52:00.000-08:00

I totally forgot I had a blog! I had a feeling that something vital was missing, but just couldn't quite put my finger on it! (Just kidding)

I have had every intention of updating, but just couldn't find the time.

Wow, what a break!

Many things have happened since we last chatted.

Abram turned 6. We spent the day (Dec. 1) out and about just doing everything he wanted to do on his special day.

Kaleb turned 9. I know, I can't believe he's going to be a decade-old next year. I have to purposely block out that he's more than half-way to his drivers license. Yikes. *Blocking it OUT!* We spent the day (Dec. 27) out and about doing what he wanted to do for his special day which was watching the new Narnia. FAVORITE! It's my favorite-by far. It's going to be hard to top that one!

Tootsie had her first Christmas. She LOVED it all. Loved the presents. Loved the attention. Loved the busyness of it all.

We went through puppy training . . . with Tootsie. She had a bad habit of throwing temper tantrums at the drop of a dime. So we had a couple rough months, being consistent with her on what was allowed and what wasn't. Did I mention it was rough? Well it was. Really. Rough. Whew. But the cloud has lifted (for the most part) and we are back on track.

We've gone back and forth with the sleeping thing. Have good weeks, bad days. She's still learning to trust. Getting more comfortable. Laughing more. Talking a bit more. Communicating more.

We had our last post-placement visit. It was really good to get that done and to answer some lingering questions. Get some positive feedback. I want to reiterate - I LOVE OUR SOCIAL WORKER. She's awesome.

Joye's Birth Certificate is on it's way. Like blogging I slacked MAJORLY on that, and now I'm scrambling to get it here so I can get her SS card so we can get our taxes done. That's a mouth-full.

Well, I better start on supper. I am going to try my hardest to keep up and get back to blogging. Be patient with me, it's on the bottom of my long list of to-do's. I'm sure there are many that can relate. :)

Journey to Joye Montage

2010-11-13T09:51:00.000-08:00

Adoption Truth #1

2010-11-12T11:32:00.000-08:00

In light of National Adoption Awareness Month, I felt led to share how adoption has touched our lives and correct some misconceptions. I really don't know how many "truth's" I plan to do this month, but this one has been lain (very heavily) upon my heart and I would like to get rid of it, so to speak.

I don't believe that everyone is called to adopt. There are some that are meant to adopt, and some that are meant to pray for those who adopt and some are meant to financially support or help those that are called to adopt. All are beautiful.

I feel many are called to adopt, but discount that calling. Many things can pop up and steal the faith that it takes to start the process. One of those things is . . . the money. Everyone needs money. You have to have it to survive. Some people have a lot of it and some don't have enough. One lie that most believe is that only those who have a lot of money can adopt. NOT TRUE. Does it take a lot of money to adopt? It can. Depends on where you adopt from.

Now, I know nothing about people's circumstances. All I know is our circumstances went against the "only the rich can adopt" theory. We are self employed and live a VERY simple life. We didn't have the money laying around to start Joye's adoption. In fact, we put the first fees on our credit card. Which was about $4,000. Was that smart? Not entirely. Our CC company hiked the fees and made it really hard to pay back. However, I can say with certainty that we no longer have that Credit Card and that it was paid off. Not sure how though, I don't remember. (I am not advocating going into debt to pay for an adoption - just stating our journey and how it all worked out.) We then opened up a savings account and got to work praying daily for God's Mighty provision. We did a few fundraisers. Raised about $4,000 and were touched so deeply by our community who helped out A LOT. Where did the rest come from? I have no idea. Our savings account just kept growing and growing and growing. When we received the phone call that changed our lives forever, all the money was in there to accept Joye's referral. Actually, we had a whopping $.69 left over.

Then we were wondering if we could afford to go to Korea. All we had was $.69! Again, by the time we were ready to travel, we had saved enough to go and pick up our baby girl. To recall, I really don't know where the money came from. I know we saved here and there, used a tax return or two, but does it make ANY sense that we (we didn't; HE did) had accumulated $20,000+ in a little over a year? Not one iota.

But God.

He knew.

He knew, right down to the nickels and dimes.

I know that if you step out in faith and trust Him, he will provide. I know it!

So that is my Truth for today. If God calls you to adopt, trust that He will provide EVERYTHING you need to get you through. Because He will. I promise. If you read any of the Gospels you will see how enamored Jesus is with the act faith. It's the only thing that shocks him! The Bible says "you cannot serve two masters . . . you cannot love both God and money." (Matt. 6:24) Who are you going to believe and love more? I LOVE the verse that is just a few above, which I think is eloquently placed together with the money verse, "store up your treasures in heaven" Matt. 6:20. You can't take money with you to heaven, it's no good there. But you can take some beautiful children. Amen?

FINALIZED!!

2010-11-02T17:12:00.001-07:00

In case you blow up the picture, yes, my neck is red. I was really nervous with the third-degree questioning I received about being Joye's forever mom. (Not really, but he did ask some really weird questions, none that I expected, but legit.) My neck gets red when I get nervous and I HATE it! Just so you know. :)

Chad "swearing" to take good care of Joye.

"Our Day" in court.

The three Amigos.

Kaleb and Tootsie.

We were scheduled for Finalization on Friday. I got a call yesterday that there was a "conflict" and that they had an opening for today at 4:30 or we could possibly reschedule for next week. Since they had an opening, we took the 4:30! Sooooo, it's official! She's ours! Forever!

Today, she also turns 18 months AND it was this day a year ago that we formally accepted!!! How cool is THAT!?

Speaking of official, she has officially started walking and chooses that mode of transportation about 85% of the time. It's really cute to see her walk. The last two days she just decided that it was time!

See the pic of her and I? Cute, right? Well, she and I didn't get along today. At. All. It took me THREE HOURS to feed her breakfast. It was oatmeal, for crying out LOUD! I have fed her oatmeal for the past 2-3 weeks. Loves oatmeal. Never a problem. She woke up yesterday morning ready to rumble in the eating department. And rumble we did. Same thing for lunch. She sits with a mouth full of food and won't swallow! She will, when she darn-well feels like it! Seriously! She's sat up to 30 minutes with a bite STILL in her mouth. One thing that she knows only SHE can control, I guess. Highly frustrating - to say the least. Like I have time to sit around in the kitchen for three hours! I think her appetite has shrunk, so for the meantime, I think I will feed her when she shows signs of being hungry. I honestly do NOT have the slightest idea of what is going on in her little noggin. It's a battle, that's all I know. One of many in the career of parenting, I'm afraid. So we look like buds for the camera, but it's a facade. Hate to say it, but oh-so-true.

Love her to death, my little Tootsie, but the terrible two's have came earlier than expected. Oy.

Referral-versary!!!!!

2010-10-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

It's been one whole year since I saw this sweet face for the first time. Can you believe it?!! I sure can't. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was surprised and shocked, and totally ready to begin the wait to bring her home. We studied her picture for countless hours. (she still, to this day, does the confused eye brow look when you bust out a camera!) That's my baby!
Seeing her face for the first time in my email was intoxicating! The sad part was is that I couldn't wait for Chad to open it up with me! I told him that I would wait but, he told me to go ahead. I tried sending it to his phone but no avail. I was the first to see her. Then the boys. They were excited and proud to finally be big brothers.

We went over her file with a fine-toothed comb when Chad came home from work that night. We fell in love with her immediately. Hook. Line. And Sinker.

There was a little part to her background that made us worry a bit. Nothing big. Nothing alarming, but we did wonder. What if? We talked about that 'blip' many times over the night and throughout the weekend. Satan really dug in his heals and made us fear. He tried to make us give up on her. But we couldn't. We couldn't let her go. She was ours.

So we took a leap of faith, and accepted Monday morning. It was done, she was ours and we prayed endlessly that the 'blip' would be non-existent. So far, we have yet to see any implications of the 'blip.' Not one.

It helped us to realize how faithful God is, and how grateful we are that we took that leap. She was meant to be in our family. From the beginning, she was meant to be ours. May the glory be to God, because He is the only one who is responsible.

One year. How time flies . . .

Final Finalization and Molars

2010-10-13T09:06:00.000-07:00

WOW. It has been a looonnnggg time since I posted. I wish I could say that something MAJOR has kept me from blogging, but truthfully, nothing really has. Time has just flown by, as usual.

First things first, we got our Finalization date! Almost a year to the day that we sent our acceptance to AAC! It's Friday, November 5th! YAY! I really didn't look at this date, in the beginning of the process, as something special. I guess I just had my 'eye on the prize' of just getting her home. Now, I really view it differently. It's the end and a beginning. It's the end of the process, paperwork and the end of waiting. It's the beginning of her life with us. Her name will legally change, and she is all ours! She's been ours and has been with us for four months, but it will be legal and final. We will still need to get her a passport, and Certificate of Citizenship, but the 'adoption' part is pretty much over, come November 5th. Yipeeeeee!

In the last two Progress Reports, I have put that Joye is teething, but no physical evidence has erupted yet. (I wonder if they actually believe me that she is actually teething) Well, I am happy to report that those nasty molars have finally made their way to the top. Although we haven't seen the white's of their pearly being, they are almost through the gum. However, we have three more to go. Just the lower right has made it's way home. I am so looking forward to more fevers and clingy-ness for the next three. Not really.

We also celebrated Joye turning 17 months old (on the 2nd of October) in my blogging absence, AND being home for 16 weeks. Our four-month mark will be on the 16th of October. Can't believe it.

I have also been working on our "Journey to Joye" video and taking recent pictures for that. It's been fun to see the pictures of us first together and the pictures of us now. I will *hopefully* have that done soon, but no promises.

We've had progress in the walking department! Joye has taken 11 steps to date, and is getting stronger and more stable. She still has days where she crawls the majority of the day, and walks a few steps. But then there are days when she tries and tries and tries and gets herself all worn out. LOVE IT! She's sleeps better on those days. :)

She's getting more verbal and expressive with her words and we see the 'wheels turning' all the time. Her progress is more visible each day.

There are days when she thinks that she's in charge and that we are all here to serve her. Those are the fun days. Then there are days when she is just sweet as pie. I seemed to have forgotten the wonderful seasons of Toddler-hood. Or maybe I just blocked them out. I can't recall what happened to those blessed memories. :)

Otherwise we have just been hanging out, doing school and enjoying the nice fall weather. Buckling down for the ever-present existence of winter approaching. Yuck.

Tootsie's Progress (and more)

2010-09-19T11:49:00.000-07:00

This past week we celebrated being home for three months. YAY! We also sent in our second Progress Report and our $$ to begin the Finalization process. In the County we live in you don't have to have all three Progress Reports in to finalize, in case some were wondering. We should get a call with our Finalization date soon. Yay for THAT! It's just a piece of paper, which says what we already know - Joye is ours forever.

There is also something that I have been wanting to share for a while now, but haven't had the time. We are making BIG progress with the sleeping issue. Let me give you a little background first:

When we first brought Joye home, I was planning to parent just like I parented the boys. Same rules, same expectations. Although I had read MANY books on adoption and what to expect, I still had it in my mind that it all was the same. Relatively. I mean, I didn't expect her to be left with a stranger and be ok. I knew and planned for adoption-related issues and was planning on dealing with them as they arrived.

One thing I did NOT plan on was sleeping issues. I don't know why, I just never thought much about it. (I must have skipped that chapter in the books ;) I expected sleeping problems for the first month, when we were getting used to her and to allow for Jetlag. By month two, I was stumped and frustrated. "Sleeping and getting tired are an INSTINCT, like hunger and the ability to fill a diaper!" I told myself and others. What is the big deal?!
I was expecting her to be independent, fall asleep on her own, and be able to be secure when I wasn't in the room. Just like the boys were at 15-16 months of age. The boys didn't go through the loss that Joye has, and I began to realize other specific things that helped me be more compassionate.

I bought a book while we were waiting, "Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child" by Patty Cogen. I briefed through it and read a chapter here and there. I found it incredibly depressing at times. I put it down and decided that it wasn't positive enough, and my daughter was going to different than the child/children that she describes in the book. (To some point I still believe this, some of the material is pretty bleak, but the majority of it is very helpful)

After I fought Joye to sleep for an hour-and-a-half one night, I decided to crack it open. Turned right to the chapter about sleep. My eyes were opened. The reason why she cried 15 minutes after I put her down, was because she wanted to be near me and was getting attached to me. Never thought about that.

It's apparent that she had sleep issues in Korea, as well. She had NO nap and went to bed at 11pm and woke at 8am. FM said that she didn't like to go to sleep. I also think that she dreams about FM and Korea too. This is where she grieved.

"She needs to self-soothe!" I would tell myself. Then I read the chapter on self-soothing. After reading, I found that Joye didn't know how to self-soothe. She needed help to know what were good pre-bedtime habits and what were not. Pulling hair - NOT a good habit. Pinching herself - NOT a good habit.
I was told that Joye DID NOT accept "fake nipples" or pacifiers. However, I have picture from Korea with one in her mouth. ???? I never got a pacifier from FM. If it was vital, I KNOW FM would have given it to us. I think maybe she had one, and then weaned herself off and then maybe regressed a little when she came home. I don't know, just guessin'.

After she fell asleep (which took a while), she had the suckle thing going on. Well, she fell asleep with bottles in Korea, which I eliminated shortly after arriving home. Because once they were gone and out of her mouth, she would wake, FLIP OUT and scream because it was gone. It was making the sleep thing WAY WORSE.

I took all these pieces of the sleep puzzle and started putting them together.

For the record, I was adamantly opposed to introducing a pacifier at 16 months of age (before I read Cogen's chapter on self-soothing, and realized that she *might* have had one in Korea). I would have NEVER introduced a paci to the boys at 16 months! Neither of the boys had paci's past 12 months. Because they didn't NEED them. Joye needed something to help comfort her and put a different spin on falling to sleep.

So I relented, and busted a puggy out of the archives. Let's see what happens?

I *showed* her the pacifier and she pointed to it and went "uh, uh, uh!" She knew exactly what it was and wanted it REALLY bad. Ever since, we have absolutely NO problems going to sleep. I followed Cogen's advice and give it to her when we start the pre-sleep process. No fighting, no crying, just peaceful drift into restful sleep. !!!!!

She wakes up fewer times in the night (hardly ever). Rarely wakes from her naps and is sleeping 1.5 hours almost everyday! It's like a magic button! When she wakes, she hands it to me as if to say "here, take it, I'm done, for now."

The purpose of this post was to remind myself that sometimes I have to be more open-minded as a parent and as a person. I want to do what is best for Joye. If she needs a pacifier, then she needs one. Right now she needs A LOT. And I am totally ok with that. My expectations are more aligned with what is best for Joye and what she needs right now. I'm finding that parenting her is pretty different from when the boys were her age. But then the boys were (and still are) very different from each other and parenting them is still different.

Having Joye has been a wonderful experience for me. I have learned SO much from her. She's made me a better mom (not meant to be a compliment to myself, just that I have had to think outside 'the box' and it's been good for me).

Another thing is that we have been home for only 3 months! A lot of progress has been made in this short time! Our Heavenly Father has taught me a lot about finding the good in the trials. As hard as it is to look past the bad, it's really encouraging to see the good.

- - - - - - - -
In other news . . .

Tootsie started standing, from a squat in the middle of the room, for the first time today! She will be walking VERY soon. Yikes! I'm not sure I'm ready for this! Batten down the hatch!

She caught her first cold, and the poor little thing is a trooper. Not much seems to get her down. That and she has the tiniest little nose on the planet! Where does all the green gooey stuff come from? (Probably TMI)

She can say "poo poo" which is our nickname for the dog.

She says "ow" for when she gets hurt, but says it when she's not.

She says "uh-oh" when something falls or drops.

"da da" for belly button.

When I hand her the prune juice bottle every morning she says "deet, deet" for thank you. Doesn't say it again until the next morning when I give her the same bottle.

When I look at her picture that we got from Korea, before we went to get her, I see a different baby. Even the pictures of us together as a family for the first time. She has changed SO much. Some good, some bad. The good is that she's growing like a weed and doing more things. The bad is that I feel her culture, language and a part of her is leaving. As she adapts to America, I feel less of Korea. It breaks my heart. It's inevitable, I guess. But it still makes me sad.

16 months!

2010-09-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

Would you believe me if I told you that our baby girl will be 18 months is just another two months?

Where did the time go?I see more and more of her sweet personality every day. We're coming up on being home for three months, soon, and I can't believe it's been that long. Like I said in her 15-month-old-post, sometimes it seems like she's been here longer than just three months.

Things that are new; well relatively new as we go into her 16th month of life.

- The sippy is her new friend. We had a hard time adjusting her to the sippy and now she LOVES it. She still has a small bottle of formula at night and then a bottle full of prune juice/water in the morning. She just needs that bottle time still. It soothes her soul.

- I saw her putting big lego's together and so I busted out a block bin (that I put away when the boys got tired of them) and she plays with those blocks all. day. long. She can already stack them!

- Sleep is getting better. She sleeps harder at night and doesn't wake up as often during her nap. It's just getting her to sleep that's hard. Working on that still. That's a whole 'nother post.
-She can say "dog" and now knows the difference between the dog and the cats. In her defense, Sadie is a Yorkie and does kinda resemble that of a cat. KINDA.

-She's not as needy, but still has needy moments.

-She goes to family members easier.

-She knows what a snake says. (Working on other animals because snakes are creepy) When you say "what does the snake say?" She will put her little tongue against her front teeth and make THE CUTEST "sssssssssss" sound. It's extremely adorable. Picked that up in about a minute. (So why doesn't she get the sleep thing, you ask? GREAT question!)

-She and Abram play really well together. Every morning when Kaleb and I are getting his heavy-duty 4th grade stuff done, Joye and Abram play. It's really cute. He has grown to love his little sister SO much. He loves on her and kisses her and tells her he loves her the whole time. My heart just melts.
-She cuddles more. She gets more satisfaction from me and I see her settling "into" me more. She's always been lovable and snuggly, but I see more of that as time goes on.

-She still isn't walking, but I am confident that she won't be 5 and not walking. She'll learn it and do it in her own time and we are not forcing it right now. (For the record, she totally could walk, she just doesn't know it yet. She's very stable, has her balance, she just doesn't have the whole mobile balance yet.)

-She's a pleaser. She listens VERY well and knows what she's allowed to touch/do and not allowed to touch/do. She's a really good girl. (it took time to get here, but she realizes who's boss now. YAY for that!)

-She giggles more. It's really cute*. (*I'm pretty sure I have used that phrase many times)

-She loves to play, explore, find new things, pretend to cook, put lids on things, wrestle, dance to music, throw the ball for the boys, laugh at herself, EAT and mimic the dog and everyone else.

Her name fits her. She brings so much joy to everyone she's around.

Happy Sixteen Months Baby Girl!!!! We LOVE you!

Wordless Wednesday {Working with Daddy}

2010-09-01T10:12:00.001-07:00

{He's MY Daddy, just so you know. That way there's no confusion - on your part. *glare* See the awesome pen that he gave me?}

{I'm helping, right Daddy?}

{Of course! I couldn't do an Estimate without YOU!}

{Let me make sure that this blue stuff is ALL OVER both of my hands!}

Catch-up

2010-08-22T17:52:00.001-07:00

I guess it might be time for a post. Since it's been forever.

Last time I left you, our loving Social Worker was coming over for our first visit. It was GREAT. She is an awesome person to talk to and I feel like she totally understood everything. Our main topic of conversation was getting Joye to NOT scream before naps and bedtime. What could it possibly be? Why is she doing this? I then explained our troubles and she said that what I was doing, was the best fit for the situation. Whew! Big relief! I felt like an Angel flew into my living room right at that moment.

I had doubt, guilt and low confidence and she restored all of that in one brief hour of talking.

So what am I doing, you ask? Joye is happy about 99% of the time. The 1% is when you are trying to get her to fall asleep. Once she's asleep, she's good. It's getting her there. I've mentioned this before, and it's not new to many of you.

I have found that holding her tight, while rocking her, helps a lot. She fights it, but she fights sleep anyway. I brought this up with SW, and she said that it's exactly what Joye needs. She needs to feel safe and that I am never going away, no matter how much she screams and fights.

To me, it's better than putting her in her crib and letting her scream by herself. Some kids need that, Joye wouldn't do very well. I have tried to let her 'put herself to sleep' or self-soothe and she doesn't do it. THREE HOURS goes by before I have to finally go in and hold her to get her to sleep. She doesn't cry the whole time, she just does EVERYTHING she can to keep herself awake. It's painful - on ME! I would rather hold her and inadvertently 'teach' her to fall asleep. Something I felt was true, but SW confirmed it. I feel horrible sometimes because she fights it SO bad and gets herself worked up, but after she's calm, she wants kisses and drifts off to sleep.

It's really hard, but I see it getting better. I hold her in a loving, calm manner. I Talk to her and tell her how much I love her. We have had the same routine for over two months now, so she knows what nigh-nigh-time is all about. She's just stubborn and doesn't want to be told when to go to bed. I'm pretty sure she was responsible for when she fell asleep on her own in Korea.

All in all, I am SO thankful for our Social Worker and our meeting.

---------

Then we headed to the Big City for a Rockies game and to partake in our agency's Annual Picnic. We LOVED the game and Joye did amazingly well! The game ended at 11:00 p.m. and since she hates the act of being put to sleep, she stayed up for the ENTIRE thing! But getting her to sleep was that much harder once we got back to the Hotel. :(

The next morning, we headed to Berthoud and met all of our agency/blog friends for the first time. It was AWESOME! So glad we made the trip over! We got to see where AAC HQ was and actually meet the people that I have talked on the phone with for the past two years! Then we headed to Chad's Uncle and Aunt's for the night and then headed home the next morning. Joye did great, but she doesn't get excessively cranky when she's SOOOO tired and we are out and about. (At home it's another story.)

--------

This last week we caught up on sleep :) and settled into our normal school routine.

Well I just thought I would let you know that we are indeed alive and doing pretty well. Just living through the up's and down's and trying to be thankful for ALL the moments! ;)

2 years; 2 months

2010-08-12T08:16:00.000-07:00

Today is TWO YEARS since we became an AAC family, officially. Our money (to begin) reached our agency and our formal application was filled out and "approved." The wait began, two years EXACTLY from today. WOW. Crazy, huh?!

August 14th, 2008, we called our agency and was told that we were #25! We were expecting like 50 or 60, but #25 - that was do-able! 8/14/2010 (this Saturday) is when we will attend our first Annual Picnic put on by our agency. With little Tootsie in tow. Amazing how it all fits in and works together, isn't it?! It's been a GREAT two years, full of ups and downs, but all worth it.

-------------

Yesterday was exactly 8 WEEKS since we have been home with our sweet Joye. Two months! Can you believe it!? I sure can't! She is adjusting and fitting in more and more each day. Sometimes it feels like we've been together for MORE than two months. And then other times it feels like LESS than two months. It's weird. Either way she fits in perfectly and we are SO glad that she's finally home.

Big celebrations today!

Our Social Worker is also coming today to do our first Post Placement report! What are the odds!?

Well, I just thought I would share our dates-on-the-calendar coincidences! They build my faith and help me to see that everything works out the way HE planned it: PERFECTLY.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-08-11T12:09:00.000-07:00

15 months old!

2010-08-04T13:16:00.000-07:00

Monday, our little princess turned 15 months old. I am *so* glad to have her home and see these mile-markers! Every month, in Korea, she would turn another month older and I would be just so sad. But now she's here and it's neat to see her grow and flourish right before our eyes.

Speaking of flourishing - we have officially taken a step back in the whole sleeping thing. The past three nights she has woke up at midnight and does NOT want to go back to sleep! Eye-yi-YI Tootsie, what is the deal! AND she hates naps, again. Two things that may be the culprit: teething and that she is REALLY close to walking. She has made TONS of progress in just the past week, on walking. So we just push through, and are thankful that this is just a stage and that we WILL see the other side. Sooner, rather than later, I hope.

We start school tomorrow. "What?!" You might say. "On a Thursday?!" Well, I wanted to ease them in slowly, actually - who am I kidding? I want to be eased in slowly. A toddler that has just decided that sleep isn't that important, coupled with a GREAT relaxing summer - we need to phase in the school thing sssllllllooowwwllllllyyyy. Plus I LOVE to start early and get out early - one of the perks of homeschooling. It's way hot outside anyway - taking advantage of the boredom :)

So today was our last day of summer. Boooo. But we all are looking forward to another year of learning new things and juggling life with little Tootsie in tow. It should be FUN! ;)

The inevitable

2010-07-29T11:52:00.001-07:00

Well, we've been home six weeks now and the inevitable happened.

The girl's got left.

The boys went camping.

Seriously, they won't have any fun. Because the fun stayed home.

-----

In their defense, we tried to go camping, all of us, about three weeks ago.

There was a certain someone, who shall remain nameless ;) that wasn't very fun to be around.

Maybe it was the countless mosquitoes that swarmed around us. Or maybe the fact that nap times were out of place. Or that the certain someone couldn't get down because she would eat everything on the ground.

I dunno what it was, but they left without us this time. All with big smiles and waves.

Oh well, we will have our own fun here - without them. :)

How's she doin'?

2010-07-23T09:24:00.001-07:00

Wordless Wednesday was my 100th post. I just had to put that in to remember it. YAY for 100!

Anyway, Joye is doing AWESOME. The past couple of days she has been doing this 'happy squeal' and it's adorable. I don't know if she was doing it in Korea or not, but she does it here and we LOVE it. It really is neat to hear a baby squeal in this house again.

Sleeping: Things are going MUCH better. Before, the nighttime bottle was a hard one to let go of when it was gone. Meaning, she would just keep sucking air until I had to kindly remove it from her white-knuckle grasp. Screaming would result, and then she would eventually drift off to dreamland. We have been working on "all gone." When she finishes her *yo baby* yogurt in the morning I say "all gone!" and throw it away. When she finishes her water/juice I say "all gone" and I take it.

It took a while, maybe a couple weeks, for her to get it and now she hands it off when it's gone! I know, this girl has GOT IT! Now at night, when the love-of-her-life is empty, she hands it to me. This Mama was one happy camper when that happened for the first time! She still cries a little (like maybe she's expecting me to fill 'er up!) but it's not the fit that she used to throw.

Naps are easier and I am finding that putting her down at about 10:00 a.m. is better than letting her get overtired by waiting until 1:00. She sleeps from about 10-12ish and then she could use another nap in the afternoon, but two things make it just not worth it. 1) she's pretty hard to convince, i.e. it takes a LONG time to get her down, and 2) she's up in the middle of the night. She falls back to sleep easily, but I would rather she have a long block of sleep at night. If-you-know-what-I-mean!

She is a cute little addition to our bed. Yes, she co-sleeps with us. (and we LOVE it, btw) We co-slept with both boys (they are in their own beds now) and are used to the whole family bed thing. It's not for everyone, but it works for us. She used to roll and be really restless, but not much anymore. She'll roll a little and then settle fairly quickly.

Eating: still eating us out of house and home. Although lately, she's decided that playing with it is more fun. :) Her appetite has decreased a little, but I think she's cutting some major teeth. She's been biting down on her fingers more and cries a little bit more when she's tired. I don't see or feel anything, but I can tell that she's just off a little. 95% of the day she's a happy, snuggly, lovable little girl.

Things that I love about her:

Her infectious smile. (see photo in sidebar, I mean seriously, you can't help but smile when you see that cute face?!)

Her happy disposition. Her eyes just light up.

The way she puts up with all the kisses and lovin's that we constantly give her.

When you sing to her, she hums right along with you. Really sweet.

She LOVES straps, belts, anything that she can put around her neck. It's unusual to find her without something around her neck. She has done this from day one. I wonder if FM wore a lot of necklaces or always wore a scarf? I'll have to take a picture - it's really cute.

Funny story: We were at J.C. P*nney's and the girl checking us out was wearing her employee badge round her neck, and instantly Joye pointed to her and went "uh,uh,uh." I realized it was the strap! She wanted to try it! It was so funny!

When you say"OH, pretty!" She smiles *really* big and rubs her chest/tummy. This girl pays VERY close attention to clothes and what she and I are wearing. As a matter of fact, FM gave her a favorite shirt that Joye always liked to wear. FM explicitly said that she doesn't usually give clothes to Forever Families, but she had to give Joye this shirt and pants. Because she loved it SO much. It's that hilarious?! LOVE the girly-girl thing!

She loves her bath time. She really didn't have much emotion when I bathed her at first. I think because the bath tub was really big (I don't think they have bath tubs in Korea. I never saw one.) and she was REALLY tired when I bathed her. Now she knows the whole routine. Loves every minute of it ALL.

She communicates VERY well. I don't know if girls are more expressive, or that I pick up on her cues more because I haven't been with her for the 14+ months. But she is VERY good at letting you know what she wants. Since day one, I knew what she wanted - not ALL the time but at least 90% of the time. She's just really good at letting you know what she wants. It's really been nice.

She's getting the English thing figured out, too. Remember I said that she as babbling more in an English manner? Well, she's working out the sounds. She's got the "k" sound down when she sees the kitties. And when someone walks into the room where she is, I swear she says "hiiiiiiiii!" It sounds just like it. And when we see her we all say "hiiiii." So she's making the connection.

She says 'mama' a lot still. I think it's referring to me. Let me tell you why I think that. The boys say "hey, mom?!" about 500 times a day - EACH. So I'm pretty sure that she's working out the 'mama' thing. :)

One more thing that I think is super-adorable:

She will strategically place things like small boxes, wipe dispensers, small trucks so she can sit on them. She backs her little tushy up to them and then will throw her leg over and voila! she's sitting on it! It's really cute to see her think all that out and watch her implement it!

She loves music and jams to anything playing. In the carseat, highchair or even on one of her 'chairs'. It's really cute.

Ok, ok, ok. Enough with the 'it's really cute' business. I have to write this stuff down - or I'll forget it!

Hope you all have a GREAT weekend! And CONGRAT's to those of my bloggy friends that FINALLY got TC and are heading to Korea VERY SOON! Wooooohooooo!

{First} Wordless Wednesday - Nightgown Beauty

2010-07-21T11:03:00.001-07:00

One Month Home

2010-07-14T19:45:00.000-07:00

Four weeks ago today, we were packing up our stuff in Korea and heading home.

Four weeks ago today we were venturing into a *new* life.

A life of unknowns and new paths.

We have waited so long with a picture in hand. Now we have the little life in our hands.

Many questions lurking in our minds:

How would the boys adjust?

Would the plane ride(s) be horrible?

What makes this little beauty happy, sad?

Well, one month in, the lingering questions are being answered one by one.

We have fallen more in love with our little Joye SeoYeon.

The boys are LOVING her being around and she is SO happy to be with them.

One month in, I feel like she has always been here.

The weeks have flown by and I can't WAIT to spend more weeks in her presence.

Thank you Heavenly Father for giving us this precious little girl. Our lives are forever changed - for the better.

Happy ONE MONTH HOME baby girl!

Re-cap; long overdue

2010-07-12T11:27:00.000-07:00

Good Morning Tootsie! Sorry about the blurriness. But she is SO happy when she wakes up. Well . . sometimes. She's really happy to see the boys in the morning though, every morning.
Thinking: " How can I get her to pick me up . . . I know . . . !"
And then there are morning's like this. When she's not too happy.
Wait . . . there's more.
I know, sad isn't it?!
She snaps out of it pretty quick, though.
This is her staring-out-in-space look. Helloooooo!?
Our first fishing trip. She did AWESOME. It was really high elevation (10,000+) and she wasn't effected by it at all. I wondered, but she did great. I made sure she had A LOT of liquids.

Daddy and Miss Joye. She's all decked out in her team colors to support Bubba's last Baseball game. Daddy was third-base coach.
Here's the lot-o-liquids part I was talking about. Same fishing trip. :)
OK, we all know this girl has a lotta hair, but seriously - it's uber long too. Can you believe it?!!

This was after the crying theme, at the beginning of this post. See the moisture in the one eye, from the cry-fest? After I took this picture I picked her up, put that crazy hair up in something and we ate breakfast.

So. . . it has been like TWO WHOLE WEEKS since I have posted. So sorry. I really don't know where the time has gone! Let's recap.

For the 4th: We celebrated the 4th of July by going to our yearly parade and we were able to show lil' tootsie off (on Saturday). That was fun. I dressed her up in her little Red, White and Blue outfit that I got her, but forgot to take a picture. I know, what was I thinking?

Sunday we went over to my Grandma's house for supper and then watched the Fireworks from her driveway. Joye did great. She couldn't hang in there for the Fireworks and fell asleep on me.

Then Monday we went fishing. Again, she did great.

Since I left you, we were having trouble with her sleeping. That was the need for the boundaries, right? Yeah well, THAT is what we have still been working on. The girl fights, fights and FIGHTS sleep. And she hates it even more when you tell her that it's nigh night time. If she get's tired and doesn't have a nap - it's worse. I thought at first that she just didn't require a lot of sleep. Well- that proved to be NOT true. She needs her sleep - the trick is convincing her of the idea. She will play for HOURS if you leave it up to her. She even resorts to pulling her hair out of her head to derail the sleep train. Seriously! I wish I was kidding!

After many naps and nights we have finally got her number. I lay down with her and have to keep telling her "no, it's nigh night time" over and over and over. She cries, screams and just get's plain mad, but eventually relents and falls asleep. The time to get her to fall asleep is getting smaller and smaller. We are making progress. She is sleeping more at night with less wakings and having longer naps. YAY!

Eating: This girl is an EATER. She eats anything and everything you put in front of her. She loves everything! And the quantity - YIKES! I seriously don't think my boys EVER ate this much when they were her age. She LOVES butternut quash, noodles of any kind, any fruit you can come up with, prunes - LOVES prunes. If I listed all what we have given her and all that she has eaten, I would be here all day. She has one formula bottle at night (100cc) and the rest of her calories are consumed with regular food.

What She's doing: She is babbling more and more. We've caught her saying "bubba" "do" (short o for dog), and when I rock her she will say "nigh nigh." She also says "mama" A LOT. But she said mama in Korea and it means food. So I really can't decipher if that's me she wants, or food. The things (other than "nigh nigh") have been completely out-of-the-blue and we really aren't connecting them to the things that they mean - yet. Her babbling has changed to a more 'word' sound, if that makes sense.

She's not quite walking. She pushes stuff around the house and stands more. She also cruises the furniture more. She stood the other day and then like spun around and then latched onto the ottoman. She's getting her balance more and more each day.

No new teeth, but I'm pretty sure she's cutting some. She's been a lot more 'cranky' and sleepy lately and has had a runny nose. If I were to guess, I would say that is all linked to her teeth. She should be cutting her molars and the rest of her bottom teeth.

Overall Disposition: Extremely happy and full of joy (no pun intended.) Literally. She is just so much fun to be around. She mimics EVERYTHING you do. Cough, sneeze, yawn. She is SO. STINKIN'. SMART! I am amazed at what this little girl can catch onto at her age. It's unbelievable! You do things once and she's got it.

She came home doing hi-five. Foster Dad taught her to do it when he came home from work. It's was really cute. The boys were all over it, too, they loved giving her hi-five. But when you did it, she would just barely touch your hand. Well, since day one, the boys 'slap' their hands when they do hi-five. They don't do it really hard, but they just smack her hand and say "ha." Now when you say "hi-five" she slaps your hand pretty hard and says "ha." It is THE cutest thing EVER. And when she doesn't have anyone around to reciprocate her hi-five, she does it to herself. Kinda like practice. She smacks her own little hand and says "ha."

Then the other day we were watching the Rockies and when they scored the boys and Daddy all lifted their hands and went "yay!" and then what do you know - little Tootsie lifted her cute little hands in the air and says "aaaaaaaaay." Priceless. When she's real happy and wants a reaction she will do it and get everyone to do it with her. I LOVE it.

Hopefully it won't be long until I post again. ;)

Boundaries for Tootsie

2010-06-28T12:49:00.001-07:00

First of all, can I say how stinkin' A-DOR-ABLE she is? I mean, who couldn't love this face!?

And I LOVE fooling with the hair. I've tried many different things and I just LOVE that she has so much hair. She loves it done, too. I put her in front of the mirror and brush it and put it up and she LOVES it. I can't figure out if it's the hair-doing she loves - or her reflection. :)
We call her "crazyhair" in the morning . . . because . . . . well . . . you get the idea. Anyone know what K-Drama that name comes from? Just curious. No prizes for this one.
I have to tie it up in the morning, or her breakfast is all tangled in this lovely stuff. (above)
Playin' in the sunshine.

Playin' in the bath with the boys.
(not sure what the tongue is all about, but at least he's looking at me in this one.)
Having fun in the stroller, with her brothers. Um, by the way, that's a DOLL stroller - that's how small she is. Seriously.

From the first moment I was with Joye, I was trying to come up with a nickname for her. The boys are Bubba and Wooda - don't ask. I call them "dude" and "boys" when asking for their help or calling them. I have MANY boy nicknames and I was trying like crazy to come up with one for baby sister. Little Miss and Tootsie have been the ones that stuck. Most often used: Tootsie. Like Tootsie Roll. But not. Is it just me, or does she NOT look like a Tootsie?! I think she does.
And our little Tootsie is learning some new things. Case in point:

I feel that she accepted me from the start. She comes to me for comfort and definitely knows that I am her mommy figure. I have filled every need and have comforted every cry. She knows who I am. She is a SMART little girl. VERY SMART. Which brings me to my next subject.

When we were asking FM the things that she liked and questions about sleep schedules and baths, one thing kept coming up. The girl HATES to go to sleep. Great.

ME: Does she like bathes?

FM: (chuckle) Yes, but she knows that it's bedtime.

ME: What is her sleeping schedule?

FM: Well, she doesn't like to go to bed. She doesn't take a nap and she goes down about 11:00 and sleeps until 8:00.

I already knew that she went to bed late and didn't have a nap. Upon arriving home, I noticed that she wasn't the night owl I had heard so much about. She slept. A lot. She was cake to get down, not a peep. Fell asleep within minutes and slept HARD (for the most part) at night.

I would put her down for bed and remember what FM said about how she hated to go to bed. Really? Weird, I thought. Huh, oh well. Maybe she's just sleepy lately, or maybe she copes through sleep (which still may be.)

Then - last night. All day she was happy - except when Chad hugged me, loved on me, or even touched me. She's going to have to get used to that, I said to myself. She would scream and have this tantrum-like-tone to her scream. Oh, boy. Then I tried putting her down for bed last night and she kept trying to get back up. Then she would scream and lay back down. It ended up with that same tantrum-like scream. Wowser. Never saw that before. I eventually calmed her down and she fell asleep.

I could link this to adoption, over-stimulation, grieving, and many other things. If I search my gut, I really believe that she was testing me. Seeing if I was actually going to make her go to sleep. Seeing if I was going to cave and let her down. Seeing if I was going to let her get by with that tantrum-like scream. NOPE. I stood my ground and she fell asleep. After thinking about it, I actually am glad for this. Even though it's hard. This means that she is truly letting me in and looking at me as Mom. She's testing me like any other 14month old would test her Mom. And like any other 14month-old, she needs boundaries. BIG ONES. But (and it's a big but), I am establishing them a little at a time. Still fulfilling her needs, but letting her know in a way that she understands, that everything isn't HER way.

She tried that SAME THING at her nap today. She tried to get up and I laid her back down and said "no, it's nigh night time." She would cry (a very fake one - at that) and then suck on her bottle, and then in half the time as last night, she finally fell asleep.

So that's what we are working on now. Boundaries. A little at a time. She needs them, to feel safe and to know that I am here to take care of her no matter how loud and snotty her cry is. :)

She is SUCH a blessing to have around and as with any other stage with raising kids, this too shall pass. We are so in love with her and it feels like she has always been here. I love her SO much and can't imagine my life without her. My heart is literally bigger than before she was home. It's THE MOST amazing feeling in the world.

Night and Day

2010-06-22T11:49:00.001-07:00

When we first got home we all (except the boys) had our days and nights mixed up. Our first real night home was really mixed up because we all fell asleep at 3:00 am. Then Joye slept HARD during the day and then was up at night. To be expected. So the first thing I tried to regulate was her eating schedule. Man, is this girl an eater. She can flat put down the food. She really loves her bottle too, and so I was giving it to her more than what FM was giving her in Korea.

After about two nights of being up, I tried not to let her sleep through the day. That way she was good and tired for bed that night. Sunday we kept her up all day. The night before, she was up quite a bit with what I thought was hard grieving. Turns out she had tummy troubles. Her BM's are hard and they were giving her trouble. So she was SUPER sleepy all day long. She was basically half-asleep when I gave her a bath that night. I got her jammies on and got her bottle with her blankie and she was O.U.T. I put her down at 8:30 and she slept until about 4:00 and stirred. I gave her another bottle (because that's what FM did in Korea) and then she slept hard until 8:30 a.m. She sleeps with Chad and I. I do put her in her crib for naps. AFTER she falls asleep on our bed, of course. FM didn't give her naps, which is amazing to me. Last night we did the same thing, except on our way to Kaleb's baseball practice, she fell asleep in the car. I couldn't wake her up for anything, either. She was out! Then about 45 min. later she woke. Then dinner and bath, bottle, blankie at about 8:30. She stirred and I gave her a bottle again and she slept until 6:30 this morning.

I put her down at 12:15 and we will see how long she sleeps for. :)

That night that she slept 12 hours was great! Like night and day - she was a HAPPY GIRL the next morning. She's usually always happy, but she was excessively so that morning and really all day. She is SUCH a joy to be around and I can't imagine my life without her. She is so happy and her little personality is infectious. She loves the boys and Chad, but really prefers me. (Can I get a silent 'wooohooo?!') She won't go to Chad for great lengths, but is content for a little while with him.

She gets really jealous when anyone hugs me or loves on me. She will squeal and put on this fake cry. It's hilarious! FM warned me about that. I just keep lovin' on everyone to get her used to it. We all think it's funny and there are no hurt feelings. :)

I just can't believe how amazing this whole experience has been. I literally praise God for the wonderful things HE has done. I am amazed how it all played out and how my heart's desire was fulfilled. My heart breaks for FM and for her birthmother. She is such an angel from heaven and I can't imagine how painful it must have been to let her go. I couldn't do it, and I have only been with her for a week! I have such admiration for FM and what she does. She gave Joye such an awesome foundation. Indescribable.

As for the hard BM's, we are working on those. She puts her head on the ground and then straightens her legs to get them out. Kind of like she's trying to do a somersault. She looks like a tripod. I know elevation has ALOT to do with it. She's drinking tons of water. She loves Soy Milk and FM gave her 2 bottles a day, so we'll try that. And some prune/apple juice. It's definitely getting better.

Otherwise, we're just settling in nicely. Keeping our outings down to just a little at a time.

I just want to say thank you again to all of you who prayed. It worked wonders! I really give the glory to whom it's due. HE did it. But prayers helped more than you'll ever know. THANK YOU.

Business to do.

2010-06-19T13:05:00.000-07:00

Congrats to preciosarockera3 for getting the main actress of Stairway to Heaven right!!!! Send me your address and I will send you the special gift that I picked out! It's straight from the Land of the Morning calm.

Email me at jbaxter0619@yahoo.com and I will get that right out to you!

Thanks for playing!

Pictures!

2010-06-18T14:02:00.000-07:00

Abram had a severe case of hayfever and itched his poor little eyes into oblivion. Can you believe the hair on our little angel?
After her first bathy at home.
Her shirt says it all.
At Incheon Airport. The last picture of Joye in her homeland.
This is our "Forever Day" picture. This was actually taken the morning before we left, but you get the idea. :)

I'll post more later on. She just fell asleep and I better catch some z's myself.

The 'we are home!' Update

2010-06-18T13:12:00.000-07:00

I bet you all thought we fell off the face of the earth, eh?! Not quite. It HAS been a LONG time since I posted and I am really sorry about that.

So last time I left you, we got Joye forever on Tuesday night. We went up to a meeting room and waited for our Social Worker to translate. She came in and gave me some last minute paperwork and Joye's pre-flight report. About 30 mins. later SW said "it's time to go." I will never forget those words. We all got up and headed into the hallway where the elevator was. We told FM that Joye will always remember her and that we will always take good care of her. SW asked who was to hold Joye and Chad pointed to me. FM handed her off and began to cry. Chad asked if he could hug her and then embraced her. Chad, me (holding Joye) and FM all stood in a big hug and FM just sobbed. It was the saddest thing to experience. Finally SW opened up the elevator and told us to get in. I told FM I loved her and she asked for pictures and to keep in touch. We ended the meeting in tears and she did a deep bow and waved goodbye to Joye and then the elevator doors closed.

Joye never made a peep, but knew full well what was going on. We got up to room and she looked at me and then instantly fell asleep. She slept for about 1.5 hours and woke up confused. She then cried hard for about 20 minutes and then we started to play. The rest of the night went really well. I got out that 'mattress' quilt I bought and Joye really loved that. We played for a while and then she started to get sleepy and we curled up on the floor. While we were playing she crawled into my lap and said "omma." I couldn't believe my ears, I thought it was a fluke at first, but she said it very clear. She slept through the night, not a peep.

Wednesday morning she woke up really quiet. Looking around and acting confused. About 20 mins. later she was all smiles.

She slept about 3/4 the way through the flight to San Francisco. She was SO good. We didn't end up getting the bulkhead seats that I requested and paid for, but it ended up working out ok. The Flight Attendants were very understanding that being in the center of the middle row wasn't going to work. :)

We landed in SF and then everything went crazy. Of the entire week, landing back in the US was THE WORST part of the trip. I know that sounds weird and strange, but that's totally how I feel. We arrived late and ended up missing our flight to Denver while still in the air to SF. I knew there were at least 3 other flights to Denver and that we were ok. Well, then immigr@tion. There were us and three other couples that had children who were immigrating to the US. We all stood in line waiting to go thorough the paperwork. We were like 4th in line. We waited and waited and waited and waited. The line wasn't moving. Then the guy we traveled with asked when we could get our stuff processed, and the immigr@tion guy was SO SO stinkin' poopy. He proceeded to fingerprint THE ENTIRE line. Since we all had babies we didn't need to be fingerprinted. Yeah, do you sense the frustration? We stood in line for TWO hours. TWO HOURS. It didn't need to take that long. We all just got off an eleven hour flight with babies, and NO breakfast on the plane because Economy had a power outage and they couldn't serve the food. He was in absolutely NO hurry and had a major power-play attitude. He could have processed us quickly and let us through. He didn't do that - intentionally. So meanwhile - back at the ranch - all of us missed our connecting flights. One couple had to stay the night in SF because the flights were all gone. Luckily we got on a THE LAST flight out of SF, in order to make our third and final connection.

I went up to the desk at our gate and asked the United guy to print our boarding passes, and explained the situation to him. He said "we will call you by your last name when we are ready for you." Well, an hour went by and the flight was boarding. I explained the situation to him again and he instantly jumped on me and said that the flight was booked because I didn't check in. WHAT?! Luckily, he realized that he needed to probe a little more and that the mix up was his fault. He rearranged a few things and we boarded the flight to Denver. Joye slept and was an angel.

Then we made our third and final connection and were finally home at our local airport at 10:45 p.m. We made the hour-long ride home and Joye did great. She was quiet and somber, but really good. We took a bath and got her ready for bed and snuggled in at about 3:30 a.m.

Three hours in she began to really grieve. She's totally asleep, but cries. It's a sad cry and absolutely breaks my heart. So she cried on and off until about 5:00 a.m. and then we had breakfast. Her sleeping schedule is really all over right now. Which is to be expected. Last night we snuggled in earlier and then she was still restless and sad. I think she had gas, because her cry was different and she acted like she couldn't get comfortable. During the day she is happy, laughing, and a literal bundle of joy. Her name fits her. She still says "omma" to me and totally knows where to come for comfort, food or just snuggles. She goes to Chad easily and loves him being around. She LOVES the boys. They help to keep her entertained and are SO happy she's home.

We can feel all the prayers that all of you are lovingly sending up for us. The trip home (except for immigr@tion) was perfect. She was SO good on all the planes. Her transition went WAY better than expected and that I thank our Heavenly Father for. HIS hand is visible all over this experience. I am SO thankful.

She is so social, happy and an all-around pleasure to have around. Sometimes I have to pinch myself when I am feeding her a bottle and watching her sleep. She is truly a miracle and I am so happy to be a part of her life.

I'll do just post of pictures, coming soon.

2nd Meeting

2010-06-14T01:41:00.000-07:00

It's almost 6:00 here and we had a really good meeting with Dr. Kim. She is SUCH a nice lady. We had lunch with her and met two other couples from the US and then a couple from Australia. Really great to meet them. We shared stories of being around Seoul and discussed adoption and the flight home. All three of our families will be on the same flight home. It ought to be interesting.

Sidenote: Remember how I said that I didn't think Eastern was that big? I take that back. It has SIX floors. The area I thought was bigger than it really is, is the Social Worker area. It's pretty tiny.

Our second meeting with Joye went well. We met in the Business Center(which is where I am now) and then we took her up to our room and had Family Time. She was pretty happy. There were times when she looked around and put her little lip out. She cried a few times. It was really sad. Both Chad and I are sad to take her from Foster Mom. But that is what we came here to do, realistically. I had bouts of guilt and sadness and then I had to focus on the prize. Two paths. Leave her here, or take her with us. It's obvious what we came here to do. Foster Mom has done this 14 times, she knows what is coming. It breaks my heart to pieces. None of this is easy.

Our SW gave us a choice, to take her Tuesday night or wait until Wednesday before we leave for the airport. She doesn't have stranger anxiety, but she will react to Foster Mom leaving. I really debated on this. Chad left it up to me and my Mother's intuition. I would rather get the crying out here, than at the airport. So I chose tomorrow. We will get her forever tomorrow night at 5:00 p.m. I'm excited but a little nervous. This is where you all come in. Prayers. Please.

Near the end of the meeting, she fell asleep in my arms. Priceless. When she woke up, she was in Foster mom's arms. Not ideal, but we went with it. She woke up suddenly and then Foster Mom told her to say goodbye to us. She excitedly waved goodbye and looked VERY happy to see us go. :)

After the meeting we went to Dunkin' Donuts and sat. Then we ventured out and I FINALLY found the CD's I have been looking for since we touched down. YAY for that!

Well, we are headed out for dinner and we will probably see you on the other side. I really don't know if I will post again before we head out. We plan to hit Itaewon tomorrow with our new friends we met today. That ought to be fun. I'm sad to think about leaving this awesome country. We can't WAIT to come back or shall I say- adopt again?! Let's just get sweet Joye home first, then we'll talk about that! HA!

Love from the Land of the Morning Calm.

You are SURE you're a Hillbilly when . . .

2010-06-13T17:11:00.000-07:00

10. . . .you are the only one walking around without an umbrella.

9. . . you are the only one sportin' Carhartt shorts.

8. . . . you call the front desk a dozen times within the first hour of checking in.

7. . . . the toilet is smarter than what you are doing on it.

6. . . . you are the source of entertainment on the subway.

5. . . .you're the only one with facial hair.

4. . . . the waitress has to fix your meal and tells you when and how to eat.

3. . . . . you whip out your camera to take a picture in the middle of the restaurant of your food before you eat it.

2. . . . you swear you have massive bruises on your hips (from the hard beds), but when you look there is nothing there.

1. . . . you have to clean out your pants after a taxi cab ride.

We used the term 'hillbilly' because that's how we feel, not how we are treated. We are very different, but very similar. It has been so neat to be amongst our daughter's culture. We can't wait to come back and bring her to Lotte World. The people are very loving and nice. This was just fun post that we laugh about to ourselves. We just thought we would share.

(Chad came up with this list. I think he did a GREAT job.)

Lotte World

2010-06-13T15:52:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we made our way to Jamsil, which is where Lotte World was. We have the subway down pat now. Easy peasy. It was about 20 minutes from us and wasn't a bad ride at all. So remember a while back I said that I couldn't wait to see this place? Well, it was WAY worth it. It's just like a Korean Disneyland. Things are pricier to buy and there are food vendors everywhere. It was 31,500 won (~$30) to get in and then the rides were all extra. We didn't ride anything but we caught the cutest stage show. Got a little on video. Then they had a character parade. Really cute and there were kids everywhere. The kids really don't know what to think of us. They just stare and you can tell their little minds are really trying to figure out what to think. It's really cute. One little girl, that looked like our Joye waved at us. It was really cute.
So I will bring back a little something for the first commenter that can tell me what the name of the main character (female) that starred in the Korean Drama that is famous for the above picture. A little clue: She had amnesia and two men were in love with her. Anyone know?
This was at the ticket counter to let us in. There weren't alot of people - yet. By the time we looked around and had lunch the crowd had piled in.
The Lotte Castle. Isn't it beautiful? Really stunning in person.
There are three levels. The top has the rides and the stage, and all the pictures at the top of this post. Then the middle level has all the restaurants and food. Then the bottom level (shown above) has the Ice Skating rink, shooting range, bowling lanes and stuff. It's massive.
Better picture, eh?! I was ready this time. :) This is before you go down to the main level, OUTSIDE in magic Island. Another big theme park outside of the main three story structure.
Aaaahhh, blue skies. It was a nice hot, muggy day. Perfect for our Lotte World experience.
This was taken on the third story looking down.

This was the entrance to the outside theme park.

We also went to (within Lotte World) a Folk Museum. It had mini replicas of the dynasties. Little palaces, traditional houses and the evolution of the Korean people. It was really interesting. Then we happened on a Traditional Korean Wedding. THAT was really cool. I'm pretty sure it wasn't a show. Everyone was dressed up very nice and there were white covers on the chairs and a desk with two people taking names from the guests. We felt a little out of place, so we watched for a while and then went on our merry way.

Every night for dinner, we go to the same little restaurant. Friday we Bulgogi, athe Saturday we had Bibimbap (YUM) and then last night we had Bacon. It isn't like bacon at home. This stuff is super thick and then you fry it on a ceramic tile griddle-looking thing. Then you wrap it in lettuce leaves, like Bulgogi, with all the side dishes. That was our favorite meal here. SUPER YUMMY. We might take the subway back tonight just to have seconds.

We are moving to the guesthouse today. The posts might be pretty lean on pictures from here on out. I'm pretty sure Eastern doesn't have WiFi. We'll see. I can't promise anything. We are set to be at Eastern at about 10:30 or so and then we have our meeting with Dr. Kim, the director of Eastern. Then we see our little princess at 1:30. We might love on the babies after that. We're not sure.

So . . . it's raining again. If you don't have to go out in it, it's really pretty. We might just hang out at Eastern today. We really don't have any post-meeting plans. STILL looking for Super Junior and Shinee CD's. I think I will find those near Eastern. It will be a different area and we are excited to explore a different part of Seoul. For those traveling soon, I highly recommend the Dongdaemun area. GREAT shopping and food. We got a cab to Eastern for the first meeting and it worked out well. We are getting a cab today too, because of our luggage. It was about 8,000 won. Then we took the subway back to our hotel. The subway is really cheap and easy to use. Get a T-Money card at one of the street vendors and 20,000 should be more than enough to get around on. If you have too much, you can get a refund when you are ready to go home. The T-money card costs, but I think it's equivalent to about $3. The subway ride is about 20 minutes to Eastern from here. I LOVE our hotel. Very friendly and has a fridge and stuff.

Well I better get ready to go. Next up, my hubby is going to do a post about things he has realized while in Seoul. :)

Soggy Seoul

2010-06-12T17:16:00.000-07:00

There was a VERY small window to take the picture before someone walked in front of it. I clearly wasn't ready. Oh well. Do I look wet, or what?

The Rain. Oh, and there is Dondaemun in the background. :)
One of the gates blocking you out of the palace.
This is the Dongdaemun Palace which is called the Great East Gate. Located right in the heart of traffic and chaos. You can see my umbrella and how hard it was raining. :)
Must be a church. Loved seeing a cross.
The off-the-beaten-path outdoor soggy mall where I found some shoes for Joye.

Wow. Remember I said that it was raining yesterday before we went out? Yeah, well when it rains here, it DUMPS. I mean when it rains in Colorado, it rains but it REALLY gets after it here. Puddles everywhere. I noticed when we first got here that there were drains everywhere and I couldn't figure out what they were for. Now I know. Rain. And lots of it. We were soaked to the bone when we got back to the hotel. I got an umbrella when we first left and I was SO glad that I did. Chad was soaked through. Our shoes were soaked. If you didn't look out, you would step in about a million puddles. Which we all did, many times.

The rain didn't seem to bother the locals. High heels and shoes with a few galoshes were the norm.

We ventured off the beaten path and found a gold mine in shopping. TONS of shoes. I bought three pairs of shoes for Joye. They are SO cute. Pretty cheap too. Then my favorite part was this street vendor that had bedding sets. For those who don't know, Koreans don't typically sleep in beds. Their 'mattresses' are just like a thin quilt and then they sleep on a heated floor. Then they cover up with a puffy comforter. Anyways - I had to buy a quilt-like blanket here. So we found one and they are SO beautiful. I thought it was going to be like 70,000-100,000 won. So we asked and it was 25,000 won! What a steal! I was SO excited. I want to go back and get the comforter and maybe a pillow and have a whole set.

So we tried to find the Seoul City Bus Tour and asked someone to help us and never did find it. Oh well. Today we are going to Lotte World. It's about at 20 minute ride on the Subway. We plan to spend most of the day there. It's still kind of rainy. Looks like it might clear up though.

The sun looks like it's trying to shine. It will be nice and muggy. Better than the rain though. Well we're off. Tomorrow we meet our little princess again, and that will be another highlight. Can't wait!

Random thoughts

2010-06-11T17:01:00.000-07:00

We finally got the subway thing figured out. I think. :) You have to remember, we are from a VERY small town. This was all of our first time in a subway. It's pretty easy to navigate, though. You just have to pay attention.

We LOVE our Hotel. It's the Eastgate Tower Hotel and it's right next to the Dongdaemun Shopping Center and the Doota mall. These mall's beat the American malls. Most of them are 7-9 stories high. They go on FOREVER. Then you go to a different mall and the same thing!

We had Korean Bulgogi last night and it was DELICIOUS! The only thing, is that we were clueless on how it all went down. So the owner/server in the restaurant finally just took over and helped us. She cut it all up with scissors. It was really cool. Then she told us what to put in it and was really helpful. YUM.

The hotel is really nice. A few observations: The key to the room is a card that you press flat to the door knob and then it opens. Really cool. Then you ditch your shoes at the door. One funny thing that happened. I have to share. When we checked in and came up to our room it was REALLY hot in here. There was no power and we couldn't get the A/C to work. No lights, it was weird. So we called the front desk (which we have done MANY times, and they are so gracious to help us). They rang the doorbell, yeah no knocking, each room has a doorbell. And he said the door key/card goes in this little dock-like thing at the door. THAT powers the lights, A/C and stuff. Totally cool. Then Chad decided to take a shower. NO hot water. We looked around a little and found that you have to turn on the ondol heated flooring heater to get hot water. And it's fluctuates, it doesn't stay hot. It goes from warm to hot throughout your entire shower. And the bathroom floor floods. Because the shower floor drain, toilet and everything are in the same room. If you don't wear the shower booties you'll have REALLY wet socks.

The beds are really comfortable. Hard, but not to bad. There are no top sheets or tons of blankets. Just one really nice comforter. Pillows are soft and comfy. So far NO complaints there.

It's raining right now and so we aren't sure what we are going to do today. Maybe the Seoul City Bus Tour.

We have an American-style breakfast here and it's pretty good. I have been adventurous and tried the porridge both mornings. Yesterday was a rice porridge and it was pretty bland. I notice that their morning stuff is pretty bland. Then this morning I tried the crab meat porridge and it was REALLY good. Not as bland as yesterday.

The money system it super easy. If you ask how much something is, they show you on a calculator. They have the same numeric characters as us. Another thing is there is ALOT of stuff in English. Everywhere you look, there is billboards and stuff in English. We saw Pierce Brosnan on a BIG billboard as we got into the Incheon Airport. My BIL was like "hey, I know that guy!" It is really easy to buy stuff and it's really simple to use. Easier than the American money system. There are no pennies, dimes nickels and stuff like that. Everything is even. 1,000, 5,000, and 10,000 Won all in bills. You'll get a half won back every now and then, but it's really easy to figure out. Seoul is very user-friendly. If you can use that term with a city. It just takes a little while to figure it out.

Well, it looks like we are heading out for the day. Hope all is well back home.

Love to you all.

Looks like we made it!

2010-06-10T21:56:00.000-07:00

Me and my sweet girl!
We got to feed her and we both were in heaven.

Daddy and his girl.

Here we are listening to our Social Worker translating our questions. (Love her by the way)

So here are the details:
First of all, I am SO sorry that it has taken me this long to post. Let me tell you why it has been impossible. First we left our house at 4:00 a.m. on Wednesday morning, then we flew from a small town near us to Denver. Landed in Denver at 7ish and then took off to San Francisco THIRTY minutes later. Yeah, tight connection. Then we hung-out on the tarmak while experiencing a "technical malfunction." Meanwhile back at the ranch our connect window for our flight to Seoul was narrowing.

We then landed in San Francisco and were let off the plane first because there were 40 passengers that had to make the same plane we did. So then we booked it to the international terminal and followed an "angel" who appeared out of nowhere and helped us to the gate. She yelled "Incheon" and we followed her. I honestly don't think we would have made it if it wasn't for her. She had been to Korea before and taught English here. Anyway - we barely made it on the plane before it took off. Then it was 11 hours on the plane.

When we landed in Seoul, it took AN HOUR to get through immigration. Yeah, AN HOUR. The luggage people were paging us to pick up our luggage, it took so long. So we picked up our luggage and found our (fast) driver. He took us to our hotel and once we arrived we had been up for a full 24 hours. Little sleep. Then we proceeded to *try* to find the subway station. What a disaster. We were totally lost. Exhausted. Hungry and ready for bed. We decided just to get a Taxi reservation for our meeting at Eastern this morning. So we left our hotel at 8:30 and arrived at Eastern right as they opened. I pictured Eastern really huge and tons of people. It's actually not that big. So we met our Social Worker and then went through the paperwork of bringing her home.

Then we waited for a little while, and then . . . our SW came in and said our little SeoYeon was here. We left the room and walked out into the hallway . . . and there she was. I recognized her right away. We then all piled into the meeting room and started our meeting.

She is SO beautiful. She didn't really have much to do with us at first. She had a little bit of a boogery nose. Then we sarted engaging her with toys and talking to her. She was immediately interested in toys. Then we started asking questions and communicating with Foster Mom. Then our SW said to pick her up. You don't have to tell me twice!! She was fine in my arms. She looked at me intently and studied me. Then Chad interacted with her and we played with her for a while. Foster Mom got out a doll stroller and put her in it. She loved it. She's really little. She fit into the doll stroller fine! Then Chad pushed her around and she just loved it. She is such a delight! Happy, easy going, just an absolute doll! Foster Mom then left and she never cried or flipped out. She looked for her, but we tried to distract her. FM left the room quite a few times, I think to see what SeoYeon would do. She NEVER cried. FM even waved goodbye to her and said "goodbye" and she never flinched.

Let me just say something here. She is completely attached to FM, but she's not clingy toward her. She was a little clingy at the very beginning, but that was it. I have NO doubt that Joye will grieve and miss FM. Since THE DAY that we saw Joye's picture I have prayed for her transition. Prayed for her little heart and the loss that she will experience soon. Joye is pretty comfortable with us and is very easy-going. Even FM said that. But I think the glory goes to God when it comes to our meeting this morning. It was better than I ever expected. I wasn't as nervous as I thought that I would be. It was AWESOME! Are we still up for hard times? You bet, I am not trying to sugar-coat anything. ALOT of prayer has gone into this whole thing and I am feeling it's benefits.

About Seoul, we were a little overwhelmed last night. Running on literally NO sleep and trying to find the Subway. Not a good combo. Seoul is beautiful and HUGE. After taking the taxi, we got a little more comfortable with asking things and just being adventurous. We are now starting to enjoy ourselves. It takes just getting out there and exploring. Remembering landmarks and buildings help. The people are SO VERY nice. Really nice. I didn't expect them NOT to be, but they are so willing to help. We get stared at alot. That's probably how Joye will feel in our community. It's great to experience that.

We meet Joye on Monday and do our tour and meet the Director at Eastern. We will also move all of our junk (luggage) over to the guesthouse to stay. So far we are having alot of fun and are on an emotional high with meeting our girl for the first time. She is just so beautiful and we are so much in love.

Please continue to pray for her transition and for sweet Foster Mother. She is SUCH a sweet lady and my heart just breaks for her. Joye is her 14th Foster child, so she knows full well what to expect. It doesn't make it hurt less, though. We're not sure what the weekend holds, and I will try to post more often. :)

Lots of love from Seoul.

WHEW!

2010-06-07T20:25:00.000-07:00

After getting the email from our agency saying that we had the Guesthouse for the last couple days of our trip, I began to research some hotels. That was Friday. I booked the one that I had been looking into, on Saturday morning and then went on my merry way. Whew, big relief. Hotel, all done. Flights, done. We're good!

Then Sunday evening I decided to check my email. Received an email (from the hotel guy) stating that the booking wasn't a confirmation, and that the hotel I wanted was BOOKED. I'm sorry, say that again!? Yeah, panic! So then I called up the said hotel guy and asked him to help me find a hotel in the area near Eastern and this was his response: "It's too late. I will try but there is a wait list for people that are trying to book a hotel for those dates, in that area." Excuse me? WHAT?!?! Ummmm, we're leaving WEDNESDAY and you're telling me that it's too late?!!! Really, how is that possible? In a city as big a Seoul, there are NO hotel rooms available in the vicinity of Eastern?

So . . . I hopped on the internet and found us a place. Relatively near Eastern. The pickin' was slim, but not impossible. Thanks, but no thanks, pal. I mean, this should have been done last week, and I get that, but it's too late?! Sheeesh!

Crisis avoided and we are on our way to get our daughter. Insert massive smiley face here. Bags are (almost) packed. Maps are (semi) memorized.

We will meet her on Friday morning at 10:00 a.m. Which will be Thursday night @ 7:00 your time. Well, Colorado time (I think). My little Abram will be playing T-Ball when we meet baby sister. Weird. Then the rest is up to our Social Worker (in Korea) and Foster Mom.

We will keep you all posted and please continue to pray for little Joye (and us). Her world is going to change BIG TIME. We pray that the Holy Spirit will be with us all.

Super Junior

2010-06-03T09:33:00.000-07:00

I was looking a while back to see if CD's from Korea can be played on our players here in the US. Because DVD's have regions and if they are from Korea they won't play here. (Sorry if you already knew that) Anyway-upon finding that CD's are typically region-free, I found this little ditty and I thought I would share. Among KDrama's we are also totally addicted to music videos of Korean groups. Our FAVE is Super Junior. LOVE THEM! We also love SHINee and many others. Here's our favorite song right now from Super Junior. I am hoping to cash in on many CD's while we are over there. Because it's essentially FREE SHIPPING! HA!

Some Details

2010-06-01T10:29:00.001-07:00

Well, I just booked our flights! YAY! We are leaving NEXT Wednesday (a week from tomorrow). I thought it was going to be a little cheaper because we have a week between, ummmm . . . not so much! Oh well, we live 5 hours from Denver so we sprung for a little extra to fly there instead of driving. I REALLY wanted to fly Korean Air, Singapore Air or Aisana and it just wasn't possible. Kinda bummed about that, but in the grand scheme of things it's meaningless, really.

I still need to book the hotel, and see if the Eastern Guesthouse is available. Once I receive our flight conformation I will get to that. Otherwise I am just getting the "last minute things" done.

I can't believe that we will be in Seoul in a little over a week!

SO EXCITED!

Gimmie a T!

2010-06-01T08:16:00.000-07:00

And gimmie a C! Just got our Travel Call this morning! YAY! We are going to Seoul! I need to make a bazillion phone calls and then I will update with Travel info.

We're comin' baby girl!!!

I Highly Doubt . . .

2010-05-28T10:41:00.000-07:00

. . .that we will be traveling within the next week. And I'm OK with that.

We said that if our TC came yesterday or today, we would try to leave by next Wednesday. No calls either days. If we had TC, we would have been notified already. And I'm OK with that.

We lose a day with Memori@l Day being on Monday, because I doubt anything will be open to make travel possible, nevertheless get the call. And I'm OK with that.

There are A LOT of loose ends we have to tie up at the last minute and having more notice will make that A LOT easier. So, hoping for TC on Tuesday. Then we can book a little more in advance and have everything set to leave Wednesday, June 9th. Wednesday's are better for Chad's job and he will have Th, F, Sat and Sun. to recoup before heading back to work the following Monday. We are self-employed and really don't get 'paid' when he's gone. And I am totally OK with that.

She's just not ready yet. We have been praying since we saw her sweet, precious face that Our Awesome Creator would orchestrate the best time to go over and the best time to bring her home, safely. It's just not time - yet. I know it will be soon and until then, I trust in HIM. I have faith that whenever it's time, it will be perfect. And I am completely and utterly OK with that.

She's been Interviewed!

2010-05-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

To recap - I called the State Dept. Monday morning and they said she had been to the Embassy, had her picture taken and that our P3 had been returned. Which means that we had EP and that they are now working on her Visa. Then, at about 11:00a.m. on Monday our agency called and "asked for a favor." OK. They needed a Schedule C from our tax return. I guess because we are self-employed that's what they needed. OK. Looked through our tax stuff, NO Schedule C. Called our accountant, she gave me the skinny on what they needed. So, I send our personal and Business tax returns, our 1099 and w2. Not a problem. It all was sent to Korea Monday and it got to them Tuesday morning.

Didn't hear anything yesterday, and I really didn't intend to.

Called the State Dept. this morning and she had her Visa Interview YESTERDAY!!!!!

The lovely lady at the State Dept. said that the file is completed and ready for approval!!!! YAY!

So . . . . what does that mean, you ask? We could get TC tomorrow or Friday!!!!!!
COULD, nothing's for sure, of course.

I'm hoping that we get TC before Monday, because it's Memorial Day and everything will be closed. We'll see and I will keep you posted!!!

I can't believe it! I am going to see my baby girl, REALLY soon! *Goosebumps*

Update

2010-05-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

WOW. I can't believe that it has been TWO WEEKS since my last post! Yikes! There hasn't been anything to really post about lately. I plum ran out of things to list for Waiting Wednesdays. We've just been waiting and waiting around here. Well, we have had baseball EVERY NIGHT to keep us occupied. Both boys are in baseball, on different teams, with different practice times, on different nights. Yeah, I LOVE summer. :) It's been fun and it does tend to keep our minds off the whole adoption thing. Kinda.

We've also been watching the video that our agency brought back for us. I lost count how many times we have watched it. She's crawling. Really good. I'm sorry . . . . but my daughter is THE CUTEST little girl on the planet! No, REALLY! THE cutest! She's also pulling herself up on stuff. And can stand for a little while. She's still only 16lbs. Tiny. She'll fit in my Beco perfectly. TONS of hair. Seriously, I don't know what I am going to do with all that hair! It's pretty long, too! Love it!

I called the State Dept. twice last week and nothing. Nothing from our agency as well. Friday was Budd@'s Birthday and so I am assuming that Eastern and the Korean Government were closed, thus the reason for nothing on Friday. However, I decided to chance the State Dept. this morning and Joye's P3 has been returned!!! YAY!!! AAAAAAAAAAND she has had her Embassy Appearance already! Wooooooohooooooo! The lady said she has LOTS of hair with barrett's and that she is really cute! That's my girl!!!! Totally what I needed to hear. I am expecting to hear "EP Approved" from my agency now, although I kind of beat them to the punch!

We *could* be in Korea by next week! Possibly. I am still shocked, excited, stunned and most of all completely and utterly thankful. HIS promises are fulfilled and to HIM be the glory.

SUB . . .

2010-05-06T12:13:00.000-07:00

. . . MITTED! I ended up calling my agency yesterday because I just couldn't stand it anymore. I was seriously checking my email and phone 1,000 times a day waiting for some news. So I called and asked what-the-heck is going on. (Not really) I politely asked if they have heard anything from Korea concerning the EP's. NOPE.

Then this morning a friend was over and we were talking about adoption and stuff and she was asking me about our status and I said "No one knows." She brought her little cutie-patootie home in July and we did our training together and went through the same agency. So she knows the specifics of the process. Well, once she left and I raced to my email to see if there were any surprises. Um, YEAH! A cute little email saying the we were in fact SUBMITTED for our EP. THE BEST words I have heard in a LONG TIME. And new pics of our sweet, adorable little Joye. I know, THE best.

She has changed SO much. But still cuter than EVER.

We were quoted 3-6 weeks from Travel Call! It's actually on the calendar now. We can put "weeks" in the sentences instead of "months." Totally surreal.

I had a feeling we were submitted because she has had her Visa Physical, but knowing that we are on the next step feels much better! YAY for progress.

I am hoping like crazy that my other agency friends have heard the same good news!

Happy Birthday Joye!

2010-05-02T20:19:00.000-07:00

Today, my baby girl turns One Year Old! I can't believe it! I thought of her all day long yesterday, because that was when she probably celebrated her Birthday with her Foster Family. At about 9:00 last night I thought "I wonder what she is doing right now?" Because it was noon in Korea on the day she would be celebrating. I have no idea when the party was, but I can't WAIT to get some pictures!

The First Birthday is a BIG deal in Korea. They do it up BIG. It's called a Dol. They dress them up in their Hanboks and make up a HUGE table full of food and then lay some things out like a piece of thread, a pen or pencil, money, and I forget the other stuff. Anyway the babies are encouraged to pick something off the table. If they pick the piece of thread, they are said to have a long life. The pen or pencil means they will be a scholar. And the money usually means they will be wealthy in life. I wonder what Joye picked? I'm sure we will soon find out.

We celebrated our day in a different fashion. First, we went under the house an drug out all the pieces to Joye's crib. I just couldn't bare the thought of an empty crib for six months. So we decided to put it up today. So here it is.
We also retrieved the changing table top (from underneath the house as well) and I put it in the Laundry Room. We're going to take a stab at the whole Cloth-Diaper thing and so changing her in the Laundry Room makes sense. Wait to you see my collection of cloth diapers, oh so cute!
Then we hung her cute-little towel on her own little hook - right next to Wall-e and Spiderman (the boys' towels.)
Then we watched the first disk to "Stairway to Heaven" again. Our favorite KDrama. We wanted to watch the series again, to see what Lotte World looks like. Can't wait to visit there someday.

I then got started on supper, which looked like this - Bibimbop. LOVED IT. Not because I cooked it, but because it was really good. It's a keeper. I am going to have to make this more often.
We made confetti Cupcakes with PINK Cherry Frosting and blew out little Joye's candle for her.

The boys were able to blow out their own candle as well.

It was a good day. I was sad at first, when I got out of bed. But then I realized that it's a real special thing that she was able to spend her first birthday in Korea with her Foster Family. The pictures will be priceless. She had an authentic Dol, something that I can't give her here. I will have many, many more birthday's to celebrate in a lifetime. One away from her isn't going to kill me.

I missed her like crazy, though. And I can't WAIT to get her home.

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl! We love you more than you'll EVER know and we can't wait to have you here! (Happy Birthday to little Bee too, Joye's unofficial twin!)

Waiting Wednesday

2010-04-28T09:34:00.000-07:00

Yet another Waiting Wednesday and still nothing much to report on the adoption front. I hope something comes soon. I would LOVE some updated pics, a video or SOMETHING. Her first birthday is on Sunday and I hope to get some Dol pictures of her, at least. We'll see.

Anyways here is my list for the week:

10 things I LOVE about watching Korean Drama's. We have watched "Stairway to Heaven" and are now on "Be Strong Geum Soon." LOVE IT. There are four seasons of Geum Soon with seven discs of each season. There are six episodes on each disk. Yeah, we have been on this one for a while. I made a friendly wager with my hubby that we will finish the series before we get TC. He's more positive than me, he thinks that we will get TC before we finish. We just watched the third disk of season 4. We only have four disks left. We get one disk per week, on average.

We rent them through Netfl@x. And apparently, they're pretty popular. Because I can't seem to get my hands on more than one disk at a time. And they come from all over, not our local shipping center. I know, you can watch them on the computer for free, but I would rather watch them on the couch, comfortably. (Plus I want to win the bet.)

So here are the ten reasons I LOVE watching Korean Drama's:

1. The Language. I love hearing them talk. They are in English subtitles and it's actually not that bad, when you get used to it. But I love picking up on little phrases and the way they say things. Kaleb had an opportunity to earn a culture/language badge through Cub Scouts and we could actually come up with ten words that we have heard from these dramas. If I had an extra $400 laying around I would LOVE to buy the Rosetta Stone for Korean. I love learning different languages. Plus, it would be cool to have for when Joye gets older.

2. The Style. I love seeing what they wear and how they wear things. What types of things that are popular over there and what isn't. Pink is REALLY popular for guys to wear. I know it's getting to be more popular here, but they don't have the "girls wear pink and boys wear blue" think goin' on there. They put pink stuff on little boys and blue stuff on little girls. How different it is from here. Good different, that is.

3. Helps me understand the culture a little more. Geum Soon is a single mom and trying to raise her son on her own and she was abandoned by her mom when she was a baby. It really helps me to understand the pressure and difficulty birthmom's face. How "losing face" is so important. It has really helped me to understand the culture that my daughter is from. I have to remember that some of the movies/dramas that we make here in the US aren't indicative of our culture, per se. But it does give me an idea.

4. Helps me understand the people. Guem Soon is TOUGH. She never gives up. She goes through some hard things and just shakes it off and keeps going. I'm not saying that is an "Asian" thing because I am NOT fond of stereotypes. AT. ALL. But their way of life is tougher. It is. They sleep on the floor. With really nothing under them. The parents/in-laws in this drama sleep on a blanket on the floor. No mattress, no nothing. They sit on the floor. All. the. time. My back would be killing me! But they all have GREAT posture!

5. Helps me understand the social structure. Families are VERY important. VERY. It is at the center of their culture. They treat the older generations with respect and honor. That is something that our culture doesn't really adhere to. It's kind of sad. The older generation is regarded very highly in Korea, and I think that is really cool.

6. It's family-friendly. The boys sit down and watch them with us and I don't have to feel "on guard" the whole time. There are very few PG movies anymore, most are PG-13 or R. With that comes language, sexual content and drug references. My boys don't watch R, but I will let them watch a PG-13 here and there. Some of the things that are allowed these days is appalling. These Korean Drama's are perfectly clean. There is some very basic adult content but it is so subtle, the boys don't catch it. Kaleb LOVES watching them and looks forward to them every week. It's really cute.

7. Helps me to see how important mealtimes are. Seriously. Everything is based off of food. Instead of greeting someone, they ask "have you eaten yet?" They are ALWAYS eating. Which makes me hungry. I can't wait to try authentic Korean Food. Sometimes I just have to fix me some Ramen after watching them. It curbs the craving. And the dishes?! Yikes! They have like 20 little dishes each time they eat! BIG on side dishes. Makes my stomach growl just thinking of it . . . yum.

8. Respect. I respected my daughter's birth country going into this. But I really have developed a love and such an admiration for the Korean people. Although I have never been to Korea, I would love to go. There is just something pulling me to experience and meet the people. Because that's who my daughter is. She's Korean. She will always be Korean. Yes, she will live in America, but she was born in Korea. And I LOVE that about her.

9. The music. About 90% of the music in these Korean Drama's is American! Yeah, we just watched one with Leann Rimes playing in the background! HA! Who would have thought?! I love the Korean music in them though. It is so beautiful. LOVE the theme songs. LOVE the songs.

10. I learn so much when I watch them. They are just a tad soap-opera-y. Just a tad. Not much. But there are SO many secrets lurking around. It shows how hurtful secrets are. That is something we point out to the boys all the time.
Another thing is when they have a bone to pick - they pick it! They "call each other out" on things and make them come clean! It's really a learning thing for me. I'm NOT a secret person, but if I have beef with someone, I DO NOT call them on it (except my boys, I let them know when they are in the wrong.) Too much friction and confrontation. Ick. But it is neat how they are so forthright and up-front. They get it all out. :)

I just can't say enough good things about Korean Drama's. I am so thankful that we got turned on to them. It has been such a fun thing to have while waiting (for forever.)

So Happy Waiting Wednesday, AGAIN!

Waiting Wednesday

2010-04-21T14:05:00.000-07:00

Well . . . . . I made it. Barely.

I'm just going to do the one I had planned for last week. ;)

Ten songs that manged to get me through the wait. We're still waiting, but I have to say it is beginning to draw to a close. Finally.

1. "God you Reign" by Lincoln Brewster. Because who else reigns? He reigns over me, our adoption, my family. Yeah, HE reigns.

2. "Today is the Day" by Lincoln Brewster. "Today is the day, you have made and I will rejoice and be glad in it." Brings me back to VBS and Sunday School. But it is SO stinkin' true. Everyday is a gift, and I need to rejoice in it, even if my daughter isn't here yet.

3. "Everlasting God" by (you guessed it) Lincoln Brewster. LOVE THIS ONE. If I had to pick one, just one off this list, it would be this one. Just. so. good. LOVE the scripture embedded in it.

4. "Surrender" by (again) Lincoln Brewster. OK. I know, enough with the 'Lincoln Brewster' already. I'm sorry! He's very inspirational. I had to list all four because they literally helped me re-group the times I wanted to throw a pity-party. Honestly, they jolted me out of a pity-party -that might be a bit more realistic. LOVE Lincoln Brewster. (I bet you didn't know that already)

5. "Something Beautiful" by NeedtoBreathe. LOVE this song. LOVE the group. I'm pretty sure it wasn't written for my beautiful little daughter, but it might as well have been. The boys and I were listening to this song RIGHT before we got our Referral Call. I know, totally cool. Listening to it brings me back to that awesome morning. It's a keeper.

6. "Wonderin'" by TobyMac. This song has taught me SO much. There's a part in it that says "I'm wonderin' if my dreams will steal me from you." Spoke volumes to me. Put everything back into perspective.

7. "Hold On" by TobyMac. This song helps me think of our transition. You would have to hear it to know what I mean. The lyrics are SO powerful and help me to realize that if we 'hold on' to HIM, everything will be ok. (Plus is there a song that TobyMac makes that isn't totally awsome?! I don't think so!)

8. "It Won't Be Like This For Long" by Darius Rucker. Yeah, Hootie. Hootie went country and I love it! Wasn't sure at first, but it fits him. Anyway - this song is indicative of phases and transitions in life that will soon pass. AND to take advantage of things because they don't last long.

9. "There is a God" by Leann Womack. This song needs no explanation. Just. plain. good.

10. "I Will Wait" by Aaron Shust. I WILL wait. However long it takes. We're getting there, day by day!

I LOVE music and it can change my mood in an instant. I got this idea from my friend, Michelle. She made a list of songs for her son and it helps her through the wait. I started thinking about it, and I went back to these songs time after time for encouragement. So Happy Waiting Wednesday everyone! Now I need to start thinking for a list for next week!

Class B

2010-04-16T09:17:00.000-07:00

So . . . I missed Waiting Wednesday. I had a post all lined up and then was so busy that I forgot to post it! I know, pathetic. We have been busy finishing up school, add a couple Dentist appointments and putting together a Birthday Care Package for Joye and that results in NO time for blogging. Literally. So here we are on Friday and I have to make it a quick post. We are heading to Nanny's (my mom's) to help clean out the Chicken House. She blesses us with fresh eggs - it's the least we can do, ya know?

Anyways on to the exciting news. I just received an email from AAC stating that Joye has had her Visa Physical and that I need to send in a Class B waiver to Eastern to get her EP going! YAY! HUGE NEWS!!!!! It's just a paper stating that we realize that Joye is a little peanut and that she was born at a low birth weight. 5.2 pounds. She's just little and isn't in the target percentile for her age. No big deal. Good thing I stocked up on 12 month clothing - just in case. Looks like we won't be in the 18 month stuff for a while! That's ok! That could result in more shopping! :)

Great news. I did have a chance to catch-up last night and there is good news all over the stinkin' place! Friends getting close to VI and TC and rumors of EP's being submitted. Makes me all giddy! LOVING all the movement!

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Waiting Wednesday

2010-04-07T11:09:00.001-07:00

Yet another Wednesday passes and it's time for a theme. I have been feeling very excited about Joye coming home. It seemed so far away and out of reach, and now seems a bit closer. At night I think about the things that will change our lives forever when she finally comes home. The good things, of course.

10 things that I look forward to doing with Joye when she comes home:

1. Watching her sleep.

2. Snuggling with her.

3. Carrying her. With the help of the Beco that I have. :)

4. Playing with her on the floor.

5. Having her with us at mealtime and introducing foods to her. A little at a time.

6. Reading books to her.

7. Playing peek-a-boo and singing "Twinkle Twinkle" together. She won't understand a word at first, so I did get a Korean Children's CD to help us out a little.

8. Watching the boys play and interact with her.

9. Giving her kisses and telling her how much I love her.

10. Just being together. All of us. Seeing her little personality evolve. Getting to know her better each and every day.

I know the first couple nights home will be hard. She won't know us from strangers. But I pray everyday that her transition will go well. I just can't imagine being ripped from everything I know. My heart hurts for the fear and confusion she will face. We'll get through it and everything on my list will be totally worth it. :)

Happy Wednesday! One more down! How many more will there be, I wonder?

One More Month

2010-04-02T10:58:00.000-07:00

Happy 11 months to my precious, adorable little girl!

In one more month, Joye will be a year old. I really thought that I was going to be in a deep state of depression the closer I got to May 2nd. But I'm actually doing OK. Who knew? By the look of things, we are closer to bringing her home than ever before. September EP's have been submitted and that means we're (hopefully) next! YAY! I can't help but be excited and hopeful that all this waiting WILL eventually end!

The light is little, BUT it is at least present at the end of the adoption tunnel. YESSSS!

Happy 11 months Joye - can't WAIT to hold you in my arms for FOREVER!

Waiting Wednesday

2010-03-31T09:57:00.000-07:00

It's Wednesday again! Can you believe it?!

I am so running out of things to list for our Waiting Wednesday posts! So today, I decided to do ten things I highly doubt you know about me. I know, I know who cares! Right? Oh well, after this you can't say you don't 'know' me anymore! Ha!

1. I am a private/shy person. I had a major internal battle when I first started this blog. Truth be told, this blog has helped me to become more 'open.' It's helped me share my feelings and to let my guard down, so-to-speak. It has challenged me in more ways that I ever thought it would, which is a good thing. :)

2. I am a peacemaker. At heart. I HATE confrontation. I hate to rock the boat, stir the pot, or whatever else that causes friction. Hate it. ALL. It gives me anxiety just thinking about it. Whew.

3. I tend to be a realist. I look at the realistic side of things. That's my anchor. However, I find that this is hard to have when faith enters the mix. Think about it, it's really hard to have faith when you have a realistic mindset. The two are like oil and water. So I have learned to NOT be so realistic and trust faith a little. It has been successful in many occasions.

4. I'm left-handed. So is my little Abram. We complain about right-handed scissors and notebooks that have the rings on the left-side. Well, I do because he's five and doesn't really realize these things yet. But, you bet-your-booty that I am going to let him in on the ways of the right-handed world. Yes, sir! (ma'am)

5. I started young. I met my hubby when I was still in High School and was engaged my Senior Year. Was married the summer of my Freshman year in college (I was 19). Had Kaleb two years later when I was a Jr. in college. And was pregnant with Abram when I graduated college.
What . . . ? I wanted a family. Really bad. Wouldn't change a thing.

6. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Corporate Fitness and a minor in Business Administration. Who cares!? (I was running out of things to put, so since the last one was about being married and pregnant twice while in college, I thought I would put this one in.) Have yet to use the Corporate Fitness, BUT - I am using the Bus. Admin. Yay for me. :)

7. My hubby and I are in Business together with his parents, my mother-in-law and father-in-law. It's a family-owned business and I am the Office Manager/Treasurer. (This is where the Bus. Admin. comes in.) I cut checks and do the book-keeping side of things. I love budgets, numbers and all that good stuff. It fits me and I LOVE it.

8. I was a tom-boy growing up. My dear Mom tried to dress me up in frilly, lace-y, dresses and it just didn't stick. They were itchy. I didn't find my girl-y side until I became a mother of boys. Go figure. I still have a tom-boyish side to me, though. I love to go camping and shooting with the boys and I've been to the spa once in my life.

9. I love to cook and bake. I love trying new recipes and things I have never cooked before. I get bored with the same' ol thing night after night. I also like trying new restaurants and new things. I love different and for things to be changed up once in a while.

10. I LOVE being a Mom. Love it. I love being home. I love being with my children each day. I consider being a Mom an awesome privilege. A huge blessing. I'm not perfect at it, but I try my best. I consider it an honor to help direct and guide these precious beings into life. My Heavenly Father entrusted me, little 'ol me, with these little people. And for that I am forever grateful.

Well, that's it. 10 things about me. Just for fun. Hope you have a GREAT Wednesday!

Waiting Wednesday

2010-03-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

As the wait drags on, I am reminded of what we have been through from the beginning. So today I felt led to do 10 things that the journey of adoption has taught me. Here they are:

1. Patience. I put this at #1 for a reason. This one has been the hardest for me. I am NOT a patient person, by design - or so I thought. Am I as patient as I ought to be, sadly no. Am I more patient than I was 18 months ago? YEAH. This journey has given me a grand opportunity so exercise my patience muscle.

2. Faith. I would be lying if I didn't say my faith has been strengthened. Alot. When we were waiting for our referral, there were times when I wondered if the day would ever come that I would "meet" my daughter for the first time. It did. Now sometimes I wonder if she will ever be home. I have faith that she will. God has proved to be faithful throughout this entire journey.

3. Trust. Now, you might be saying, "faith and trust are the same." I thought they were too. But I go@gled them and they are in fact, different. Faith is believing the unseen. Trust is believing in spite of the evidence. I don't have trust in the process, the governments, the agencies. I have trust in God, in that HE is responsible for getting her home. He is responsible for approving her EP in His timing. I have trust in HIM and HIM only.

4. Love. Beginning this journey I knew about love. I knew it was powerful and deep. The love that I feel for this little girl is nothing I have ever experienced. Eventhough I have never met her, I love her just as much as my boys. She's my daughter, and I love her deeply. Everyday that I am away from her tears at my heart. If my boys were far from me for a long period, I miss them. Same things goes for Joye. The thought of missing her first birthday also makes me sad.

5. Knowing that everything works out for the good. Romans 8:28 is one of my favorites. "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." 'Nuff said.

6. To Listen. Listen to Scripture. Listen to the Holy Spirit. Listen. When everything around me is doubtful and uneasy, I stop and listen. I choose not to listen to the world. I choose to listen to Him. I have learned to stop talking, and listen. When I stop and listen, things become a lot more clear.

7. To be thankful - no matter what. This one is a tough one as well. It's really hard to be thankful when things don't go the way you planned. I NEVER thought that I would be waiting this long. NEVER. But I am thankful. I never imagined that my daughter would be over a year when she came home. But, I am thankful. I have to be. Because ultimately I am thankful for His provision, His timing and His process. None of it may make sense now, but it might later on.

8. Surrender. I have ab-so-lute-ly NO control over this whole thing. I thought I did, and boy was I wrong. I tried with all my might to control, but I just ended up exhausted and defeated in the end. Then, I surrendered. I have to say, life has been a lot more peaceful since then. I realize how much energy I wasted by trying to do it my way. As hard as it was to relinquish control, I'm really glad I did. I have used surrender in many more things in my life, and it really works. Valuable lesson for me.

9. Confidence. Not confidence in myself, but confidence in that this whole thing is going to turn out ok. I didn't have that when we first started. We had just lost the baby and my faith and confidence was shaken. Really shaken. Is Korea our country? Will we have the money? What if, what if, what if?

I now have confidence that we are where we're supposed to be, doing what we were meant to do and believing in the One who made it all possible. Confidence in Him.

10. Fulfillment. If you would have told me five years ago that we would be adopting a little girl from South Korea, I would have told you you were nuts. Literally. Literally nuts. Adoption, really? What? Where-the-heck is South Korea? Eventhough it would have sounded crazy five years ago, nothing feels more right. I truly believe that I was created to be an adoptive mother. I know, I don't have her home yet, haven't done the bonding thing, and haven't answered the tough questions about birthparents. I know that nothing about this is going to be easy. I know that. Parenting isn't easy, homeschooling isn't easy, marriage isn't easy. But I love all three. I was created to be a part of all three.

Is Joye our last child? Maybe, but I doubt it. God has broke my heart for those who don't have a mommy and daddy or a family. No one to tuck them in, bandage their boo-boo's, cuddle them when they have a bad dream. I am truly fulfilled in knowing that my Heavenly Father hand-picked this journey for us. I believe fulfillment comes with obedience. If HE calls us again, I will follow.

Happy Waiting Wednesday to all you waiters. With each WW post, I know that I am that much closer to bringing my baby home. And be encouraged, because the same thing goes for you! :)

Curriculum Questions

2010-03-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

I have had a few questions regarding what curriculum we use. There are literally millions to chose from. When Kaleb was just about 4-years old I started researching all the different curriculum that was offered. Thankfully, Chad's cousin had Homeschooled her children and gave me tons of magazines to look through. Plus she had some GREAT tips on what curriculum she used and that helped a bunch.

As I looked through all of the information out there, I became very overwhelmed. "Which one is best for my little guy?" I prayed ALOT, asking for guidance in where to go. I felt led to homeschool, but I wanted guidance it which curriculum that was best for us. Then, I received a flyer for a local material showing for Abeka. I thought I would give it a try. I really wanted to get my hands on and look through the material. I just couldn't make a decision by looking from the computer. I had heard about Abeka many times before.

So I went to the showing with an open mind. Let's just say I left the meeting completely convinced that this was an awesome program. We still use Abeka today. I started out thinking that we were just going to use on a year-to-year basis. As of now, I see no reason to change. Here's what I love about Abeka:

Everything is Scripture-based; Spelling tests, readers, and all of the ethics of teaching. The do-your-best mentality is weaved throughout each assignment. Plus, they start with the basics that were taught when our grandparents went to school. Reading, Writing and Arithmetic.

When I was is school, it seemed like (looking back) that everything was taught in sections. Like Time, Money, Adding, Subtracting etc. Abeka ties everything together. For instance, they teach counting by fives. Then when he gets that down, we learn the clock and that minutes are counted by fives. Then we learn the nickel. The principle gets cemented in their little minds. The way they do things makes perfect sense to me. That's why I love it!

I have heard many people chide Abeka because it's tough, structured and "too much work." I don't find that. I love it. I believe it prepares them for the world and the hard work that we all know is out there. I find it a great tool for teaching boys to develop a great work ethic.

Again, everyone is different. That's what makes this world great and diverse. :)

Now, I haven't used their (Abeka) Bible program, because it was a little on the pricey side. So I went with Alpha and Omega. We're switching next year, I didn't care for their Bible either. Next year we are going with The Explorer Series. It really gets into Scripture in detail and I read a review of Bible curriculum's and that is what the reviewer liked the most. I like it too.

Please feel free to email me with any questions. jbaxter0619(at) yahoo(dot) com

Sorry for the very long and very detailed post to such a simple question. :)

Waiting Wednesday

2010-03-17T18:10:00.000-07:00

I love Homeschooling. I love being home. I know many families can't stay home with their children and I understand that. Homeschooling is SO perfect for our family and here are 10 reasons why I am so thankful for it:

1. Being able to monitor what exactly my precious children are learning. Notice I said monitor instead of control. Big difference, no? (not really)

2. Being able to pray over each lesson and start each day with prayer.

3. Being able to find the right curriculum that fits each child. Although both boys are using the same curriculum, IF the need be I could research and change it, if I wanted to.

4. Having the freedom of adjusting school to our schedule. Like this year we allotted an entire month (we actually thought baby sister was going to be home before we got done with school, what were we thinking) to adjust to having a little one. Now we'll be done April 16th.

5. Doing school in our Jammies.

6. Sometimes we start at 8:00 sharp and sometimes we start at a little after 9:00. No biggie, it all gets done, eventually.

7. Building a strong foundation. This scripture that is painted on the wall of our homeschooling room helps me to realize what this is all for. "For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 3:11. Building a foundation strongly rooted in Christ.

8. Being able to do lessons in the morning and then having the rest of the day to play, meet with friends and go places.

9. I am re-learning right along with them. I just recently found out how interesting History is and now enjoy re-buffing my math skills. Who knew you could do this at thirty-years-old?

10. Watching them learn and seeing their progress from year to year.

Again, I DO NOT judge those who Public School. I know each does his/her own and what is best for their family. This is what is best for ours. I am very thankful for the opportunity to be their teacher.

Fashion Friday

2010-03-12T06:36:00.000-08:00

In light of all the clothes that I have accumulated and the fact that they aren't doing anything - yet. Kara and I have decided to pull out some of our favorites and put them to good use. They have to earn their keep, right?

Because I have seen the adoption wait string out in front of me, I have relented to buying 18-24 month clothes. I am just not sure how big she will be when she comes home. SOME of the stuff I have is 12 months, but very little. She was a little peanut, well littler than my boys, when she was born and so I wonder if she will be petite. I have only received one update and she was below the 'normal' weight and length for her age. Anyway, I can get by on the few outfits I have and then always get more later.

Here are some too-cute jammies that I got for her. Can't WAIT to snuggle with her in these. :)

Every Fourth of July, we go to a local celebration called Cherry Days. It's called that because the cherry trees are usually weighed down with ripe cherries. Chad and I have gone every year since we first started dating. So that would be . . . thirteen years, this year. Every year we say, "by this time next year. . . " Last year we said "we should have baby sister by then." If I don't have her home by the Fourth of July Celebration I am going to cry. A good meltdown/breakdown cry.

See the little cherries on this adorable dress? What-the-heck am I going to do with THIS if she's not home? Huh? Tell me! (Sigh) Anyways, this was the first 'dress' that I broke down and finally purchased. And it's a 12 month. So she has to be home. Has. to. be. Can't use it for next year.
(She will - gotta think positive, gotta think positive!)

(Above) is the little bloomer-type pants that go with it. And (below) is the dress in it's entirety, cute huh? I though so.

I got this cute-little-thing on sale. Brown . . . pink, had to get it.

Well, that's it for this week. Those are my favorite's. I can't wait to see my girl IN all of them . . . soon.

(late) Waiting Wednesday

2010-03-10T19:47:00.000-08:00

(almost missed it - again)

Anyway, here are 10 things that I have been doing lately to keep my mind off of EP! :)

1. Spring Cleaning.

2. Organizing Joye's closet. There is LOTS of pink, by the way.

3. Tax stuff. Nothin' like some good 'ol fashioned tax stuff to keep the mind busy. Ick.

4. Listening to TobyMac. He has a new album out, you know. It's awesome. I can drift away and forget about the wait. Only for a moment, though.

5. Homeschooling. Six weeks to go. My intention was to get done early, that way we would be ready for our Travel Call. Yeah, now what am I going to do?

6. Thinking about setting up Joye's crib. I was going to do it once we got I600 approval, but I think we'll wait until we get EP. :)

7. Memorizing this Scripture:
"Humanly speaking it is impossible. But with God everything is possible." Matthew 19:26

8. Praying, with #7 in mind.

9. Stalking the Holt BB, to see if any other Eastern families have any news. Sad, I know.

10. Realizing that nothing can take my mind off this wait, indefinitely. I just have to keep my eyes on Jesus and pray for patience as we make our way through to the end of His perfect plan.
I know this will all be worth it when our sweet girl is home, safe in our arms.

Waiting Wednesday

2010-03-03T11:03:00.000-08:00

These Waiting Wednesday's really sneak up on me. :)

I missed last weeks'. :(

So here are ten things that I am very thankful for:

1. A Savior that lovingly died for my sins. And no matter the sin, if I ask, it is immediately forgiven.

2. A loving Husband and best friend.

3. The two beautiful boys that I wake up to every morning.

4. Homeschooling, and being able to be home with those two beautiful boys everyday.

5. I am so-very-thankful that it's getting closer to spring. I love that it's getting warmer, even though March can be one of the snowiest months for Colorado.

6. A loving and supportive family that we are so-very blessed with. Love 'em ALL!!

7. Our beautiful daughter. I am SO blessed to have her and to be able to be her mother for the rest of her life.

8. Adoption. I am so thankful for Adoption. Even though the bureaucratic red tape, increased waiting times, and overall up's and downs are extremely difficult, I am so thankful to be on this journey.

9. A roof over my head. I know it may seem menial, but there are SO many that are without homes in the world and even a place to call their own. Especially in these hard times.

10. Food. Again, I am so thankful that I am able to go to the store and purchase food for all of us.

Do you have time for a story? It's a short one.

Our Pastor was in the process of adopting a little girl (10 y.o.) from Haiti when the earthquake happened. They were VERY shook up, to say the least, when the news broke. Anyway, she was one of the first to come 'home' after the quake. They have sent us updates letting us know how they are adjusting, etc. One thing that stuck with me was that this little girl was so enamored by the fact that groceries were so plentiful and came in bags. I really don't think she has ever seen such a thing - living in Haiti for the past ten years, I highly doubt it. When they come home from the store, she is just amazed at the sight of all the food.

Something I take for granted.

I take all that I have for granted. And that is what makes me so-very thankful.

Happy. . . Sad

2010-03-02T08:00:00.000-08:00

Happy 10 months to my little, sweet Joye! I CANNOT believe that she is 10 months already! I had to do the math a couple of times, just to make sure. And the ticker in the sidebar confirmed it as well.

In two months she will be a year old. (Sigh)

THAT makes me sad. Really sad. Will we see her in the next two months? I don't know. I hope so, but honestly it would be a miracle. Could it happen? Absolutely! Is it realistic? Unfortunately, no.

I'm preparing my heart that she will be a over a year old when she comes home. BUT our Heavenly Father is still in the miracle-making business, and so I DO have hope in that.

However, I am thankfully happy that she is a part of our lives, even though she's not physically here yet. And I am happy that we are on this journey, and that she is so stinkin' adorable!

--------------------------------------

On the paperwork side, if you haven't already noticed in our timeline, we are NVC in AND NVC out!! YAY! Now, all of our 'stuff' has made it's way to the US Embassy in Korea! When we were logged out of NVC, the very nice lady said that it had been sent to the Embassy that day. So it's official, ALL of our United States (or stateside) stuff is completed! Whew.

Now what?

Well, now that our stuff is at the US Embassy, our P3 (or packet 3) is compiled and then given to the Agency (Eastern Social Welfare Society) in Korea. Once they pick up our P3 from the Embassy, that is known as 'P3 out.' I was going to call and see if we are P3 out, but yesterday was a holiday in Korea, so I will call maybe today or tomorrow.

Beyond the 'P3 out' is where we are currently stalled. And will be for a while, I'm afraid. We have quite a few family and friends following along with us on our journey so I am going to take a moment to explain this part of the process.

Hang on. It's kind of confusing.

When we signed the oodles of paperwork (back in November), stating that we intend to adopt Joye, called acceptance, all of that information was sent to Korea. Usually after that, Eastern (Korean agency) will begin to prepare our EP or Exit Permit. This allows Joye to leave Korea. So normally once you are in the P3 stage, your EP is waiting for you. That's not the case for us.

Currently, there is an EP backlog. Families from last year are still waiting for their childrens' EP. This backlog is what lodged our typical 3 month wait (from referral to travel call), to a 6+ month wait. Eastern (Korean agency) has MANY US agencies it deals with. So it is unclear how exactly they are processing these infamous EP's. One can only guess. 'Word on the street' is that July/August EP's are currently being processed. It differs with each US agency. We are a November Acceptance, so that's where we stand.

SO, now that our P3 is at Eastern (or should be soon) we will wait to hear for the glorious day when we are submitted for EP. Please pray that The Ministry (people that are responsible for approving EP's in Korea) will push through and grant them quickly. There are SO many of us waiting on this step. Many who have been waiting for EIGHT months to bring home their baby. Eight . . . Months! Please join us in praying these sweet children home!

Once we hear something, we will let everyone know. Otherwise, we will be on our knees praying for a miracle!

I600 Approved!

2010-02-21T12:53:00.000-08:00

We got our i-171H in the mail yesterday. This means that our I600 has been approved and is on it's way to the National Visa Center in New Hampshire!! YAY! I will call the NVC tomorrow (Monday) and I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I bet we are already logged in! Hopefully. Our I600 was approved on the 16th, so we 'should' be. I'll find out tomorrow.

What does all that mumbo-jumbo mean? The National Visa Center 'logs' our I600 (immigration approval stating that we are ok to bring Joye into the U.S.) into their system then 'logs' us out, known as NVC in and NVC out. NVC out means that our I600 is on it's way to US Embassy in Seoul. The Embassy will then compile other documents needed along with our I600 to form our P3. Now, like always, I will stop there. This week we 'should' have NVC in and NVC out.

Why are these dates important? It just helps me to know that our paperwork has arrived to it's destination. It's just a checkpoint of sorts. So stay tuned, I will keep you posted. And then we will move on to the next step!

I had to share this . . .

2010-02-19T14:00:00.000-08:00

Waiting THURSday . . .

2010-02-18T11:20:00.000-08:00

'cause I didn't make it on Wednesday. We have all been sick 'round here. Ick. I am sick and tired of kleenex, boogers, motrin, fevers and everything to do with all of it. Sick. And. Tired.

Kaleb was so willing to 'share the love' with us all about a week ago. Then Abram got it, then, you guessed it, I got it. MAN, it was a nasty one too. Now were all on the mend, well, kind of. While laying on the couch yesterday, I did have time to think about my theme for the infamous Waiting Wednesday post, but I just couldn't pull my but off the couch to type it up. SO, here it is . . . on Thursday. I'm sure you all understand. :)

IF (and it's still a BIG if) we end up going to Korea to pick up our sweet, adorable little girl, here are some things that I would love to experience while we are there. For the record, Chad and I really want to go and have our passports (his is in process) just in case, BUT we aren't 100% positive that we are in fact going. I know, talk about wishy-washy. We are tentatively planning to go to Korea, but there is a slight possibility that we might escort. Make sense? Believe me, you'll know when the time comes. When we talk about traveling vs. escorting, these ten things make traveling a much more appealing option.

10 Visiting the DMZ, a.k.a the Demilitarized Zone. The 38th Parallel that separates North Korea from South Korea. Seoul isn't very far from the DMZ and it's somewhere we would like to visit. It looks pretty interesting.

9. Lotte World. For those of you who don't know, it is like Disneyl@nd in Korea. It's the largest indoor theme park in the world. Plus, our first Korean Drama that we saw and fell in love with is "Stairway to Heaven" and many scenes were filmed at Lotte World. Can't WAIT to go here. I'm pretty sure we could spend an entire day just hangin' around in Lotte World.

8. The Food. Oh yeah. Maybe not all the food, (I've heard there are some pretty crazy things offered in Korea) but the regular stuff like Bulgogi, Kimchee and many other things. I have list of restaurants we have to try while we are there. Definitely looking forward to the food.

7. The Eastern Nursery. Eastern is the agency in Korea that facilitates the adoption stuff on Korea's behalf. This is where we will meet Joye for the first time (not in the nursery, but another meeting area) and the nursery is where the newborn babies are until they are assigned a Foster Family. Families can go in and help hold and love on the babies. How cool would THAT be?

6. Experiencing the culture first-hand. Just to clarify, I am NOT against escorting. I think some do what's best for their family and, again, we may chose this option. However, I have talked to many Adoptive Families and asked their opinion and they all collectively say, "GO!" Now, if we do escort, there is an option of going back as a family and we have talked about this, as well. There are many benefits to going to Korea and experiencing Joye's culture is a BIG one for us.

5. Meeting Foster Mom/Family. This is another big one for us. I would love to meet the woman that took care and loved on my daughter. I would love to give her my appreciation and thankfulness in person. Also, get first-hand information on how Joye likes to be held, tips on how to help her to fall asleep, what she eats, things she likes and doesn't like. VERY important information.

4. Shopping. I have been trying to tell my dear sweet hubby that we need an entire suitcase for all the stuff that we are going to bring back. He's STILL not down with that idea. I don't know if it's because he doesn't want me to spend tons of money or that he knows that he will be responsible for juggling THREE suitcases on the way back. Because I'll have Joye to contend with, I can't be dealing with the suitcases! I'm still not quite sure why he's against it. ;)
It's not that big of a deal. j/k

3. In addition to experiencing the culture of Korea, I would love to have pictures, videos and memories to show Joye someday. So #3 is PICTURES. Lots and lots of pictures. Pictures of our first meeting, pictures of Seoul, pictures of us with Foster Mom holding Joye. Just memories of how she came to be a part of our family. I have labor and delivery pictures of the boys' birth-days. This would be the same thing, by definition.

2. Possibly visiting the Hospital where she was born. Joye wasn't born in Seoul. She was born in a province south of Seoul. This is something that we just recently started talking about. It really depends on how far it is, and how much trouble it will be to get there. If it happens, great! If not, no big deal. I'll have to talk to AAC and see how feasible it is. It would be nice, for sure.

1. And the number one reason, we want to go to Korea is . . . to be able to bond with her, get to know her, and just 'be' with her as she flies to the United States. The separation from her Foster Mother will be tragic, and I want to be the one that can comfort her and just hold her while she grieves. This is really the biggest motivator for me. Will she bond if we escort? Yes! It's really a personal choice for me, I really want to be the one that gets her after she leaves the only woman she has ever known. I don't know why. I just do. If we escort, I'll get over it.

When we weigh the two decisions, there are many things we consider. We would LOVE for us all to meet her together. But in terms of my 'Mommy instinct', I just want to be there with her, when she leaves Korea. Selfish? Maybe. But in the end, I know that our Creator will lovingly guide us to the right decision.

To those of you who have been to Korea, what was your favorite things to see/experience?
Do tell! I would love to put more things on my list!

Long overdue.

2010-02-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally did it. I fixed my header, which needed some major TLC. AND gave this bad boy (blog) a new look! It was in bad shape and really needed an overhaul. I mean, really needed it.

It took me forever to fix the header, and with my not-so-great computer skills it's not too shabby! At least it fits inside the border now! It's done, and I love it! What do YOU think?

Waiting Wednesday

2010-02-10T15:39:00.000-08:00

I almost forgot that today is Wednesday! Wouldn't that be a bummer if I missed out on the Waiting Wednesday's post! I think so!

So here are 10 girly things that make having a daughter much more special:

1. Pink.

2. Pigtails, ponytails, braids and just being able to fix her hair.

3. Nail Polish. The glittery kind.

4. Dresses. Especially Easter ones.

5. Shopping together. For clothes, of course.

6. Cute dressy, polka-dot, frilly and everything else that makes girls shoes adorable.

7. Watching Cinderella and Snow White, instead of Star Wars and The Military Channel.

8. Purple-instead of Camo.

9. Girls day's where the boys are camping and it's just her and I.

10. Color-coordinating her outfits with clippies, shoes and all the accessories. Boys are kind of funny with the color-coordination thing. I've tried, and it just doesn't stick. My husband tells me it doesn't matter. But NOW it does!

Fear

2010-02-09T05:58:00.000-08:00

Fear is a word that is very well-known in every language. I think everyone has a fear of something. Fear of spiders. Fear of snakes.

One very-real fear that keeps me awake at night and ransoms my thought throughout the day, is how will my daughter receive me when I meet her for the first time. Will she scream? Will she smile? There is no doubt how overwhelming that moment will be for her.

I have a picture-perfect scenario run through my mind occasionally, she will just supernaturally "know" who I am, wrap her arms around my neck and smile uncontrollably. Yeah, right. That's how I hope it will be. That's what I pray for everyday. But, reality sets in and I begin to wonder how the whole thing will play out. Then, fear sets in. Maybe she will hate me, deny me and reject me? Maybe she will scream bloody murder when I take her away from her beloved Foster Mother. Not want to look at me. Prefer Chad over me. I could go on and on.

This morning I was reading one of my favorite books. I haven't finished it yet, but would highly recommend it. "Praying the Names of God" by Ann Spangler. She talked about how we are sheep and how God is our Shepherd. That we fear many things, like sheep, and can get lost, just like sheep. She then quoted this insightful masterpiece:

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness,
for His names sake.
Even though I walk through the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
For you are with me;
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Psalm 23

He is with me. Always. I can cast my fears upon Him, because He can take them. And in return He will "restore my soul" and give me peace. Only He can comfort me. Only He can shepherd me in the right direction.

One thing I don't fear, is death and where I am going when I die. I am not going to Heaven because I write Scripture on my blog and go to church. Salvation is not earned. It is given, as a gift. If there are any sheep out there that want this priceless gift and a Shepherd with you, guiding you, protecting you, and loving you unconditionally, then say this out loud as you read it.

Dear Lord Jesus,

I admit that I am a sinner. Everyone is. Today, I realize that I need you. I can't do this by myself. I believe that You are God's one and only Son. I believe that You came to earth as man. I believe that You died on the cross to pay the price for my sins. I also believe that you rose from the dead, conquering death itself. Jesus, with that faith I confess my sins to You and ask for your forgiveness. I believe that You alone can wash away my sins, and I ask You to occupy my heart. Replace my heart with Yours. Guide me in Your direction. I give you my fears, concerns, failures and I ask for Your peace and tranquility. From this day forward I promise to love You and seek you in all I do.
In Your precious name I pray, Amen.

May the Holy Spirit be upon you as you walk through life as a new being. Welcome to the Kingdom!

Waiting Wednesday

2010-02-03T09:22:00.000-08:00

My fellow adoption blogging buddy, Kara, started doing "Waiting Wednesday's" and I thought I would join along. It helps to pass the time. Each week has a theme. Based on my post yesterday, I am doing my 10 favorite scriptures that have given me hope and helped me through this roller-coaster called adoption!

1. "Don't be impatient for the Lord to act! Travel steadily along His path. " Psalm 37:34a&b

2. "In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." John 16:23-24

3. "Don't worry about anything: instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done." Philippians 4:6

4. "I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" Jeremiah 32:27

5. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

6. "Have you never heard or understood? Don't you know that the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of His understanding. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths will become exhausted and young men will give up. But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. The will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:28-31 I LOVE THIS ONE!!

7. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8

8. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21

9. "For the pagans run after all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." Matthew 6:32-34

10. "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, and only few find it." Matthew 7:13-14

I CAN get through this wait.

Happy 9 months!

2010-02-02T15:48:00.000-08:00

My little Joye is 9 months today! I can't believe it. When we first started down this road and we began to tell people that we were adopting, the first thing they asked was "how old?" At the time, I said " she should be about 8-9 months old when we bring her home." Well, we are officially past the 9 month mark and really don't see the end in sight. Well, there is an end, it's just not as close as I would like it to be. I truly believe that we ARE going to have Joye home, but I just don't know how it will all work out. I feel really selfish when I say that I want to have her home by her first birthday. But I REALLY do. I feel for the mom's that have had to wait past that year mark, and some are STILL waiting. It breaks my heart.

We are still waiting on our I600, but it's because of MY stupid mistake. When we received Joye's referral, my agency sent me a form to re-submit our Department of Human Services background check. It had expired while waiting for forever for a match. It has to be current for us to finalize. So I thought it was no big deal. With the six months it would take to bring her home and then six months to finalize, I thought "I'll wait a little while and make sure it's current when we finalize." BIG mistake. My agency called last Monday asking where the current form was and when I mailed it. Ummm . . . it's still sitting on my desk. :) So I rushed down to the post office and sent it in. USCIS actually called my agency asking for it! Yeah, great. Who knows how long that takes and the USCIS probably put us at the bottom of the pile for not having our ducks in a row. And rightly so, I should have sent it off. I have been kicking myself for a week.

I'd like to think that this hang-up will catch-up to Korea in due time, but who knows. Korea is still behind in processing EP's. To be honest, I'm getting weary. I want ALL of our children home, not just mine. I'm trying to find the good in it all, but I just can't. Not today. I've been in a *negative* funk for a week. I can't shake out of it. It all seems so far away. Unreachable.

I know that it will eventually happen, but for now I'm just going to take it one day at a time and see what will become of it. There's really nothing else I can do. It's out of my hands.

Fingerprints: Done

2010-01-14T12:01:00.000-08:00

All of us went to our local United States Citizenship and Immigration Services, affectionately called USCIS, office this morning and arrived at about 8:10 a.m. It wasn't that we were totally excited or anything, Chad had to get back to work a.s.a.p. Luckily, they weren't very busy, BUT apprearantly my fingerprints are hard to read. Who knew? It took them about 45 minutes to get them all, and approved what they got. Whew! Chad's took all of 15 minutes! What? I know, weird. Him being in the Painting (with chemicals) business, I thought for sure his would be the harder of the two, but no. Oh well . . . they're done and now we just wait for our I-171H.

This tells us that our I600 is indeed approved and we then move on to the next step. It (I-171H) will come via snail mail and then everything is off to the National Visa Center in New Hampshire. Then it's 'logged in' and then 'logged out'. Known as NVC in and NVC out. This step usually takes about a week. Once logged out, everything is then sent to the US Embassy in Seoul. We'll stop there. Let's just focus on the step we're in now. OK? Allllllrighty then.

Fingerprint Letter!!

2010-01-13T16:57:00.000-08:00

Kaleb just checked the mail and our beloved Fingerprint Letter was in there! YAY!

Hopefully we can get down there tomorrow, but it depends on Hubby's schedule. Knowing him, he'll work it out.

Next Step: I600 aprroval.

NEW for the New Year

2010-01-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, we were heading off to Cub Scouts and I thought I would check my mail. In my lovely mailbox was a small envelope from our agency. I wasn't expecting anything from them(??) Inside were NEW pictures of my baby girl, with a NEW outfit that we sent her in our care package!! To say I was delighted would be a total understatement! Doesn't she look like an ornery little booger in this one (above)? We couldn't help but love the little look she has!

I know, breath-taking! I'm sorry, but she is THE cutest little girl on the planet. Seriously. It looks like she *might* have had a haircut. I cannot believe how much she has changed! I remember when my agency friends got updated pictures of their children when I was still waiting for a referral and I couldn't believe how much the babies changed from one photo to the next. And now I STILL can't believe it!

I think the boys ache to have her home just as much as Chad and I do. After they looked at the pictures long and hard, both of them had a tinge of sadness come over them. " I really want baby sister home - now!" I hear ya boys, I totally hear ya.

Speaking of getting her home, there are some major checkpoints that we have hit since last year- meaning 2009 (just thought I would clarify.) :) I had to enter in a third year on our timeline in the sidebar, it's getting preeeetty lengthy.

1. Homestudy was approved by the state on 12/7. (YAY!) This was a VERY big one for Chad and I. Some friends of ours had a big hang-up on this one. Our approval came one year (exactly to the DAY) from our first homestudy meeting. Ironic? -I think not!

2. Our USCIS was submitted directly after that and got our I600a ball rolling. On the 23, on Christmas Eve Eve, we got our I797C. Which basically stated that our I600 paperwork has made it's way to where it should go and a file has been opened for us and sweet baby Joye.

Next step: Fingerprint letter from USCIS. It comes via mail and then Chad and I hop on down to get our Federal Fingerprints at our local office. After those are done . . . we wait for our I600 approval. We have been prepared to wait 90 days for this step. Hoping and praying it won't be, but we are prepared for it.

3. And last, but not least, my baby girl turned 8 months old on the 2nd. Sigh. There are times when I get sad that I'm not there for each day that she turns older, but yet, I know that this is part of the process. Part of the journey. I know that I will be with her . . . someday. I know that each day she's away from us, she is being cared for by a wonderful, loving woman. I know that there is a special Angel that watches her sleep, eat and learn new things. I know that our Heavenly Father holds her in His hand while we are so far away. I know that there will be an end to this waiting, eventually.

Belated Birthday

2009-12-30T14:28:00.000-08:00

Happy Belated Birthday to my Kaleb! He turned 8 on the 27th. Better late than never, right?!

I tried to put a post together but with Christmas and his party and all of us having a cold, today is the day it made it's way to the blog. :) Happy Birthday K!

Kaleb is a very special guy. He's very sensitive and caring. If I am having a bad day, he will ask me what's wrong and try to make it better. If I cry, he cries. He has such a special tenderness to him that I absolutely love. (His wife will too, someday.)

He is a VERY good big brother. He cares for Abram deeply. He shows him things, helps him when he needs it and Abram ADORES him. He calls him "bubba." Abram LOVES his Bubba. Don't get me wrong, they have their typical sibling tendancies, but I pray that they will be just as tight as they get older.

He also loves his baby sister. He whoops and hollers (sp?) right along with us in each step of the adoption process. He's not too crazy about anything "girl-y" so this will do him some major good. It's been a boy's world around here for way. too. long.

Kaleb loves Baseball, playing Wii and is a Wolf in Cub Scouts. Of the three, I think Scouts wins hands-down. It has been THE BEST program for him. He's met some real great boys and has learned so much. He tells me how much he wants to be an Eagle Scout, at least once a month. He's very smart. His favorite subject is Arithmetic. His least favorite is Health.
Typical boy. ;)

(Clorox! Where?!)

He loves to be near all of us and is a big family boy. The more family around, the happier he is.

Going camping this past year, was a big thing for him. He learned how to cast and caught his first fish by himself. I don't think a day goes by without him telling me how much he misses fishing. He can't wait to go next year. I HOPE Joye is a camper! If not, it's a good reason for the "girls" to stay home once in a while!

Happy Birthday sweet Kaleb, and may the LORD bless you in each step you take in this journey of life. I love you.

Cultural Exchange

2009-12-18T09:05:00.000-08:00

I remember in High School having Foreign Exchange students in my classes. I always thought it was kinda cool. A student traveling half-way across the world to my little town to learn the American culture. I thought alot of the people that made it possible.

I received an email from a lady from the Face the World Foundation, that happend upon my blog while researching interesting facts about S. Korea. She is looking for Host Families that would be interested in taking in a student from Korea . . . eleven students to be exact. I was very interested, to say the least. She just simply asked me to forward on her information to families that I knew that *might* be interested. So I did. Then she sent me seven profiles of seven High Schoolers from South Korea that were interested in the exchange. In the profiles are their pictures, family information, hopes and dreams for the future, grades and letters to their prospective Host Families. I have one handsome fella already picked out. However, I have to remember that we *might* be traveling to Korea this late spring/summer. That's cool, he can come with us, spend time with his family while we pick up baby sister. How cool would it be to have a guy that can show us the "real" side of Korea! He'll miss a big chunk of school - but maybe it will be during Spring Break! Then I started thinking about the living arrangements. He'll have to occupy baby sister's room. A teenager needs his space, ya know!

Many of the profiles say "active," meaning they want to be in every program imaginable. Well . . .wouldn't you want to be in every program offered at that age, exprience that culture first hand? You! Bet! Then, I began to think "can I offer this young man everything that he wants to exprience while catering and bonding to my daughter?" Sadly, no. My heart says "absolutely!" but unfortunately my logic says "definately in the future." I'm sure there are many of you out there with the same reservations. BUT if there are some of you out there that would LOVE the opportunity right now, I have the contact information that will get you started.

Meanwhile, let me leave you with a letter from one of the students that is waiting for an exchange. It is intended for his prospective host family and the letter is in his words.

"Dear Host Family,

This is (name omitted) who is really looking forward to metting you very soon.

I am going to introduce my family members : father, mother, younger brother and myself. We have two cats and they are also our family members. All of my family member is very kind and love to enjoy sense of humor.

I love to play soccer and I have many friends who can play games with me. We usually meet at playground in school. If possible, I would like to participate in school soccer team. I can make many friends and lessen stress through playing soccer.

I have a dream to travel all around the world. I do not want to live just in my country. If possible, I want to experience many other cultures and learn their strong point. I am sure it will make me more responsible and mature. Eventually, I want to be a world citizen. I am sure being an exchange student is my first step to make my dream come true. I really want to experience as much as possible with my host family and new friends. I am sure I am well prepared and will do my best.

I really appreciate to you for inviting me into your family. I will do my best to be your family member so please do not hesitate to ask me anything that I am supposed to do as your family member. I will respect your family rule and keep trying to good relationship with all of your family member. I deeply understand it is not easy decision to host foreign student for one year. I really thanks again and I am sure we can make wonderful memories together.

God bless you and your family and take care!

See you soon~

Sincerely yours,

(name omitted)"

I read this, and everything in me wanted to start the process. Isn't it the cutest letter?! They all study English for 4+ years and I think he did a pretty awesome job! I will moderate the comments, to keep it more private for those that want information. Leave your email and let me know! You can also get information on the website if you'd rather.

Legals!

2009-12-14T15:37:00.001-08:00

I just checked my mail, and there was a pretty-little-nilla-envelope in there waiting for me! The letter was dated December 10, so that's the date I'm going with. "What are 'legals' exactly?" you might ask? They pretty much state that our agency will be the guardian of little Joye until we finalize (~ six months after she's home). Nothing can get the ball rolling without these. Next step is State Approval and I600 submission.

State Approval is when our beloved Homestudy and legal paperwork are submitted to the State for an approval to adopt. Sometimes they can ask for clerification on certain things and that could delay the process. I have two friends from our agency that had a hiccup with State Approval. Hoping to sail on through with no delays. Normal time-frame for this step is 2-3 weeks.

Also, our I600 is now to be submitted for approval. This is the immigration stuff that I mentioned in a previous post. I won't bore you with the details, it's just the state-side stuff that needs to be done to get our baby home! We will get a letter (I171) in the mail stating that we are approved. I believe that with this letter we (Chad and I) get the okey-dokey to get fingerprinted. We then head to a local USCIS office to do that.

The "word" in the adoption community is that all of the I600 cases are headed to Dallas for approval. I'm not sure if this will be quicker than before, or longer. Either way, normal time-frame for this step is 6 weeks to 90 days. I, again, knew MANY people that waited the full 90+ days and it was excrutiating - to say the least. That puts us at March, at the latest, just to get the US stuff done. I know alot of people are asking "how long, how long?" so I thought that I would just put that out there. Baby Joye could EASILY be spending her first birthday with her Foster Family. I'm ok with that. Chad says I have to be optimistic and have faith. I do. I'm optimistic that she will be home, eventually, and I have faith that it will be at the perfect time. :)

Our agency also sent us some updated pictures of Joye and THE most adorable video I have ever seen. It shows her opening our care package that we sent and looking at our pictures in the photo album we made for her. She really studies them. It is SO cute. We sent a little doll with a rattle in it and she is so enamoured by that doll, that they can't get her to look up. They placed it out of her reach and she gave a little cry. Melted. my. heart. At the end, Foster Mom sat her up and then she looked up and then smiled and rocked from side to side while sitting. Too cute. Here are some of my favorite pics that they took while filming her.

Let me just say that I am forever indebted to the care that our little one is receiving while in Korea. Foster Mom is SO attentive to her and you can tell that she loves her as her own. My heart breaks for the seperation that she will have to endure. Someday I hope I will be able to give as she gave.

Here is FM with our baby and that is the Photo album we sent. At the beginning of the video she is telling her "omma, oppa." Which is Mommy and Daddy in Korean.

This face is what we saw in her referral photo. Eyebrows scrrrrrunched together. Every time they wanted to take a picture this is what she would do. She looks really confused, worried. But while watching the video, I understand why she makes this face. I think she's trying to figure out what they are doing. She made this face while she was studying our pictures, when they gave her the doll. It's the cutest expression, but I was glad to see the many other expressions she had.

Come on now - it's she just precious?!

We are totally in love, by the way - just in case you didn't know.

One Month

2009-12-02T13:44:00.001-08:00

Today, my little peanut turns 7 months old. It's been one whole month since we said "she's OURS!" No legals - yet. Our agency went to Korea the week before Thanksgiving and 'word on the street' is that they took pictures and should be mailing them out soon. I'm a rather-be-surprized-kind-of-a-gal, so I haven't emailed/called our agency to see if they have recent pictures of our little darling. I'm hoping they do, but no guarentees. I'm also hoping that our legals are in that picture package. :)

I really thought that the wait to bring her home would be cake. But one month in, I can't wait to hold her, see her, listen to her sleep and just be with her. It's alot harder than I thought, but I will survive, and there IS an end in sight, now. I have literally tons of compassion for waiting mom's that have had to wait beyond the time they were orginally told. I feel for them, really feel for them. One things for sure, this adoption road isn't for the faint of heart.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray for the families that are waiting to bring thier children home. I pray that you will personally see to each piece of paper, each stage, each process that will get their babies home sooner. Please cover ALL adoptions with your loving provision. Please cover ALL of Your children and protect them as they wait for their forever families. Please give these families the strength to get through these times. Thank you for everything, in advance.
In Jesus' precious name,
Amen.

Happy Birthday Abram!!!

2009-12-01T09:54:00.000-08:00

My little Abram turns five today! He's actually not very "little" anymore. In fact, if he heard me say that he was "little" he would correct me by saying "I'm not little, I'M BIG!" So now that he is a BIG brother now, he's content with no longer being the baby of the family. As much as I want for time to fly, so that we can be united with our youngest child in Korea, I have a hard time with my babies getting older each year. I CANNOT believe that my little snuggler is five today. :(

Abram is a lively, witty and happy little boy (I keep saying little - I just can't help it!) He makes us laugh ALOT! But when he's grumpy - WOW - you can't change his mind! He's not the biggest eater, but he loves Spaghetti (only from a local restaurant here in town), pizza, candy (of any kind) and gum. This kid LOVES gum. He would chew it all. day. long. if I let him.

He is one of THE most loveable little guys I have ever been around. Hugs all around at every family gathering. He is known for making quick friends and for entertaining.

He LOVES his brother, but also loves time away from him. ;) Typical siblings. He likes what Bubba likes and looks up to him alot.

Many people have asked me how Abram will adjust to having a baby sister. If he will react to not being the baby anymore. I really don't think it will bother him much. He is VERY easy going. I think he will be a great big brother.
He loves school, he's really good at writing and can tend to be perfectionist. He's left handed, like me, so he does have the "right brain" artistic-ness. He loves to color and draw.

He was born with blue eyes (I know literally ALL babies are born with blue eyes - but his stayed blue until he was about 4.) and curly hair. LOVE the curly hair. It's just like Chad's and like Chad - he hates it. I comb it up and gel it, and he mashes it down. It's really a big bummer! Flat won't let me touch it! I think he just does it because I want it curly so darn bad! Did I mention that under this curly cuteness is a little bit of stubborness? Ohhhhhh yeah. He has quite the temper . . . let me tell 'ya.

He is very imaginative and loves building things. Lego's, boxes, strings, you name it - it is all fair game when it comes to his little inventions. Who knows what he is going to be when he grows up!?

I absolutely LOVE this boy and I am so very thankful for him. God made him SOOOO special and I am so glad that I get to be his mother.

Happy Fifth Birthday Abram! We love you so much!

I wish for you on this day, that all your dreams will come true, that your Heavenly Father will give you the desires of your heart and that HE will bless you immensely in the years to come. I love you, Wooda!

Her Name

2009-11-14T09:40:00.001-08:00

I can hardly believe that a whole two weeks has passed since I last posted. Where in the world did the time go? Since I last posted we have recieved THE acceptance packet (11/3) and signed and notarized 21 (that's right 2-1) pieces of paper (11/4) and overnighted it all back to our agency. Now we wait for "legals." That's our next step, getting the legal documentation from our agency in Korea for baby Joye. Once we signed over the acceptance packet, our information with that packet was sent to Korea to officially "match" us with our baby girl. The timeframe to get legals could take anywhere from 1-4 weeks or maybe longer. Some have recieved them with their referral and some have waited 6+ weeks.

Once we recieve our legals, then we can apply for our I600. Our agency does this for us. Which is the immigration paperwork to classify an orphan as an immediate member of our family (immigartion jargon, not mine). I'm going to stop there, because I could go on for another four+ paragraphs explaining the process of why it takes 6+ months to bring her home. I will post with each step, as they happen. Maybe that will get me to posting more often ;) (But I wouldn't hold my breath, if I were you.) Plus, it could be months between each step - so I'm just sayin' - don't count on it!

------------------------------------------

OK - the reason for my post, Baby Joye's name. When I was pregnant for the third time, I was convinced it was a girl, (but looking back on it, I think it was more wishful thinking than anything else.) So I was NOT going to pick out a boys name, because I was convinced it was a girl. When we lost the baby, we chose not to see if it was a boy or a girl. Factors beyond our control made it harder to find out anyway - total God thing. When we were officially on the list for a little girl from Korea, I just couldn't bring myself to use the name we had originally picked out. I prayed for God to give me the perfect name four our daughter waiting for us in Korea. It was around this time last year the we got a mailer for Thanksgiving from the 700 club. Inside were cards reminding us of the meaning of Thankgiving. One card had "Joy" and the Scripture that now adorns this lovely blog. :) "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence; and the pleasures of living with you forever." Psalm 16:11. It hit me. This explains our road to adoption, perfectly. Chad I both agreed (which we rarely do on names) that Joy would be a PERFECT name for our new little one! Then I made a blog (!) with this Scripture as it's name.

Then I found this Scripture "You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy." Psalm 30:11 And this one, "So I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn into joy."John 16:20 One more, "Weeping may go on all night, but JOY comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5b [emphasis added]

It was perfect. Simple. Beautiful. I know a couple people named Joy(e) and they are such wonderful people. One bloggy friend I met, while on this journey, went through the same thing we went through and I loved how she spelled her name. So I asked her permission if I could use her spelling. Being the sweetheart that she is, she granted me permission. She is a wonderful, faithful woman of God and has such a talent for writing.

When I was in High School I worked at our local Grocery Store and met another awesome woman of God named Joy. (HI JOY!) We worked together for a couple of years, but is still one of my greatest friends. A great supporter and I absolutely LOVE her! I have always loved the name and it's perfect for our little baby girl. I may be biast, but I think our darling daughter looks just like a Joy (with an e, of course!)

One more thing - in order to have TRUE joy in our life we need to follow the J.O.Y. acronym.

J-Jesus first
O-Others Second
Y-Yourself last

(I just LOVE it, don't you?)

Referral Day - THE Call!

2009-11-01T12:52:00.000-08:00

First of all I would like to introduce you to my daughter, Joye SeoYeon! Her name means "wise" and "beautiful," which I whole-heartily agree! There is much background as to why we chose the name Joye, but for now I just want to share the details of the day we got the call. (Can you believe the hair?! I am going to HAVE to invest in some of BriarClaire's clippies!)

Warning: I am a VERY detail-oriented person, and I have ran the way this day would play out through my mind for MANY months. So, hang on, it might be a LONG one! ;)

We were mid-way through the school day on Thursday (10/29) and I had to run an errand that had to be done in the morning. So the boys and I packed up and headed out for an extra-long break. Once we returned it was about 10:30 am and the phone rang. It was one of those pesky "unknown callers." I let the machine pick-up, because I rarely answer the phone while homeschooling anyway. It was AAC, and they wanted me to call them back. I thought, "well they probably need some information or something. I'll call them back in a minute." Then my cell phone rang. Hmmmm, that's odd. "Hello?" It was AAC, again. We proceeded to have small talk about the snow. Then there was this small pause and she said, "well, we have a baby girl that we would like you to look at." My mind was reeling is disbelief while she proceeded to tell me a little about her. "This little peanut was five pounds when she was born . . . . healthy delivery . . . ." I grabbed a pencil and paper an wrote down what I could remember. Then she said " would you like to review her file?" I said "absolutely!" So she verified my email and said to give her a call when we knew our answer.

I then called Chad (who was at work, 40 minutes away) and after about five minutes of convincing him that we had actually got THE CALL, he called his mom and I called mine. Then, I waited for FORTY-FIVE minutes for the file to come through. Yeah, 45 minutes! I then called AAC back and said, "I didn't get the file. I KNOW you sent it, because you told me you were going to, and I bet it's our tricky email address." Sure enough, there were a couple characters missing in the address. So she re-sent it, apologized and thanked me for calling. I then called Chad and sent it to his phone -without looking at it. It never got to his phone. So I sent it again. Nothing. Meanwhile, I opened her medical report but didn't look at her picture. We wanted to see her together. I knew she was mine once I saw her name. Chad was STILL not getting her picture. So I said "here, let me look, take a picture on my phone and send it that way." He said "go ahead." And then I saw this;

Isn't she the cutest little girl EVER? I gasped, and told him how cute she was. We talked for a little while and then he finally got the picture. Love at first sight for him too! We went over a few things and then emailed our family and friends. I emailed our doctor earlier on, and so we waited to hear back from him.

One proud Papa!

One happy Mama!

Kaleb cried, and asked if he was dreaming! How cute is that?! He loves her so much - even before he saw her picture!

Abram is SO happy to be a big brother! He talks about "baby sister" all the time. He kept asking about "that Adoption Show" and if we could turn it on. (?) I could only guess that he thought that we should be on "Adoption Stories." I don't know - but it's CUTE!

She's 13 pounds and 24.5 inches long. She was born May 2, 2009, and today she turns 6 months old. Happy Six Months sweet girl! (SO happy to have a spring baby!) She's precious and I knew she was mine when I saw her name. Her picture made it all seem more real.

We celebrated at a local Chinese Restaurant then headed off to Kaleb's Pack/Halloween Party. I wanted to get up in the front and show everyone our daughter's picture. We ended up telling a few Cub Scout parents that knew we were in process.

It's still surreal. I still can't believe that I have a little girl in Korea and that we are parents again.

We can't stop staring at her picture. It is SO good to know who my little girl is! God is SO good and I am so thankful to be picked to be her mother! Thank you JESUS!!!!

(We officially accepted this morning, that's why I waited so long to post) :)

Thankful Thursday

2009-10-29T15:08:00.000-07:00

I am SO thankful this Thursday. SO VERY THANKFUL. Thankful for waiting, thankful that it's OVER! Well . . . not quite. After all, we have to wait to get our precious, beautiful baby girl home.

AAC called me today and introduced me to the cutest and most beautiful baby girl I have EVER SEEN! I' ll have to wait to post pictures, but just take my word for it, she's BEAUTIFUL!!! (It's also in her name)

Dear Awesome Creator,

THANK YOU for giving me this precious spirit. She's perfect and I know you picked her out just for our family. Glory be to You. Words cannot express how thankful I am.

Amen.

My First Blog Award

2009-10-12T15:03:00.000-07:00

I just received my first blog award from a dear waiting-friend, Kara! I can't tell you how excited I am! I have wanted to do a get-to-know-me post but it just felt weird. Now I can! Well . . . kinda.

I love this because I can give it to some other waiter friends and they can do it and (hopefully) take their mind off of the waiting. (I know it's hard girls, but I think if you do this, it WILL help . . . some.)

Here are six friends that I give the award to, (not in any particular order):

"I LOVE your Blog!"

1. Tracie

2. Karen

3. SNC

4. Shelley

5. Kelly

6. Linny

Then I answer the following questions with only ONE word:

1. Where is your cell phone? charging

2. Your hair? short

3. Your mother? thoughtful

4. Your father? intelligent

5. Your favorite food? italian

6. Your dream last night? forgotten

7. Your favorite drink? coffee

8. Your dream/goal? photographer

9. What room are you in? office

10. Your hobby? quilting

11. Your fear? widow

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here

13. Where were you last night? denver

14. Something you aren't? perfect

15. Muffins? cinnamon

16. Wish list item? twins

17. Where did you grow up? Arizona

18. Last thing you did? phone

19. What are you wearing? jeans

20. Your TV? baseball

21. Your pets? outside

22. Friends? irreplaceable

23. Your life? designed

24. Your mood? exhausted

25. Missing someone? brother

26. Vehicle? Pacifica

27. Something you're not wearing? shoes

28. Your favorite store? Herberger's

29. Your favorite color? pink

30. When was the last time you laughed? yesterday

31. Last time you cried? wednesday

32. Your best friend? hubby

33. One place that I go over and over? mailbox

34. One person who emails me regularly? Mandie

35. Favorite place to eat? Zack's

I can't wait to see the responses of those that I gave the award to! (If you don't want to do it, no pressure!) Have fun!

Created

2009-10-01T17:49:00.000-07:00

Somewhere in Korea, is a woman who has given birth to a beautiful little girl. That woman loves her daughter. So much, that, she has decided she needs to be raised in a family. She could care for her, raise her. But she believes that her little girl would be better off in a family. Her heart hurts. The pain of leaving her daughter is unbarable, but necessary. God created her to be a birthmother.

Somewhere in Korea, is a woman who has been given a beautiful baby girl to take care of. She knows that this isn't a permanent arrangement. She feeds her, loves on her. Grows very attached to her. The baby's schedule becomes a big part of her life. She witnesses her first smile. Hears her first laugh. God created her to be a Foster Mother.

Somewhere in Colorado, is woman who longs for her baby girl. She hasn't seen her face. Doesn't know her likes, dislikes. Hasn't heard her cry. But she loves this baby girl more than words can describe. She prays for her, thanks God for her. But she's never met her. God created her to be an Adoptive Mother.

I am still amazed at the paths that God orchestrates for His children. Our little one is out there. And the path that brings her to us is going to be an amazing one. Long? Maybe, but it's all in His timing. Not like we invisioned it? Definately. He visioned it much greater than I ever could.

She was created to be in our family. Created to have our last name. Created to be a little sister.

There are so many components to an adoption process. I truly believe that the way everything works together is because of our Mighty Creator. HE knew way before we were even born that this little girl was going to be in our lives.

I am thankful for our baby's Birthmother. I am thankful for our baby's Foster Mother. If it weren't for these two women, our baby girl wouldn't be our baby girl. The plan of everyone's life is created when we are created. I am also thankful to be the person to raise, care for and LOVE this baby girl who was created to be my daughter.

Thank you, Mighty Creator.

Three

2009-09-22T11:10:00.000-07:00

It has been three months since we have moved on the list. Almost four.

It has been a little over three weeks since I posted last. I had really nothing new to share. I tried to come up with another post, but I just couldn't.

I haven't posted in September yet, month three in the third quarter. So here it is:

We are now NUMBER THREE! Can you feel my excitement?! It was a LONG three (almost four) months of no girl referrals, no movement, no - nothing. And then, over the weekend two of my favorite waiters, #1 and #2 on our agency list, recieved their little girls. BEAUTIFUL little girls, I might add. Their stories - breathtaking, their patience - amazing. Our God has the absolute BEST timing. Ever.

I have to say, I am actually excited again about meeting our little girl for the first time. AND we are closer than we have ever been before. All of the sudden I feel VERY unprepared. There's really not much to do before we get the long-awaited call, but I feel like there is. :)

So, number three, I love being number three. It feels a heck-of-a lot better than #5!

Surrender.

2009-08-29T12:35:00.000-07:00

Surrender.

When I hear this word, this is what I think of:

Giving up. Losing. Quitting. Not trying hard enough. The opposite of control.

Webster's Dictionary terms surrender as: 1. (a) to yield to the power, control, possession of another upon compulsion or demand. (b) to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another. 2. (a) to give (oneself) up into the power of another especially as a prisoner. (b) to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence).

The past three months have been tough. For a year, my whole world has been centered on our adoption process. Everytime our Homestudy was delayed, or our Social Worker said she would call, and didn't, we would both say, "It's all in God's timing!" Saying it, put us both at ease. When the list didn't move last fall, we said "We're just beginning - we still have alot of waiting left to do!" No. Big. Deal.

In June, we repeated to ourselves, "it's all in God's timing." Then came July, we asked "I wonder why God's stalling the list and our process? We want her home by Christmas!" Many questions have crossed our minds. I became frustrated, angry, and even lost hope that we would even see the light at the end of the adoption tunnel. We kept reminding ourselves that God put us on this path, and HE is faithful. I trusted Him. I did. But I silently wondered why he couldn't just move the list a couple of spots. Restore our hope for a little while longer. I mean, He can do anything, why not this little thing?

Then I realized, through MANY revelations, that I was focusing WAY to much on the list, movement, and what number I was that I was losing sight of what really mattered. Jesus.
It was then that I surrendered.

I didn't give up - I let go.

I let go of the fact that I can't do anything about the list standing still.

I let go of all the details of how many referrals per month it will take to get her home by Christmas.

I let go of it ALL. I surrendered this process to Him. It's His process, not mine. It's His daughter, not mine. HE has given me the immense pleasure of loving her, teaching her, raising her and cherishing every single day with her. She is HIS, not mine.

I LOVE the way the Bible uses the word surrender.

"Surrender yourself to the LORD, and wait patiently for Him." Psalm 37:7a

Patience is hard, and so is surrendering. However, I believe we were made to do both, in Him.

Trusting in Him allows us to experience peace, freedom and His power in our lives.

Like the old hymn goes, " I surrender all."

All to Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him;
In His presence daily live.

Refrain:

I surrender all;
I surrender all;
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender,
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
Oh, the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His name!

Getaway

2009-08-26T13:17:00.001-07:00

Since we have been saving and saving for the adoption, we haven't really gone anywhere in a while. Gone anywhere to get away, that is. So my hubby and I decided to take the boys and go camping for an extra-long weekend.

I really needed to forget about everything adoption and get up in the high elevation and see God's beautiful country. I was excited. We all were. Chad wanted to get away from everything work, and relax. No cell phones, no TV, it was going to be GREAT.

We left on Thursday afternoon and headed up. We found the perfect campsite, right on the lake,

and maneuvered the pop-up in just the right spot. We decided that he would begin popping up the camper and I would go pay for our three-night stay. I didn't want to take the dog with me and so I put her in the truck and headed up the hill to the self-pay station. "Should I roll down the window?" I asked myself. "Naaaa, it's cool out here, and besides, I will be right back."

Came back from paying and proceeded to empty the truck. Well, I tried. The doors were locked. Huh, that's funny, why would Chad lock the doors while I was away?

Me: "Hey, babes, do you have the keys?"

Chad: "What keys?"

Me: "The key's to the truck." (hello!)

Chad: . . . feeling his pockets for the keys. "I think I left them in there."

Me: . . . starting to panic, while running to the truck to see if, in fact, they were in the ingnition.

"Uh,Ohhhhhhh."

My sweet hubby then calmly went into the trailer to get a coat hanger (that we have used for roasting marshmallows) and tried for AN HOUR to get the door unlocked.

He stayed calm, and I panicked. ALL of our food, clothes, bedding . . . EVERYTHING was in that truck. Locked. No cell phone (in the truck). My cell was dying and I couldn't get service. Wouldn't help anyway, who would we call? No one had a key to our house and therefore couldn't get our spare key. We were a good hour from home and had NO way of getting back safely. It was going to be getting dark in about two hours and we were stuck. In the wilderness. No food. No coats. Nothing.

We were contemplating breaking a small window, when a guy in a BIG truck stopped, rolled down his window and said, "I hope that's your vehicle!" We laughed. (ha, ha, ha . . . funny, dude!) Then his friend pulled up behind him and they both got out. We explained to them what had happened. The two guys and Chad ended up prying the door enough so that the coat hanger cleared the weather strip and then he pushed the unlock button with it. An absolute miracle! They then told us that they were just in the area looking around! They were at the right place at the right time. It took them less than ten minutes to help us.(I was shocked that they stopped.) They were from Washington and they were camped pretty far from where we were. We thanked them excessively and were totally thankful they came, and even stopped.

When they left, I said to my oldest son, "I believe those two men were Angels. We... were just touched by Angels." (Which happens to be my favorite show on TV right now. They have such good messages!)

Who would have known that a little three-pound dog would have locked the doors!

It was an important lesson for all of us. Next time I see someone that needs help, I will stop and offer. If they would have not stopped and helped, I still don't know what would have became of our getaway. What started as horrible, ended up as one of the BEST 'vacations' we have ever had as a family.

We . . .

. . . hiked,

. . . rock climbed. (Not really). Kind of a cool picture, though. The rock is only two-feet off the ground.

. . . echoed. (I'm pretty sure that's not a real word, but you get the idea.)

. . . fished.

. . . . roasted s'mores, relaxed, read and enjoyed ourselves immensely.

We came back Sunday, burned, filthy, exhausted but, pleasantly happy.

It ended up being a GREAT getaway and just what we all needed.

Some things

2009-08-10T13:22:00.000-07:00

Some things I have been doing lately. . .

. . . not blogging. I really haven't had anything to blog about. There has been no movement in the list for about 9 weeks. But I'm not counting ;)

. . . wondering if this drought in referrals is normal. Well, it is. I checked. We had a lull in the fall of last year (it seemed easier back then). And others that have been through this assured all of us waiters that it is in fact, normal. The adoption process is very unpredictable.

. . . schooling. We started our school year a week ago. We started early so that we can have a month break when baby sister comes home.

. . . visiting a friend that just came home from Korea three weeks ago, with her adorable baby boy. It was great to hear her experience and see what it's like on the other side of waiting. (Now I'm wondering if a month off from school is enough time to adjust and get back on schedule).

. . . coming to the realization that we won't have baby girl home before Christmas. This was a tough one. Even if we do get a referral within the next month or two, the probability of her coming home before the New Year, is pretty small. Korea has a limit of how many visas are issued per year. The families that recieved their referral in June/July have been told that they may not get their babies' visa issued before the end of this year. Heartbreaking.

. . . understanding that EVERYTHING is in God's perfect timing. Trusting that HE has our best interest at heart. Knowing that we will see our baby's sweet face, eventually.

. . . feeling for those that have been waiting at the #1 and #2 spot on the list for the past 9 weeks! My heart just aches for these two families. It's been a long haul. One in particular has been waiting for longer than any of us, and Karen, I am praying for you and hoping that you will see your sweet daughter's face very soon!

. . . reading.

. . . listening to adoption-related podcasts.

. . . trying to be patient.

. . . teaching my boys the value of working together (and not fighting).

. . . praying. ALOT.

. . . dreaming of the day when our little girl will be with us, the family she was created for, and the family that was created for her. *Sigh*

God brought kitty.

2009-07-14T13:53:00.000-07:00

There are two kinds of pet people, well actually three kinds, the cat-lovers, dog-lovers and those that choose not to have pets. I am a dog person, my hubby is a cat person. I was raised with dogs and he was raised with cats. So how do two people with such backgrounds choose their first pet? Our first pet was . . . a cat. Yep, he won.

Actually, I loved our kitty, Phoebe (he also picked the name). She was very independent and never listened to a word I said. I quickly found out that cats aren't really trainable, well unless they think it's worth it. So when our beloved kitty passed on (she had really bad skin cancer) I didn't plan on having another one. We got a little dog for the boys and we were good with just one pet.

My youngest son is a cat-lover. He has begged for a kitty for the past year. Literally. My parents and my in-laws both have a cat and I said "you have a kitty honey, at Nanny's and Grandma's." Um, not very convincing, I guess. I have came to the conclusion that my little boy prayed for God to bring us a kitty.

On the morning of our 10th wedding anniversary, a tiny, malnourished, scared, wild kitty found itself under our bay window. It took us about an hour to finally reach her and pull her out. She was extremely skinny and barely alive.

She was so little and could barely meow or even eat. We fed her warm milk and she acted like she hadn't eaten for a long while. Within minutes, she was purring.

That night we kept her in a big box inside the house and she cried alot through the night. She was really scared and was very unsure of her surroundings. She was NOT used to being around humans. My oldest son asked "why is she crying and meowing so loud?" and I said "she's calling for her mommy."

Four weeks later, she is a VERY different kitten. She prefers me over anyone else. She's playful, curious, healthy, and brings so much happiness to our family. I go out to greet her and feed her and she comes right up to me and purrs the loudest purr I have heard a little kitten do. Where before, she wouldn't come near any of us and she was petrified of everything.

Here she is about two weeks ago. She is now twice this size.

I now know why God sent us this kitty. The path of our kitty parallels the path of life that begins when our little girl comes home. She won't be malnourished and afraid of humans. But she will cry and mourn for her Foster mother. She will be unsure and maybe fearful of her new surroundings. And although we won't nurse her back to health, we will begin the attachment process. Kittens don't purr unless they feel safe, and I believe that our baby girl will supernaturally know that she was meant to be in our arms and in our family from day one. It will feel "natural" to her, just like kitty felt naturally safe.

I don't equate the "saving" of a kitty to that of "saving" our daughter. God has shown me through this instance that animals, just like people, are born with instinct. And our little princess will instinctively know that I am her mother. It will feel right to her. This little lesson that God gave me really put me at peace. I will instinctively know what to do and how to attach, with Him right by my side. There is alot to adoption, but I wouldn't have it any other way and I am so thankful for these gifts that HE has given us.

Update(s) with butterflies

2009-07-01T14:08:00.001-07:00

Adoption: Absolutely NO movement, what-so-ever, on the list since June 8th! I know, what is up, huh? Bring us some babies already! This is sheer torture and I can't imagine what life is like when you're #1 and waiting. Jumping. every. time. the. phone. rings. That will be me, well, I already jump when the phone rings and I'm only #5! It will be soon, though, July is our month for FOUR referrals, I can feel it! ;)

Baseball: The Machine-Pitch season is over. No more cheering. No more Wednesday night practices. No more games. What will I do with my summer now? I'm sure I will find something! ;) We finished at First Place, 7-1. Not bad, but I am sad for it to be over. It was a great year and K. (our oldest) really improved on his skills. Can't wait for next year!

Waiting: Doing anything and everything to keep my mind off of that darn referral call. Just thinking about that phone call sends my whole stomach into butterflies. I can't wait! NO, REALLY, I literally can't wait! Actually, I CAN, and I will! Being able to tell our number on the list with ONE hand really does something to a person. One word, Butterflies.

Festivities for the Weekend (the Fourth of July): BIG plans for the fourth. Well, unless you count a really small town parade, a lunch BBQ, then a dinner BBQ and fireworks BIG, then ok, BIG plans. We do it every year. And every year we say "I wonder what we will be/have/do next year at this time?" Well, hold on folks, I can say with assurance (I hope) that our little girl will be watching the parade with us next year! (Butterflies, yet again)

Last year at this time we were praying and seriously considering adopting a little girl from South Korea. It was at the end of July that we officially filled out the Preliminary Application and received the ENORMOUS package in the mail. I was at a family reunion in Kansas when Chad got the packet. Overwhelmed, he called me and asked, "what are we doing again?"

Once I got back, we trudged through each piece of paperwork. On August 4th, 2008 we mailed off our official Application and the money it took to get us started. Our agency received the check, packet and put us on the girl's list on August 14, 2008 at #25. That's the day we became a waiting family. I anxiously await the day that we finally become a forever family.
Oooh, a familiar feeling, butterflies.

10 Months and 10 years

2009-06-19T09:32:00.000-07:00

So, today we have been waiting 10 months and 1 week to see our sweet baby's face. Someday's it seems like forever and yet, somedays it seems like it went by SO fast!

Ten years ago today, my soulmate and I exchanged vows and became devoted to each other for eternity. Again, someday's it feels like forever ago that I was in a beautiful white dress, excitedly awaiting our wonderful life together.

And other days it feels like that last ten years has went by in a flash! Either way, I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to share my life with a man that is so wonderful, words cannot describe!

I found it kind of ironic, the simularity of ten. Ten months . . . ten years. Huh, amazing. I literally thanked our Heavenly Father for the past ten years and everything that He has blessed us with. Without Him as our glue, we wouldn't be where we are today. Everything we have is His, and we are eternally thankful.

Blessed to be on both paths, and I hope to see our baby girl soon!

Happy Anniversary Babe, and I love more than words can express!

Glory.

2009-06-16T14:19:00.000-07:00

"Shout joyful praises to God, all the earth!

Sing about the glory of His name! Tell the world how glorious he is."

Psalm 66:1-2

Well, it's over. The Yard Sale, that is. Two exhausting days out in the sun, hauling boxes and boxes of stuff in and out, in and out of the shop. In the midst of it all, Chad and I both found such a blessing in every single detail of the weekend. It was tiring, but yet, so incredibly FUN!

We live in a relatively small town and we really wondered if our Sale would be worth the time. Turns out, that small town thing was what brought all the people! My In-laws have lived here for over 25 years and my parents have lived here for about 15. Plus, our family business is pretty well known, as well.

We raised a little over $3,000! To God be the glory, and really the only reason I put how much we raised, is to bring the glory to HIM. Without Him in this, it wouldn't have been NEAR as successful. We were truly blessed to be a part of it. Literally. There were countless people that came by just to put money in the donation jar. In this economy, it was miraculous to see!

More important the the money, were all the people that were interested in the process. It was great to tell our story and talk about adoption all weekend long. It really was fun. Who knows, maybe we brought more awareness to adoption through this weekend! I hope so!

Baseball Update: Just in case you wanted to know, Kaleb's team is doing really well, and for you competitive parents out there, we are 5-0 UNDEFEATED! Nice huh!? We have three games left and I will continue to keep you posted.

Adoption Update: Nothing to report. Holding tight to #5, but can't wait to be number 4! ;)

Another Bloggy Referral!

2009-06-09T20:15:00.000-07:00

Another bloggy friend of mine, Tracie, got her referral! You HAVE to see this little angel! She is absolutely adorable! So, that makes us #5! I was just filling out posters stating what our Yard Sale was for, and that we started at #25 and are now #6, but now I am going to have to replace it with a big 5 instead! Totally cool with that! Congrat's Tracie, and I hope the path to bring her home is VERY SPEEDY!

Yard Sale Status: We have recieved MANY donations and are VERY thankful for every. single. one! We have quite the collection. YAY! I was busy all day pricing . . . and sorting . . . and sneezing! I have terrible allergies, and I think one load was doused in Russian Olive pollen. Terribly allergic to Russian Olive! ACHOOO!

I think it's going to be a success and I am SO excited (to get it over with)! No, seriously, I am really excited to see what becomes of the weekend and I hope we sell ALL OF IT! You never know, and I really feel His peace and presence in it all. Hoping for nothin' but sunshine!

I took a couple pictures of the Quilt, it's hard to get all of a King Size Quilt while trying to show the pretty details, but here's one of them.

I think it is REALLY pretty, but I'm kind of biased. ;) Hope it brings $ to get baby home! All of the profit from the Yard Sale and the Quilt Money will go towards travel OR Escort. Yep, STILL haven't decided which. Hopefully we will before we get our Travel Call!!! :)

Busy. Summer.

2009-06-03T09:00:00.000-07:00

Since Summer officially arrived, we have literally been on the go EVERYDAY! Which is good, because it keeps me busy and my mind off of "what number are we now?" I think and pray for our little girl everyday, but the closer we get, the more obesessed (and trust me it's an obsession) I become with what number we are and how many referrals it will take per month to get to our appoximate referral date. You know, the possible scenarios - if there are three more referrals this month, and three in July, then that will put us getting the call in late July/early August. That's only six, you say? Well didn't I tell you? We are now #6! I have a feeling, that maybe, just maybe, we will get the call before August (highly unlikely, though). I have been wrong MANY times before and I definately think that it's more wishful thinking than anything. The most referrals our agency has had in one month is three, since we have been waiting. From other timlines, there were five (I think) in July of last year. I'm hoping for a big batch, soon! Either way, we are getting VERY close and I can't wait to see my baby girl!

Remember a while back I posted about maybe having Yard Sale for a fundraiser? Well that's what we have been gearing up for the last couple of weeks. It will be next weekend, and we have already recieved lots of donated stuff. Family and Friends are also donating baked goods, crafts and all sorts of goodies. We are SO excited to see God move and we have already been SO blessed by the support and help that we have been given.

A very talented quilting friend of ours offered to help us make a quilt to help raise funds as well. She donated most of the material, alot of her time and even quilted it for us. It's a King and it turned out absolutely beautiful! It's a log cabin quilt with all kinds of colors and even some black. It really turned out great. I will post some pictures soon. I really want it on MY bed. But it goes for a great cause and I am thankful for opportunity and the time it took to put it together.

Kaleb is in Machine-Pitch Baseball and so we have been VERY busy with practices and games. He's got three GREAT coaches this year and is really learning the game well. It's been fun watching him learn and find a sport that he loves. I am surprized at how competitive I can get while watching! I am NOT a competitive person, but baseball tends to bring that out! Healthy competition, that is! No pressure. ;)

We wrapped up our first year of Cub Scouts and now Kaleb is officially a Wolf. He got his Tiger patch and will have Day Camp in July. Abram can't wait to be in Cub Scouts and can't wait to start T-Ball. "Just like Bubba." It's hard since Abram is 4 1/2, there aren't many activites to put him in. He enjoys going with, and watching Bubba, though. Plus, the craziness will really start when I have two boys in different activites. I am enjoying this time, believe me.

I hope this Summer finds you well and blessed. I will keep you "posted" on the Yard Sale, Quilt Fundraiser and Baseball (so far we are 1-0 -- yipee!).

Bloggy friend Referral!

2009-05-27T07:57:00.000-07:00

Shelley, a sweet bloggy friend that I have met through the blessing of adoption, recieved her referral of a beautiful baby girl yesterday! HUGE CONGRATS TO HER AND HER FAMILY! We have waited together since last fall and have supported each other through the tough times of waiting. We are also through the same agency. She is SO supportive of everyone and gives to others continually. Pop on over to her blog and take a gander and her beautiful daughter, she's a REAL cutie! I hope the wait to bring her home is VERY short!

Questions: Answered

2009-05-20T10:19:00.001-07:00

We sent out a letter at the beginning of January to friends and family, explaining our exciting journey toward adoption. Since then, I have had a few inquire about the details. And, really, that's kind of why I started this blog, to inform our friends and family and whoever else that happened upon it (the blog). So today, I want to do a post entirely on the details of why, how and how old, which seem to be the ones asked most recently.

Why Korea?

I may have touched on this already, but Korea kind of chose us. We first looked into China, but I wasn't 30 years old yet and we really didn't want to wait to apply. Then wait for another 3-4 years to bring her home. Plus the qualifications were ALOT harder. So we began researching other Asian countries and even Africa. The age requirement (less than 30 years) really helped us narrow countries down. South Korea really popped out at us. It was the oldest and most solid program (it began in the mid-1950's) which really comforted us. The babies were cared for in Foster homes, instead of orphanages, and were typically younger in age than most other countries that we looked into. I then found AAC in our Yellow pages (a miracle, I believe) and the rest is history! They are based in Berthoud (Denver area) and have two Social Workers here on the Western Slope to do homestudies and Training. Perfect. Looking back, I truly believe God has His Hands on the WHOLE thing! We absolutely LOVE our agency and I am SO thankful to be a part of it all.

Why not Domestic (inside the US) Adoption?

Chad and I discussed Domestic for about three minutes, and mutually decided it really wasn't for us. We have since discussed it, and have remained confident in our decision. Mainly, having just lost our baby, the probability of having a birthmother change her mind didn't appeal to us. We wanted something more concrete. Don't get me wrong, things go wrong in International Adoption - governmental changes, countries closing, more restrictions - but overall the South Korean Program has been around for a long time, and we found it very appealing. Same conclusion with Foster Care/Foster-to-adopt. Didn't feel like it was the path we were to take at this particular time.

How old will she be when you get her?

Remember those regulations I mentioned in the previous question? Well South Korea used to adopt their babies out at birth, and were usually united with their forever families at about 4-5 months of age. Beginning in 2007, that changed, and South Korea started a new initiative of Domestic Adoption. So now, our little girl will be matched with us when she is about five months old. S. Korea gives the children a chance to be adopted within their birth country first, then internationally.

Once we become #1, our agency gets a packet from Korea, with all of our little ones medical info., pictures, and such, and gives us A CALL (I get butterflies just writing this). They say "we have a little girl for you to look at," followed by me screeeeaaaming to the top of my lungs and crying uncontrollably (that's how I envision it, anyway). AAC then sends us her information via email and we fall madly in love. We typically have 24-48 hours to accept our referral. During this time, we give her file to an IAP (international adoption physician) to review and tell us what he thinks, and a brief medical history explained in layman's terms. The babies are usually very healthy.

We then give our agency a call back and say "she's ours, we accept!" After that all of our information (homestudy) is sent to Korea and then 1-4 weeks later our "Legals" arrive. Which is just the legal paperwork stating that we intend to adopt this little girl. After that, there is a series of (MANY) steps to get her home. We will deal with those, and I'm sure will have another LONG post (like this one) stating that process, after we get our referral. Typically, the timelines from referral to travel (bringing her home) average around 4 months. Some are longer, some are quicker. Depends on the paperwork and how quickly it gets done, both in Korea and here in the US.

So a VERY long answer to a VERY short question is 8-9 months, ideally. Some are closer to a year. It really varies.

What is her name?

We have a very beautiful name already picked out, but I will announce it once we announce her. Her middle name will be the name she was given at birth, her Korean name. Some babies are named by their birthmother and others are named by their Social Worker in Korea. Either way, we want to keep it.

She'll be American, so why would you include her culture?

She was born in Korea, and so her culture will be a huge part of who she is as a person. Yes, she will reside in the United States, but a part of her heart will always be in Korea. Her birthparents are there, her Foster parents that raised her for the first 8-9 months of her life, are in Korea. The sounds, smells, language will all be a part of her - forever. She may not retain alot of it, but she will always connect to Korea in a very special way. That is why we are really praying about going to Korea to get her. We will be able to bring things back, tell her of the wonderful counrty Korea is, and to meet her Foster Parents. All priceless.

Ok, those were the ones that I felt led to touch on. I'm sure there will be more, and I welcome any questions anyone may have.

HS update and Last day of School!

2009-05-08T07:28:00.000-07:00

Our Social Worker called yesterday and our Homestudy is officially typed up and completed. I know I posted that it was already done, which it was, but it needed to be typed up sent to AAC for revisions and then reviewed by us. So we will meet with her next week and then I believe it's off to the State to be approved. We're getting CLOSER! I am going to call AAC next week and see if there is anything we need to be doing and make sure that we are "paper ready." I've done everything on my checklist and now we just . . . wait.

I'm feeling that we will see our little girl's face sometime in July. There were three referral's each in March and April. So if we have three in May and three in June, that puts us at #2 in July! As we have found out with our Homestudy, it's all in His Timing.

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Today is the last day of school for Kaleb and I. Wahoooo! We start pretty early in the fall so we can have an early summer. Next year, I will have a 3rd Grader and a Kindergartener plus a 8-9 month old to entertain! I can't wait! It will be very different schooling two and having a little one. But I wouldn't have it any other way. It won't be easy, but in the end I believe that this is what is best for our family. I LOVE having them home and being able to give them a solid foundation. I have scheduled a month-long break from school, next year, once baby sister comes home. It will give us some adjustment time and getting a schedule in place. I hope. It will be interesting, to say the least! Relying on His power, and I'm sure He will get me through!

Waiting

2009-05-05T10:29:00.000-07:00

I was brousing the Holt BB this morning and found this video. I was feeling discouraged this past weekend because I don't feel like we will get our little girl home before Christmas. I was really hoping we could. This video put everything into perspective. Plus, the time we wait is very minimal compared to the time - lifetime - we get to spend with her. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y

God chose Mary

2009-04-30T13:33:00.001-07:00

Kaleb and I were reading our Bible lesson yesterday morning and what he read out loud struck me:

"Jesus was born into a very special family. Mary, his mother, was chosen by God."

I guess I always knew this, but thinking like an adoptive mother, the meaning of it all really hit me. I'm not saying that I am Mary, and am not equating my situation to that of Mary's, but it made me think . . .

"God chose me to be the mother of a very special little girl in Korea, and He chose her to be a part of our family."

This revelation made me think of Joseph's relationship to Jesus. God was Jesus' father, and yet Joseph loved him just like a father would. Amazing isn't it?! God didn't wait until Mary and Joseph had been married and concieved a child together, and then say "this child within you is Jesus, the Son of God."(that wouldn't have worked, but you get the point) He designed it all as an Adoption story.

So when my little brown-eyed beauty begins to ask me all the questions about her birth family, why we decided to adopt and how she came to be "ours" I will refer to this story and tell her "God picked us all out like flowers, put us in a vase, which is our family, and He is the water that keeps us growing, together."